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2 years ago
Comics through the ages
Which is your favorite style? Does it fit with your age? We encapsulated the spirit of this post in text because Dave the Search Engine Optimization guy is on my case about adding user value to pages so we get listed in google. Damn it Dave not my fault my major was history you pompous jerk...uhm anyway here are the jokes:
Boomers:
Why did the boomer cross the road? To get to the rotary phone on the other side, of course! Who needs smartphones when you've got a landline that never needs charging?
Gen Z:
Why did the Gen Z-er bring a ladder to the party? Because they heard it was going to be "lit" and they wanted to get on the "high" score leaderboard. Who needs party games when you can climb your way to the top?
Millennials:
Why did the millennial ghost refuse to haunt the library? Because they heard it was filled with "boo-ks" and they didn't want to be accused of cultural appropriation. Who needs ghost stories when you can have woke spirits?
Gen X:
Why did the Gen X-er refuse to join the neighborhood watch? Because they heard it involved too much "surveillance" and not enough "alternative music festivals." Who needs security when you can have grunge rock?
Boomers:
Why did the boomer cross the road? To get to the rotary phone on the other side, of course! Who needs smartphones when you've got a landline that never needs charging?
Gen Z:
Why did the Gen Z-er bring a ladder to the party? Because they heard it was going to be "lit" and they wanted to get on the "high" score leaderboard. Who needs party games when you can climb your way to the top?
Millennials:
Why did the millennial ghost refuse to haunt the library? Because they heard it was filled with "boo-ks" and they didn't want to be accused of cultural appropriation. Who needs ghost stories when you can have woke spirits?
Gen X:
Why did the Gen X-er refuse to join the neighborhood watch? Because they heard it involved too much "surveillance" and not enough "alternative music festivals." Who needs security when you can have grunge rock?
1 year ago
1 year ago
2 years ago
My brain hurts from reading this
Snakes clearly existing because they are mentioned in the bible but other dinosaurs? FAKE! All FAKE and here are 5 reasons why:
"The Big Bone Hoax": "Turns out those giant bones were just a prank pulled by prehistoric pranksters. They spent millions of years carefully crafting massive bones and burying them deep underground, just to see how gullible future scientists would be."
"The Time Travel Taboo": "Dinosaurs were actually just time travelers from the future, who got stuck in the past and decided to play along until they could find a way back home. Who needs a DeLorean when you've got a T-Rex?"
"The Hollywood Hype": "It was all a big Hollywood conspiracy to sell movie tickets. Spielberg and his cronies cooked up the idea of dinosaurs to cash in on the Jurassic Park craze—and we fell for it hook, line, and sinker."
"The Giant Lizard Cover-up": "Dinosaurs were actually just overgrown lizards who got a little too big for their britches. Turns out Mother Nature has a sense of humor, and she's not afraid to throw a few curveballs into the fossil record."
"The Museum Mayhem": "Dinosaurs were just a marketing ploy cooked up by the world's museums to boost ticket sales. After all, who wouldn't want to see a giant T-Rex skeleton? It's the ultimate tourist trap—and we've been falling for it for centuries."
"The Big Bone Hoax": "Turns out those giant bones were just a prank pulled by prehistoric pranksters. They spent millions of years carefully crafting massive bones and burying them deep underground, just to see how gullible future scientists would be."
"The Time Travel Taboo": "Dinosaurs were actually just time travelers from the future, who got stuck in the past and decided to play along until they could find a way back home. Who needs a DeLorean when you've got a T-Rex?"
"The Hollywood Hype": "It was all a big Hollywood conspiracy to sell movie tickets. Spielberg and his cronies cooked up the idea of dinosaurs to cash in on the Jurassic Park craze—and we fell for it hook, line, and sinker."
"The Giant Lizard Cover-up": "Dinosaurs were actually just overgrown lizards who got a little too big for their britches. Turns out Mother Nature has a sense of humor, and she's not afraid to throw a few curveballs into the fossil record."
"The Museum Mayhem": "Dinosaurs were just a marketing ploy cooked up by the world's museums to boost ticket sales. After all, who wouldn't want to see a giant T-Rex skeleton? It's the ultimate tourist trap—and we've been falling for it for centuries."
2 years ago
50 purse cent
Another negotiator
Maybe she never learned to spell because of one of these, here are five humorous and ridiculous reasons why you might not have learned to spell in grade school:
The Sneaky Spelling Bee Sabotage: Every time you studied for a spelling bee, your pet parrot would swoop in and mimic the wrong words, leaving you with a vocabulary full of squawks and chirps instead of proper spelling.
The Mischievous Magic Spellbook: Your attempts to study spelling were constantly thwarted by a mischievous magic spellbook that would swap out the correct spellings for ridiculous alternatives like "eleventeen" and "kangaroom."
