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She could have been a little more polite though

is the whorehouse in charge of Amazon now?

Eggy head and the chicken have a beautiful future a head (get it?) of them but we still wanted to know why a bald head triggered this gorgeous blondes nesting instincts, so we obviously made some up:

"The Golden Glow Guarantee:" Sitting on your bald head is like basking in the warm glow of a radiant sunbeam—except instead of sunlight, it's the golden aura of your gleaming scalp. Who needs a tanning salon when you have the world's most reflective dome?

"The Bald Brilliance Buffet:" Your bald head is like a gourmet buffet for the senses, offering a smooth and inviting surface that's perfect for lounging. It's like sitting on a velvet cushion—only better, because it's attached to your head.

"The Chrome Dome Comfort Zone:" Your bald head is the ultimate comfort zone, offering a cozy perch for anyone seeking refuge from the chilly winds of life. It's like wrapping yourself in a warm blanket—only with less fabric and more follicle-free fun.

"The Eggcellent Empathy Experience:" Sitting on your bald head is like receiving a warm hug from a dear friend—it's comforting, nurturing, and oddly satisfying. It's like finding the perfect spot to nestle into on a cold winter's day, except instead of a cozy armchair, it's your shiny dome.

"The Smooth Scalp Snuggle:" Your bald head is like a plush pillow for the soul, offering a soft and inviting surface for anyone seeking solace and serenity. It's like finding the perfect spot to rest your weary bones—only with less cushioning and more cranium.

Use the long form next time my guy, we only came up with even longer forms since you guys obviously need a way to express this:

The Shanghai Sprout: This twink is as fresh and vibrant as the bustling streets of Shanghai, with a youthful charm that's impossible to ignore.

The Peking Peep: Like a curious bird peeking out from its nest, this twink captures attention with its playful demeanor and irresistible allure.

The Forbidden Fortune: With a mischievous grin and a twinkle in his eye, this twink is like a hidden treasure waiting to be discovered in the depths of ancient Chinese folklore.

The Dim Sum Delight: Petite and full of flavor, this twink is a delightful treat for those craving a taste of something exotic and adventurous.

The Panda Prince: Adorable and cuddly, like a panda cub frolicking in the bamboo forests of Chengdu, this twink is sure to steal hearts wherever he goes.

There is no right person for this message. Anime sexual role play is cringe. Here's some reasons why:

The Subtitle Struggle: "Because trying to dirty talk in Japanese sounds less like seduction and more like a poorly dubbed anime—nothing ruins the mood faster than accidentally asking for a bowl of ramen mid-coitus."

The Tentacle Tangle: "Because anime sexual role play always seems to involve tentacles—sorry, but I draw the line at cephalopod-themed foreplay. I'm not trying to reenact a sushi buffet, thank you very much."

The Cosplay Catastrophe: "Because trying to look sexy in a full-body Pikachu costume is like trying to seduce someone while wearing a mascot uniform—sure, it's cute at first, but it's hard to maintain the illusion of 'sexy' when you're sweating profusely inside a foam suit."

The Overdramatic Dialogue: "Because anime sexual role play often involves way too much dramatic monologuing—nothing kills the mood faster than your partner reciting a soliloquy about the power of friendship mid-coitus. Can we stick to dirty talk that doesn't require subtitles, please?"

The Uncomfortable Sound Effects: "Because anime sexual role play is always accompanied by exaggerated sound effects—sorry, but I draw the line at pretending that every orgasm sounds like a squeaky toy being stepped on. It's just not realistic."

You also don't have to pay the photographer and other great reasons like these:

The Mugshot Magnetism: "Because nothing says 'bad boy/girl' like a well-framed mugshot—impress your potential dates with your undeniable charisma and undeniable criminal record!"

The Conversation Starter: "Because let's face it, there's no better icebreaker than 'So, what were you arrested for?'—skip the small talk and dive straight into the juicy details of your run-in with the law."

