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1 year ago
1 year ago
1 year ago
1 year ago
Bamboozeled
A nice way to enjoy going to prom
Here are five humorous reasons why a flask might be considered better than a purse:
The "Liquid Courage" Advantage: A flask provides instant "liquid courage" for those nerve-wracking social situations, while a purse just holds your lip gloss and spare change. Who needs confidence when you've got chapstick?
The "Fashionable Functionality": A flask adds a touch of class to any outfit, turning heads with its sleek design and shiny exterior. Meanwhile, a purse just weighs you down with unnecessary clutter – who needs a wallet when you can pay with charisma?
The "Emergency Hydration" Solution: A flask is always ready to quench your thirst in a pinch, while a purse is like a black hole where water bottles go to disappear. Why carry around a gallon of H2O when you can pack a pint of party?
The "Sneaky Snack" Supremacy: A flask can double as a secret snack stash for those moments when hunger strikes, while a purse just holds boring things like granola bars and fruit snacks. Why munch on trail mix when you can sip on liquid gold?
The "Portable Party" Perk: With a flask in hand, you're always prepared to turn any dull moment into a spontaneous celebration, while a purse is like a silent spectator, quietly observing the world pass by. Who needs small talk when you've got shots?
Here are five humorous reasons why a flask might be considered better than a purse:
The "Liquid Courage" Advantage: A flask provides instant "liquid courage" for those nerve-wracking social situations, while a purse just holds your lip gloss and spare change. Who needs confidence when you've got chapstick?
The "Fashionable Functionality": A flask adds a touch of class to any outfit, turning heads with its sleek design and shiny exterior. Meanwhile, a purse just weighs you down with unnecessary clutter – who needs a wallet when you can pay with charisma?
The "Emergency Hydration" Solution: A flask is always ready to quench your thirst in a pinch, while a purse is like a black hole where water bottles go to disappear. Why carry around a gallon of H2O when you can pack a pint of party?
The "Sneaky Snack" Supremacy: A flask can double as a secret snack stash for those moments when hunger strikes, while a purse just holds boring things like granola bars and fruit snacks. Why munch on trail mix when you can sip on liquid gold?
The "Portable Party" Perk: With a flask in hand, you're always prepared to turn any dull moment into a spontaneous celebration, while a purse is like a silent spectator, quietly observing the world pass by. Who needs small talk when you've got shots?
1 year ago
Blood ghosts was a very serious ailment
Nothing a little bit of cocaine couldn't cure though!
Here are some other old timey ailments copious amounts of drugs have probably been prescribed to help with:
"Victorian Vaporspasm":
"A peculiar ailment causing sudden spasms of exaggerated fainting spells, triggered by exposure to scandalous literature or the sight of exposed ankles. Afflicted individuals are often found clutching their chests dramatically and gasping for imaginary smelling salts."
"Edwardian Equestrian Eruption":
"A condition believed to be contracted from overindulgence in horseback riding, resulting in eruptions of miniature horseshoes from the skin. Sufferers are often seen galloping about in a frenzy, leaving behind a trail of hoofprints."
"Georgian Gentry Gout":
"A disease exclusive to the aristocracy, causing an inexplicable craving for cucumber sandwiches and tea served in fine china. Symptoms include a sudden aversion to the common folk and an uncontrollable urge to speak in haughty tones."
"Regency Rumor Rash":
"An affliction characterized by a rash of outlandish rumors spreading across high society like wildfire. Sufferers find themselves at the center of scandalous tales involving secret trysts, stolen jewels, and dastardly plots, whether true or not."
"Napoleonic Noodle Nonsense":
"A bizarre disorder resulting in the uncontrollable urge to recite military strategies and issue orders to imaginary troops. Those afflicted may be found marching through the streets, brandishing makeshift swords and declaring war on unsuspecting pigeons."
Here are some other old timey ailments copious amounts of drugs have probably been prescribed to help with:
"Victorian Vaporspasm":
"A peculiar ailment causing sudden spasms of exaggerated fainting spells, triggered by exposure to scandalous literature or the sight of exposed ankles. Afflicted individuals are often found clutching their chests dramatically and gasping for imaginary smelling salts."
