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1 year ago
1 year ago
2 years ago
50 purse cent
Another negotiator
Maybe she never learned to spell because of one of these, here are five humorous and ridiculous reasons why you might not have learned to spell in grade school:
The Sneaky Spelling Bee Sabotage: Every time you studied for a spelling bee, your pet parrot would swoop in and mimic the wrong words, leaving you with a vocabulary full of squawks and chirps instead of proper spelling.
The Mischievous Magic Spellbook: Your attempts to study spelling were constantly thwarted by a mischievous magic spellbook that would swap out the correct spellings for ridiculous alternatives like "eleventeen" and "kangaroom."
The Dastardly Dictionary Demons: Every time you opened a dictionary to look up a word, dictionary demons would pop out and rearrange the letters, turning your innocent search for knowledge into a chaotic game of word scramble.
The Pernicious Pencil Predicament: Your pencils were secretly in cahoots with the erasers, conspiring to erase your spelling homework every time you turned your back. It was like your own personal spelling Bermuda Triangle!
The Treacherous Typewriter Tyranny: Every time you tried to practice spelling on a typewriter, the keys would rebel and type out nonsensical gibberish like "qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnm" instead of actual words. It was like a typewriter version of autocorrect gone haywire!
Maybe she never learned to spell because of one of these, here are five humorous and ridiculous reasons why you might not have learned to spell in grade school:
The Sneaky Spelling Bee Sabotage: Every time you studied for a spelling bee, your pet parrot would swoop in and mimic the wrong words, leaving you with a vocabulary full of squawks and chirps instead of proper spelling.
The Mischievous Magic Spellbook: Your attempts to study spelling were constantly thwarted by a mischievous magic spellbook that would swap out the correct spellings for ridiculous alternatives like "eleventeen" and "kangaroom."
The Dastardly Dictionary Demons: Every time you opened a dictionary to look up a word, dictionary demons would pop out and rearrange the letters, turning your innocent search for knowledge into a chaotic game of word scramble.
The Pernicious Pencil Predicament: Your pencils were secretly in cahoots with the erasers, conspiring to erase your spelling homework every time you turned your back. It was like your own personal spelling Bermuda Triangle!
The Treacherous Typewriter Tyranny: Every time you tried to practice spelling on a typewriter, the keys would rebel and type out nonsensical gibberish like "qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnm" instead of actual words. It was like a typewriter version of autocorrect gone haywire!
1 year ago
2 years ago
When does it open
Might be closed for him for a while from now on. Normal business hours are between 1 pm and 1 am. That is ample time for sexy time. here is a list of why these legs stay closed before 1PM :
"The Morning Sleep Spell": Her legs remain closed until 1 pm due to the powerful enchantment of the morning sleep spell. No amount of coffee or alarm clocks can break its hold—only the magical hour of 1 pm can lift the curse and set her legs free.
"The Noontime Negotiation": Her legs are closed until 1 pm because they're busy negotiating a better deal with gravity. Apparently, they've struck a bargain to stay firmly shut until the clock strikes 1, at which point they'll graciously return to their usual upright position.
"The Brunch Buffet Break": Her legs are closed until 1 pm because they're waiting for the all-you-can-eat brunch buffet to open. Apparently, they've heard rumors of bottomless mimosas and unlimited bacon, and they refuse to budge until they've had their fill.
"The Midday Siesta Syndrome": Her legs are closed until 1 pm because they're observing the sacred ritual of the midday siesta. Apparently, they've decided to take a page out of the Spanish playbook and indulge in a leisurely nap until the sun reaches its zenith.
"The Pre-Lunch Limbo": Her legs are closed until 1 pm because they're stuck in a state of pre-lunch limbo. Apparently, they've decided to hold out until the lunch bell rings, at which point they'll eagerly spring into action in search of sustenance.
"The Morning Sleep Spell": Her legs remain closed until 1 pm due to the powerful enchantment of the morning sleep spell. No amount of coffee or alarm clocks can break its hold—only the magical hour of 1 pm can lift the curse and set her legs free.
"The Noontime Negotiation": Her legs are closed until 1 pm because they're busy negotiating a better deal with gravity. Apparently, they've struck a bargain to stay firmly shut until the clock strikes 1, at which point they'll graciously return to their usual upright position.
"The Brunch Buffet Break": Her legs are closed until 1 pm because they're waiting for the all-you-can-eat brunch buffet to open. Apparently, they've heard rumors of bottomless mimosas and unlimited bacon, and they refuse to budge until they've had their fill.
"The Midday Siesta Syndrome": Her legs are closed until 1 pm because they're observing the sacred ritual of the midday siesta. Apparently, they've decided to take a page out of the Spanish playbook and indulge in a leisurely nap until the sun reaches its zenith.