The Mystery Factor: "Because why settle for boring selfies when you can leave your potential dates guessing about your mysterious past? Keep them on their toes with tantalizing tales of your wild and reckless youth."

The Unforgettable Impression: "Because you only get one chance to make a first impression, so why not make it a memorable one? With your mugshot front and center, you'll be the talk of the town—and the dating app."

The Transparency Triumph: "Because honesty is the best policy, right? Show your potential dates that you've got nothing to hide by proudly displaying your mugshot—after all, if they can't handle you at your worst, they don't deserve you at your best!"

No just regular old scrap, but outside of a school scrap! Free metal is better then fighting and here's a few reasons why:

The Rusty Rumble: "Because while fights may leave you bruised and battered, scrap metal leaves you with tetanus—talk about a metal makeover!"

The Tin Tussle: "Because why throw punches when you can throw scrap metal? It's like dodgeball, but with more danger and less gym class trauma."

The Junkyard Joust: "Because in the battle of man versus metal, the real winner is whoever can lift the heaviest car door. It's like the Olympics, but with more oil stains."

The Aluminum Ambush: "Because nothing says 'I'm tough' like wielding a broken bicycle frame as a weapon. It's recycling with a side of retribution."

The Scrapyard Showdown: "Because while fights may end with bruised egos, scrap metal fights end with everyone questioning their life choices—plus, you get to keep the coolest piece of wreckage as a trophy."

Sinking in the cum what is he a pony in a jar?
Here are 5 reasons we propose to change shampoo to shampiss

"The Fizzy Feline Factor": Shampiss sounds like the kind of shampoo that would make your hair so soft and luxurious, even your cat would want to snuggle up to you! With its magical formula infused with catnip extract, you'll be the envy of felines everywhere.

"The Bubblegum Bliss Bonanza": Unlike boring old shampoo, Shampiss promises a shower experience that's sweeter than a bubblegum-flavored snow cone on a hot summer day. With each lather, you'll be transported to a whimsical world of sugary delights and pastel-colored bubbles.

"The Sparkling Shenanigans Spectacle": Shampiss isn't just a shampoo; it's a sparkling sensation that turns your shower into a disco dance party! With its glitter-infused formula and disco ball packaging, you'll be grooving to the rhythm of cleanliness in no time.

"The Luscious Lavender Lovefest": Shampiss is like a soothing hug from a field of lavender on a breezy spring day. Its calming scent and gentle formula will whisk you away to a state of relaxation so deep, you'll forget all your worries (and remember to rinse and repeat).

"The Purrfectly Punderful Product": Let's face it, Shampiss is just more fun to say than shampoo! With its playful name and pun-tastic packaging, you'll be giggling every time you reach for the bottle. Who needs boring old shampoo when you can have Shampiss?

Sometimes you don't get the answers you want. Though asking is hard and unpleasant ! What if we could tell without asking?
Here are five lighthearted and exaggerated signs someone might hate you on social media:

"The Emoji Enigma": Instead of a friendly :) or even a neutral :) , every comment they leave on your posts is accompanied by the dreaded :| emoji. It's like they have an entire arsenal of passive-aggressive emojis at their disposal, and they're not afraid to use them.

"The Unfollow Unveiling": You notice that they've unfollowed you on every social media platform, from Instagram to Twitter to LinkedIn. It's like they're trying to erase every digital trace of your existence, one click at a time.

"The Caption Conundrum": Whenever they tag you in a post or photo, the caption reads like a thinly veiled insult disguised as a compliment. "Here's me and my least favorite person in the world, having the worst time ever. #BlessedNotToBeWithThem"

"The Photo Filter Fiasco": Every time you post a selfie, they're quick to comment on how "interesting" your choice of filter is. It's like they're not even trying to hide their disdain for your duckface and puppy ears combo.

"The Hashtag Hint": They start using passive-aggressive hashtags in their own posts, like #FakeFriends, #ShadySquad, or #NotMyFave. It's like they're trying to send you a subtle message without actually having to confront you directly.