"Edwardian Equestrian Eruption":
"A condition believed to be contracted from overindulgence in horseback riding, resulting in eruptions of miniature horseshoes from the skin. Sufferers are often seen galloping about in a frenzy, leaving behind a trail of hoofprints."
"Georgian Gentry Gout":
"A disease exclusive to the aristocracy, causing an inexplicable craving for cucumber sandwiches and tea served in fine china. Symptoms include a sudden aversion to the common folk and an uncontrollable urge to speak in haughty tones."
"Regency Rumor Rash":
"An affliction characterized by a rash of outlandish rumors spreading across high society like wildfire. Sufferers find themselves at the center of scandalous tales involving secret trysts, stolen jewels, and dastardly plots, whether true or not."
"Napoleonic Noodle Nonsense":
"A bizarre disorder resulting in the uncontrollable urge to recite military strategies and issue orders to imaginary troops. Those afflicted may be found marching through the streets, brandishing makeshift swords and declaring war on unsuspecting pigeons."
1 year ago
1 year ago
Joe Cuckold The Super Hero
It's fine he's heard it and doesn't mind. Because I've got meme writing tenure I can come in to work high so I imagined Joe Cuckold as a superhero!
What powers would Joe Posses?
"The Compulsive Cuckoldry Conundrum": Joe Cuckold's superpower is the ability to unintentionally cuckold himself in any situation, turning even the most mundane tasks into awkward encounters. Who needs supervillains when you can have Joe inadvertently ruining his own relationships?
"The Absurd Adultery Aura": Joe Cuckold emits a mysterious aura that compels people around him to engage in ridiculous acts of infidelity, turning innocent bystanders into unwitting participants in his chaotic love triangles. Who needs mind control when you have Joe's accidental influence?
"The Spectacular Scapegoat Syndrome": Joe Cuckold has the uncanny ability to become the scapegoat for every relationship mishap within a hundred-mile radius, deflecting blame with his trademark charm and bewildered innocence. Who needs accountability when you can have Joe taking the fall?
"The Marriage Maelstrom Manipulator": Joe Cuckold can manipulate the fabric of reality to create elaborate scenarios that test the strength of even the most solid marriages, leaving couples questioning their own fidelity and sanity. Who needs reality warping when you have Joe's chaotic influence?
"The Cosmic Cuckoldry Catastrophe": Joe Cuckold possesses the power to inadvertently attract cosmic calamities that disrupt the natural order of the universe, turning cosmic balance into cosmic chaos with a single awkward glance. Who needs cosmic villains when you have Joe's cosmic mishaps?
What powers would Joe Posses?
"The Compulsive Cuckoldry Conundrum": Joe Cuckold's superpower is the ability to unintentionally cuckold himself in any situation, turning even the most mundane tasks into awkward encounters. Who needs supervillains when you can have Joe inadvertently ruining his own relationships?
"The Absurd Adultery Aura": Joe Cuckold emits a mysterious aura that compels people around him to engage in ridiculous acts of infidelity, turning innocent bystanders into unwitting participants in his chaotic love triangles. Who needs mind control when you have Joe's accidental influence?
"The Spectacular Scapegoat Syndrome": Joe Cuckold has the uncanny ability to become the scapegoat for every relationship mishap within a hundred-mile radius, deflecting blame with his trademark charm and bewildered innocence. Who needs accountability when you can have Joe taking the fall?
"The Marriage Maelstrom Manipulator": Joe Cuckold can manipulate the fabric of reality to create elaborate scenarios that test the strength of even the most solid marriages, leaving couples questioning their own fidelity and sanity. Who needs reality warping when you have Joe's chaotic influence?
"The Cosmic Cuckoldry Catastrophe": Joe Cuckold possesses the power to inadvertently attract cosmic calamities that disrupt the natural order of the universe, turning cosmic balance into cosmic chaos with a single awkward glance. Who needs cosmic villains when you have Joe's cosmic mishaps?
