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2 years ago
This restaurant doesn't take criticism well
By any means don't improve your business and just go bankrupt.
Such restaurants love to live by these brilliant tenants of exceptional business practice
"Mediocrity is the Spice of Life":
"Why strive for excellence when you can revel in mediocrity? Embrace the blandness – it's like a culinary comfort zone where every dish tastes just okay."
"Consistency? What's That?":
"Who needs consistency when you can keep customers on their toes? One day it's gourmet cuisine, the next it's mystery meat surprise – it's like playing restaurant roulette!"
"Innovation is Overrated":
"Why bother with innovation when you can stick to the classics? Who needs avocado toast when you have good ol' toast? Keep it simple – it's the menu equivalent of comfort food."
"The Quest for Quest-ionable Hygiene":
"Who needs a spotless kitchen when you can add a dash of danger to every meal? Embrace the chaos – it's like an adventure for your taste buds, with a side of food poisoning!"
"Customer Feedback? More Like Customer Fleedback!":
"Why listen to customer feedback when you can march to the beat of your own drumstick? Ignore those pesky suggestions – it's like a culinary rebellion, with extra sauce on the side."
Such restaurants love to live by these brilliant tenants of exceptional business practice
"Mediocrity is the Spice of Life":
"Why strive for excellence when you can revel in mediocrity? Embrace the blandness – it's like a culinary comfort zone where every dish tastes just okay."
"Consistency? What's That?":
"Who needs consistency when you can keep customers on their toes? One day it's gourmet cuisine, the next it's mystery meat surprise – it's like playing restaurant roulette!"
"Innovation is Overrated":
"Why bother with innovation when you can stick to the classics? Who needs avocado toast when you have good ol' toast? Keep it simple – it's the menu equivalent of comfort food."
"The Quest for Quest-ionable Hygiene":
"Who needs a spotless kitchen when you can add a dash of danger to every meal? Embrace the chaos – it's like an adventure for your taste buds, with a side of food poisoning!"
"Customer Feedback? More Like Customer Fleedback!":
"Why listen to customer feedback when you can march to the beat of your own drumstick? Ignore those pesky suggestions – it's like a culinary rebellion, with extra sauce on the side."
2 years ago
Chris Chan Moment
Awkward and unwholesome...that ass though and I can say it we're not related. Complimenting your mothers ass is just awkward so have some reasons (ifyou even need any) not to do it:
"The Oedipal Odyssey": Complimenting your mother's awesome ass is like stepping into a Freudian nightmare. It's not just awkward; it's a one-way ticket to years of therapy and unresolved mommy issues. Best to keep those compliments strictly above the waist.
"The Maternal Mix-Up": Complimenting your mother's awesome ass is like accidentally texting your ex "I miss you" instead of your new crush. It's a cringe-worthy mistake that'll haunt you for years to come—and probably end up in a family therapy session or two.
"The Freudian Slip-Up": Complimenting your mother's awesome ass is like playing Russian roulette with your relationship. One wrong move and you'll find yourself in a conversation so uncomfortable, even the family dog will start to squirm. It's best to keep the compliments platonic and the boundaries intact.
"The Freudian Foot-in-Mouth": Complimenting your mother's awesome ass is like putting your foot in your mouth—except instead of foot odor, it's the stench of awkwardness that lingers in the air. It's a social faux pas of epic proportions, destined to become the stuff of family legend.
"The Oedipal Oopsie-Daisy": Complimenting your mother's awesome ass is like accidentally calling your teacher "mom" in front of the whole class. It's a cringe-worthy moment that'll live on in family lore for generations to come—and probably earn you a spot on the therapist's couch.
"The Oedipal Odyssey": Complimenting your mother's awesome ass is like stepping into a Freudian nightmare. It's not just awkward; it's a one-way ticket to years of therapy and unresolved mommy issues. Best to keep those compliments strictly above the waist.
"The Maternal Mix-Up": Complimenting your mother's awesome ass is like accidentally texting your ex "I miss you" instead of your new crush. It's a cringe-worthy mistake that'll haunt you for years to come—and probably end up in a family therapy session or two.
"The Freudian Slip-Up": Complimenting your mother's awesome ass is like playing Russian roulette with your relationship. One wrong move and you'll find yourself in a conversation so uncomfortable, even the family dog will start to squirm. It's best to keep the compliments platonic and the boundaries intact.
"The Freudian Foot-in-Mouth": Complimenting your mother's awesome ass is like putting your foot in your mouth—except instead of foot odor, it's the stench of awkwardness that lingers in the air. It's a social faux pas of epic proportions, destined to become the stuff of family legend.
"The Oedipal Oopsie-Daisy": Complimenting your mother's awesome ass is like accidentally calling your teacher "mom" in front of the whole class. It's a cringe-worthy moment that'll live on in family lore for generations to come—and probably earn you a spot on the therapist's couch.