"The Pre-Lunch Limbo": Her legs are closed until 1 pm because they're stuck in a state of pre-lunch limbo. Apparently, they've decided to hold out until the lunch bell rings, at which point they'll eagerly spring into action in search of sustenance.
2 years ago
Unemployment didn't suit him
Better a job you hate then a rent you can't pay
Hate your job? Try this new trend : HOMELESSNESS
"Free Spirit Lifestyle:"
"Why be chained to a mortgage when you can roam free? No rent, no rules, just you and the open road!"
"Social Experiment Fame:"
"Become a YouTube sensation! Document your journey from cubicle to curb for fame and followers."
"Fashion Freedom:"
"Say goodbye to suits, hello to dumpster chic! Who needs designer labels when you can rock garbage bag couture?"
"Gourmet Dumpster Dining:"
"Forget fancy restaurants, embrace the thrill of dumpster delicacies. It's like a daily treasure hunt for your taste buds!"
"Urban Adventure:"
"Trade suburbia for the concrete jungle! From dodging pigeons to perfecting your cardboard castle, city living is the ultimate adventure!"
Hate your job? Try this new trend : HOMELESSNESS
"Free Spirit Lifestyle:"
"Why be chained to a mortgage when you can roam free? No rent, no rules, just you and the open road!"
"Social Experiment Fame:"
"Become a YouTube sensation! Document your journey from cubicle to curb for fame and followers."
"Fashion Freedom:"
"Say goodbye to suits, hello to dumpster chic! Who needs designer labels when you can rock garbage bag couture?"
"Gourmet Dumpster Dining:"
"Forget fancy restaurants, embrace the thrill of dumpster delicacies. It's like a daily treasure hunt for your taste buds!"
"Urban Adventure:"
"Trade suburbia for the concrete jungle! From dodging pigeons to perfecting your cardboard castle, city living is the ultimate adventure!"
2 years ago
The Central Bureaucracy from Futurama
The winner of the not my job award goes to that clerk. The DMV what a place! As a person who's never been to one I only hears legends of this magnificent fun and relaxing government run spa. Here are some :
"The Waiting Room Spa Experience": Forget about stressful waiting rooms—this DMV offers complimentary massages, cucumber eye masks, and soothing aromatherapy to ease your DMV-induced tension. Who knew renewing your driver's license could be so relaxing?
"License to Chill": Instead of enduring long lines and grumpy clerks, this DMV encourages visitors to kick back and relax in their state-of-the-art lounge area. With reclining chairs, cozy blankets, and a bottomless supply of hot cocoa, you'll be tempted to extend your stay indefinitely.
"Personalized Serenades While You Wait": Say goodbye to boring elevator music—this DMV boasts live musical performances from local talent while you wait. From soothing jazz to upbeat pop hits, you'll be tapping your toes and humming along as you renew your registration.
"DIY Car Maintenance Workshops": Tired of shelling out big bucks for routine car maintenance? This DMV offers free DIY workshops where you can learn to change your oil, rotate your tires, and perform basic repairs—all while waiting for your number to be called. It's like a grease monkey's paradise!
"Celebrity Sightings Galore": You never know who you'll run into at this DMV—celebrities, politicians, even the occasional superhero. With paparazzi lurking around every corner, you'll feel like a VIP as you renew your license alongside the rich and famous. Who needs Hollywood when you've got the DMV?
"The Waiting Room Spa Experience": Forget about stressful waiting rooms—this DMV offers complimentary massages, cucumber eye masks, and soothing aromatherapy to ease your DMV-induced tension. Who knew renewing your driver's license could be so relaxing?
"License to Chill": Instead of enduring long lines and grumpy clerks, this DMV encourages visitors to kick back and relax in their state-of-the-art lounge area. With reclining chairs, cozy blankets, and a bottomless supply of hot cocoa, you'll be tempted to extend your stay indefinitely.
"Personalized Serenades While You Wait": Say goodbye to boring elevator music—this DMV boasts live musical performances from local talent while you wait. From soothing jazz to upbeat pop hits, you'll be tapping your toes and humming along as you renew your registration.
"DIY Car Maintenance Workshops": Tired of shelling out big bucks for routine car maintenance? This DMV offers free DIY workshops where you can learn to change your oil, rotate your tires, and perform basic repairs—all while waiting for your number to be called. It's like a grease monkey's paradise!
"Celebrity Sightings Galore": You never know who you'll run into at this DMV—celebrities, politicians, even the occasional superhero. With paparazzi lurking around every corner, you'll feel like a VIP as you renew your license alongside the rich and famous. Who needs Hollywood when you've got the DMV?
