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Cat
9 months ago

Batman couldn't get that out of me

He advertised it though! Here's a few suppositions about ol' Benny's sex life:

The Diminutive Dismay: "Because Ben Shapiro's bedroom prowess is as underwhelming as his stature—rumor has it his wife needs a microscope to find where he's hiding his 'facts.'"

The Libertarian Lament: "Because Ben Shapiro's sex life is about as liberated as his political ideology—let's just say it's more 'small government' than 'big finish.'"

The Conservative Cuddle: "Because Ben Shapiro's idea of 'aftercare' is handing his wife a copy of 'The Constitution' and a signed headshot—nothing says 'post-coital bliss' like a lecture on individual rights."

The Right-Wing Reject: "Because Ben Shapiro's bedroom antics are about as exciting as a congressional filibuster—his wife's orgasms are just like his speeches: short, unsatisfying, and leaving you wondering if anything actually happened."

The Neocon No-Show: "Because Ben Shapiro's sexual performance is like his political commentary—aggressive, overbearing, and leaving everyone involved desperately longing for something a bit more progressive."

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