2 years ago
My buddy wrote this article
Just like me he is possibly not a cat but you can't prove anything
Other articles on that website:
"5 Reasons Why You Should Spend More Time in Cardboard Boxes"
Reasons include promoting creativity, reducing stress levels, and improving posture. But we all know the real reason – it's the ultimate kitty hideout!
"The Benefits of Sunbathing: Why You Should Soak Up Those Rays Every Day"
Articles touts Vitamin D production, mood enhancement, and skin health. But let's face it – cats just love basking in those warm sunbeams!
"The Joy of Napping: How Regular Rest Can Transform Your Life"
Highlights include increased productivity, improved memory, and reduced risk of heart disease. But we all know the real reason – it's the purr-fect excuse for a catnap!
"The Zen of Watching Birds: Finding Peace and Tranquility in Nature"
Explains the benefits of birdwatching for mental health, stress relief, and mindfulness. But for cats, it's just another opportunity for some prime window sill entertainment!
"The Art of Stretching: Why You Should Incorporate Daily Flexibility Exercises"
Extols the virtues of stretching for muscle health, flexibility, and injury prevention. But for cats, it's all about maintaining their impressive agility for impromptu zoomies and graceful leaps!
Other articles on that website:
"5 Reasons Why You Should Spend More Time in Cardboard Boxes"
Reasons include promoting creativity, reducing stress levels, and improving posture. But we all know the real reason – it's the ultimate kitty hideout!
"The Benefits of Sunbathing: Why You Should Soak Up Those Rays Every Day"
Articles touts Vitamin D production, mood enhancement, and skin health. But let's face it – cats just love basking in those warm sunbeams!
"The Joy of Napping: How Regular Rest Can Transform Your Life"
Highlights include increased productivity, improved memory, and reduced risk of heart disease. But we all know the real reason – it's the purr-fect excuse for a catnap!
"The Zen of Watching Birds: Finding Peace and Tranquility in Nature"
Explains the benefits of birdwatching for mental health, stress relief, and mindfulness. But for cats, it's just another opportunity for some prime window sill entertainment!
"The Art of Stretching: Why You Should Incorporate Daily Flexibility Exercises"
Extols the virtues of stretching for muscle health, flexibility, and injury prevention. But for cats, it's all about maintaining their impressive agility for impromptu zoomies and graceful leaps!
2 years ago
Awesome compliment
Just don't burst his bubble.
Here are five humorous reasons why your husband might be happy to get catcalled:
"The Ego Boosting Feline Flattery": Every time he gets catcalled, it's like a little ego massage for his self-esteem. Who needs compliments from strangers when you can have construction workers shouting appreciative remarks about your hubby's fashion choices?
"The Catwalk Confidence": Getting catcalled is like strutting down the runway of life with confidence and style. It's the ultimate validation that your husband's got it going on, and the world can't help but take notice of his fabulousness.
"The Street-Side Serenade": Instead of feeling harassed, your husband sees catcalling as a quirky form of urban karaoke. Every whistle, honk, and "Hey there, handsome!" is just another verse in the symphony of city life, and he's the star of the show.
"The Flirtatious Fish in a Sea of Compliments": Catcalling is like being a fish in a sea of compliments, and your husband is swimming laps in the compliments pool. With every wolf whistle and suggestive remark, he's reeling in the flattery and basking in the attention.
"The Comedic Catcall Conundrum": Instead of taking catcalling seriously, your husband sees it as a comedy routine performed by amateur comedians with questionable taste. Every crude remark is like a punchline waiting for the perfect comeback, and your husband is the king of quick wit.
Here are five humorous reasons why your husband might be happy to get catcalled:
"The Ego Boosting Feline Flattery": Every time he gets catcalled, it's like a little ego massage for his self-esteem. Who needs compliments from strangers when you can have construction workers shouting appreciative remarks about your hubby's fashion choices?
"The Catwalk Confidence": Getting catcalled is like strutting down the runway of life with confidence and style. It's the ultimate validation that your husband's got it going on, and the world can't help but take notice of his fabulousness.
"The Street-Side Serenade": Instead of feeling harassed, your husband sees catcalling as a quirky form of urban karaoke. Every whistle, honk, and "Hey there, handsome!" is just another verse in the symphony of city life, and he's the star of the show.
"The Flirtatious Fish in a Sea of Compliments": Catcalling is like being a fish in a sea of compliments, and your husband is swimming laps in the compliments pool. With every wolf whistle and suggestive remark, he's reeling in the flattery and basking in the attention.
"The Comedic Catcall Conundrum": Instead of taking catcalling seriously, your husband sees it as a comedy routine performed by amateur comedians with questionable taste. Every crude remark is like a punchline waiting for the perfect comeback, and your husband is the king of quick wit.
2 years ago
Return to Monke
Hell yeah! That's the only response to seeing this. Not gender specific mind you. Everyone should say Hell yeah and here's a few reasons why:
"The Primate Party Starter": "Seeing a monkey rocking shades is like nature's way of saying, 'Let the party begin!' It's impossible not to respond with a resounding 'Hell yeah' when you're faced with such undeniable swagger. Who knew our simian friends were such trendsetters?"
