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1 year ago
Lawyers it's sad we need them
We need them to navigate the nightmarish system they created
If a child was a lawyer here's some cases they could work on
The Case of the Missing Cookie: Defending a child accused of stealing cookies from the cookie jar. The evidence is crumbly, but the stakes are high – bedtime without dessert!
The Great Toy Heist: Representing a child accused of "borrowing" toys from their sibling's room without permission. Can they plead innocent by reason of sibling rivalry?
The Playground Dispute: Mediating a dispute between two kids arguing over who gets to be the captain of the imaginary pirate ship during recess. Ahoy, mateys, it's time to negotiate a truce!
The Pet Custody Battle: Representing a child in a heated custody battle over the family pet hamster. Who gets custody of Fluffy the hamster – Mom's house or Dad's house? The stakes have never been furrier!
The Homework Rebellion: Defending a child accused of organizing a protest against homework assignments. Can they argue for shorter school days and longer playtime? It's a fight for recess rights!
If a child was a lawyer here's some cases they could work on
The Case of the Missing Cookie: Defending a child accused of stealing cookies from the cookie jar. The evidence is crumbly, but the stakes are high – bedtime without dessert!
The Great Toy Heist: Representing a child accused of "borrowing" toys from their sibling's room without permission. Can they plead innocent by reason of sibling rivalry?
The Playground Dispute: Mediating a dispute between two kids arguing over who gets to be the captain of the imaginary pirate ship during recess. Ahoy, mateys, it's time to negotiate a truce!
The Pet Custody Battle: Representing a child in a heated custody battle over the family pet hamster. Who gets custody of Fluffy the hamster – Mom's house or Dad's house? The stakes have never been furrier!
The Homework Rebellion: Defending a child accused of organizing a protest against homework assignments. Can they argue for shorter school days and longer playtime? It's a fight for recess rights!
1 year ago
1 year ago
Buy cheaper pizza
Really DO NOT finance a pizza. If that's not enough bad financial advice for you we have you covered with 5 more :
"Borrow Money to Buy Lottery Tickets": Why waste time saving up for a rainy day when you could hit the jackpot tomorrow? Take out a second mortgage, max out your credit cards, and buy as many lottery tickets as you can carry. After all, fortune favors the bold—or at least the heavily indebted.
"Invest in Pyramid Schemes": Who needs boring old index funds when you can join a pyramid scheme and get rich quick? Just recruit a few friends, sit back, and watch the money roll in. Sure, it might technically be illegal, but think of all the luxurious vacations you'll be able to afford before the SEC catches wind of your scheme.
"Live Like a Kardashian": Why bother budgeting when you can live a life of luxury like your favorite reality TV stars? Treat yourself to designer clothes, lavish vacations, and extravagant parties—all on a shoestring budget. Who needs financial stability when you have Instagram likes?
"Become a Professional Fortnite Gamer": Who says video games can't be a lucrative career? With millions of dollars up for grabs in esports tournaments, all you need is a killer Fortnite strategy and lightning-fast reflexes. Just ignore the fact that only a tiny fraction of gamers actually make it big—this time, it's different.
"Bet Your Life Savings on Red": Who needs retirement savings when you have the thrill of the roulette wheel? Head to your nearest casino, plop down your life savings on red, and let fate decide your financial future. Worst-case scenario, you end up penniless and living under a bridge—but hey, at least you'll have a good story to tell.
"Borrow Money to Buy Lottery Tickets": Why waste time saving up for a rainy day when you could hit the jackpot tomorrow? Take out a second mortgage, max out your credit cards, and buy as many lottery tickets as you can carry. After all, fortune favors the bold—or at least the heavily indebted.
"Invest in Pyramid Schemes": Who needs boring old index funds when you can join a pyramid scheme and get rich quick? Just recruit a few friends, sit back, and watch the money roll in. Sure, it might technically be illegal, but think of all the luxurious vacations you'll be able to afford before the SEC catches wind of your scheme.
"Live Like a Kardashian": Why bother budgeting when you can live a life of luxury like your favorite reality TV stars? Treat yourself to designer clothes, lavish vacations, and extravagant parties—all on a shoestring budget. Who needs financial stability when you have Instagram likes?
"Become a Professional Fortnite Gamer": Who says video games can't be a lucrative career? With millions of dollars up for grabs in esports tournaments, all you need is a killer Fortnite strategy and lightning-fast reflexes. Just ignore the fact that only a tiny fraction of gamers actually make it big—this time, it's different.
"Bet Your Life Savings on Red": Who needs retirement savings when you have the thrill of the roulette wheel? Head to your nearest casino, plop down your life savings on red, and let fate decide your financial future. Worst-case scenario, you end up penniless and living under a bridge—but hey, at least you'll have a good story to tell.
1 year ago
1 year ago
Hookers and Blow could save any social situation
They improve everything they touch. They sure saved me from my friends family and well paying job! They might save Christmas too! Hope i got the right hookers and Blow though:
"The Naughty North Pole": Santa's workshop gets a much-needed makeover when the elves trade in their toy-making tools for a wild night of debauchery with hookers and blow. Who needs sugar plums when you've got strippers and powdered snow?
"The Reindeer Rave": Forget about sleigh bells—this year, Santa's reindeer are dashing through the snow with a little extra pep in their step, courtesy of some festive party favors. With hookers on the reins and blow in their noses, they're sure to deliver Christmas cheer like never before.
"The Jolly Junkie Jamboree": When the elves accidentally mix up the naughty and nice lists, Santa's forced to improvise with a last-minute hookup with his favorite call girl and a hefty dose of holiday blow. It's a Christmas miracle—and one hell of a ride down the chimney.
"The Frosty Fiasco": When Frosty the Snowman comes to life, he's in for a wild ride as he discovers the joys of hookers and blow. With a corncob pipe in one hand and a baggie of snow in the other, he's ready to sleigh all night long.
"The Merry Madam Miracle": Mrs. Claus takes matters into her own hands when Santa gets stuck in a chimney, enlisting the help of her trusty hookers and blow to save Christmas. With a little holiday magic and a whole lot of illicit substances, they're sure to spread cheer to all the good girls and boys.
"The Naughty North Pole": Santa's workshop gets a much-needed makeover when the elves trade in their toy-making tools for a wild night of debauchery with hookers and blow. Who needs sugar plums when you've got strippers and powdered snow?
"The Reindeer Rave": Forget about sleigh bells—this year, Santa's reindeer are dashing through the snow with a little extra pep in their step, courtesy of some festive party favors. With hookers on the reins and blow in their noses, they're sure to deliver Christmas cheer like never before.
"The Jolly Junkie Jamboree": When the elves accidentally mix up the naughty and nice lists, Santa's forced to improvise with a last-minute hookup with his favorite call girl and a hefty dose of holiday blow. It's a Christmas miracle—and one hell of a ride down the chimney.
"The Frosty Fiasco": When Frosty the Snowman comes to life, he's in for a wild ride as he discovers the joys of hookers and blow. With a corncob pipe in one hand and a baggie of snow in the other, he's ready to sleigh all night long.
"The Merry Madam Miracle": Mrs. Claus takes matters into her own hands when Santa gets stuck in a chimney, enlisting the help of her trusty hookers and blow to save Christmas. With a little holiday magic and a whole lot of illicit substances, they're sure to spread cheer to all the good girls and boys.
1 year ago
1 year ago