The Dastardly Dictionary Demons: Every time you opened a dictionary to look up a word, dictionary demons would pop out and rearrange the letters, turning your innocent search for knowledge into a chaotic game of word scramble.
The Pernicious Pencil Predicament: Your pencils were secretly in cahoots with the erasers, conspiring to erase your spelling homework every time you turned your back. It was like your own personal spelling Bermuda Triangle!
The Treacherous Typewriter Tyranny: Every time you tried to practice spelling on a typewriter, the keys would rebel and type out nonsensical gibberish like "qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnm" instead of actual words. It was like a typewriter version of autocorrect gone haywire!
Maybe she never learned to spell because of one of these, here are five humorous and ridiculous reasons why you might not have learned to spell in grade school:
The Sneaky Spelling Bee Sabotage: Every time you studied for a spelling bee, your pet parrot would swoop in and mimic the wrong words, leaving you with a vocabulary full of squawks and chirps instead of proper spelling.
The Mischievous Magic Spellbook: Your attempts to study spelling were constantly thwarted by a mischievous magic spellbook that would swap out the correct spellings for ridiculous alternatives like "eleventeen" and "kangaroom."
The Dastardly Dictionary Demons: Every time you opened a dictionary to look up a word, dictionary demons would pop out and rearrange the letters, turning your innocent search for knowledge into a chaotic game of word scramble.
The Pernicious Pencil Predicament: Your pencils were secretly in cahoots with the erasers, conspiring to erase your spelling homework every time you turned your back. It was like your own personal spelling Bermuda Triangle!
The Treacherous Typewriter Tyranny: Every time you tried to practice spelling on a typewriter, the keys would rebel and type out nonsensical gibberish like "qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnm" instead of actual words. It was like a typewriter version of autocorrect gone haywire!
2 years ago
Marketplace negotiator
At least they aren't saying it appreciated in value as all dirty couches tend to do.
Ok let's sprain our marketing muscles shall we? Here are some sales pitches that will get them fighting over your racoon maternity couch!
"The Raccoon Royalty Recliner": Your new couch isn't just a piece of furniture—it's a throne fit for raccoon royalty! Who wouldn't want to lounge like a monarch on a couch where generations of raccoon monarchs have been born and raised?
"The Cozy Critter Condo": With a raccoon's seal of approval, you know your couch is the epitome of comfort and coziness. It's like having a built-in heating pad and furry cuddle buddy rolled into one!
"The Rambunctious Rodent Remodel": Forget about boring old store-bought furniture—your raccoon-birthed couch is a DIY dream come true! With a few strategically placed throw pillows and a healthy dose of Febreze, it'll be like new in no time.
"The Raccoon Renovation Revolution": By investing in a raccoon-birthed couch, you're supporting the ultimate in sustainable design. Who needs fancy upholstery when you have nature's own interior decorators working overtime?
"The Prodigal Pup Pavilion": Your raccoon-birthed couch isn't just a piece of furniture—it's a time capsule of canine chaos! With every scratch mark and chewed-up cushion, it tells the story of a thousand mischievous mutts and their adventures in redecorating.
Remember, these reasons are purely for comedic effect. In reality, spending $3600 on a couch that a raccoon gave birth on might not be the best investment for your wallet or your sanity!
Ok let's sprain our marketing muscles shall we? Here are some sales pitches that will get them fighting over your racoon maternity couch!
"The Raccoon Royalty Recliner": Your new couch isn't just a piece of furniture—it's a throne fit for raccoon royalty! Who wouldn't want to lounge like a monarch on a couch where generations of raccoon monarchs have been born and raised?
"The Cozy Critter Condo": With a raccoon's seal of approval, you know your couch is the epitome of comfort and coziness. It's like having a built-in heating pad and furry cuddle buddy rolled into one!
"The Rambunctious Rodent Remodel": Forget about boring old store-bought furniture—your raccoon-birthed couch is a DIY dream come true! With a few strategically placed throw pillows and a healthy dose of Febreze, it'll be like new in no time.
"The Raccoon Renovation Revolution": By investing in a raccoon-birthed couch, you're supporting the ultimate in sustainable design. Who needs fancy upholstery when you have nature's own interior decorators working overtime?
"The Prodigal Pup Pavilion": Your raccoon-birthed couch isn't just a piece of furniture—it's a time capsule of canine chaos! With every scratch mark and chewed-up cushion, it tells the story of a thousand mischievous mutts and their adventures in redecorating.
Remember, these reasons are purely for comedic effect. In reality, spending $3600 on a couch that a raccoon gave birth on might not be the best investment for your wallet or your sanity!
1 year ago