"The Coolness Quotient Quadrupled": "When a monkey throws on a pair of sunglasses, it's like they've unlocked a whole new level of coolness. Suddenly, they go from ordinary primate to the James Bond of the jungle, and you can't help but cheer them on with a hearty 'Hell yeah!'"
"The Simian Style Statement": "Monkeys in sunglasses are the epitome of effortless style. Whether they're lounging in the sun or swinging through the trees, they exude a level of cool that's impossible to ignore. It's like they're saying, 'I may be a monkey, but I'm also a fashion icon,' and you can't help but agree with a loud 'Hell yeah!'"
"The Primate Pizzazz Parade": "Let's face it, monkeys wearing sunglasses are just plain funny. There's something inherently hilarious about seeing our furry friends embrace their inner fashionista, and you can't help but join in the fun with a raucous 'Hell yeah!'"
"The Ape-tastic Attitude Adjustment": "In a world full of chaos and uncertainty, sometimes all you need is a monkey in sunglasses to remind you that life is meant to be enjoyed. Their carefree attitude and undeniable style are infectious, prompting even the grumpiest of souls to shout 'Hell yeah!' in appreciation."
"The Primate Party Starter": "Seeing a monkey rocking shades is like nature's way of saying, 'Let the party begin!' It's impossible not to respond with a resounding 'Hell yeah' when you're faced with such undeniable swagger. Who knew our simian friends were such trendsetters?"
"The Coolness Quotient Quadrupled": "When a monkey throws on a pair of sunglasses, it's like they've unlocked a whole new level of coolness. Suddenly, they go from ordinary primate to the James Bond of the jungle, and you can't help but cheer them on with a hearty 'Hell yeah!'"
"The Simian Style Statement": "Monkeys in sunglasses are the epitome of effortless style. Whether they're lounging in the sun or swinging through the trees, they exude a level of cool that's impossible to ignore. It's like they're saying, 'I may be a monkey, but I'm also a fashion icon,' and you can't help but agree with a loud 'Hell yeah!'"
"The Primate Pizzazz Parade": "Let's face it, monkeys wearing sunglasses are just plain funny. There's something inherently hilarious about seeing our furry friends embrace their inner fashionista, and you can't help but join in the fun with a raucous 'Hell yeah!'"
"The Ape-tastic Attitude Adjustment": "In a world full of chaos and uncertainty, sometimes all you need is a monkey in sunglasses to remind you that life is meant to be enjoyed. Their carefree attitude and undeniable style are infectious, prompting even the grumpiest of souls to shout 'Hell yeah!' in appreciation."
2 years ago
Brilliant advice
Even a broken clock is right twice per day. If you're an immoral sociopath here are some funny ways to have memorable sex:
The "Snake Charmer" Technique: Convince your partner that playing a game of "truth or dare" is the ultimate foreplay. Just make sure all the dares involve various forms of bedroom activities, and watch as the game escalates into a wild night of passion.
The "Emotional Manipulation" Method: Pretend to be a character from a romantic novel or movie, complete with melodramatic speeches and intense declarations of love. Your partner won't know whether to swoon or laugh, but either way, it's sure to be a memorable experience.
The "Reverse Psychology" Strategy: Tell your partner that you're not interested in sex at all and watch as they try to seduce you with increasingly creative tactics. Little do they know, you're secretly enjoying the game of cat and mouse.
The "Psychological Warfare" Approach: Use psychological tricks to mess with your partner's mind during intimate moments. From strategically placed mirrors to whispered compliments followed by insults, you'll keep them on their toes and wondering what's coming next.
The "Gaslighting" Gambit: Convince your partner that they're actually the one who initiated every sexual encounter, even when it's blatantly obvious that you're the one in control. It's like rewriting history, but with a kinky twist.
The "Snake Charmer" Technique: Convince your partner that playing a game of "truth or dare" is the ultimate foreplay. Just make sure all the dares involve various forms of bedroom activities, and watch as the game escalates into a wild night of passion.
The "Emotional Manipulation" Method: Pretend to be a character from a romantic novel or movie, complete with melodramatic speeches and intense declarations of love. Your partner won't know whether to swoon or laugh, but either way, it's sure to be a memorable experience.
The "Reverse Psychology" Strategy: Tell your partner that you're not interested in sex at all and watch as they try to seduce you with increasingly creative tactics. Little do they know, you're secretly enjoying the game of cat and mouse.
The "Psychological Warfare" Approach: Use psychological tricks to mess with your partner's mind during intimate moments. From strategically placed mirrors to whispered compliments followed by insults, you'll keep them on their toes and wondering what's coming next.
The "Gaslighting" Gambit: Convince your partner that they're actually the one who initiated every sexual encounter, even when it's blatantly obvious that you're the one in control. It's like rewriting history, but with a kinky twist.
2 years ago
