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2 years ago
2 years ago
How to deal with unsolicited flirting
Pretty cheap for real rent, really expensive for digital rent. A great idea though, maybe unsolicited DM senders should pay rent! Here's 5 fun reasons why:
"The DM Landlord": Just like any landlord, you should be compensated for letting people move into your DMs. After all, you're providing prime real estate in the digital world—it's only fair that they chip in for the privilege!
"The Inbox Intrusion Fee": Think of it as an inbox intrusion fee. Every time someone slides into your DMs uninvited, they're essentially trespassing on your digital property. Charging rent is just a way to recoup the costs of dealing with their unsolicited messages.
"The Message Maintenance Tax": Maintaining your DMs takes time and effort. From sorting through spam to dealing with unwanted advances, it's a thankless task. Charging rent is a way to compensate for the emotional labor of managing your inbox.
"The Spam Surcharge": Unsolicited DMs are the digital equivalent of junk mail. Just like you wouldn't let someone dump their trash in your living room for free, you shouldn't have to deal with their digital garbage without compensation. Charging rent is a way to discourage spam and keep your DMs clean.
"The Privacy Protection Payment": Your DMs are your private digital sanctuary, and letting someone slide into them uninvited is like letting a stranger crash on your couch without asking. Charging rent is a way to assert your digital boundaries and protect your privacy. After all, if they want access to your DMs, they should be willing to pay for the privilege!
"The DM Landlord": Just like any landlord, you should be compensated for letting people move into your DMs. After all, you're providing prime real estate in the digital world—it's only fair that they chip in for the privilege!
"The Inbox Intrusion Fee": Think of it as an inbox intrusion fee. Every time someone slides into your DMs uninvited, they're essentially trespassing on your digital property. Charging rent is just a way to recoup the costs of dealing with their unsolicited messages.
"The Message Maintenance Tax": Maintaining your DMs takes time and effort. From sorting through spam to dealing with unwanted advances, it's a thankless task. Charging rent is a way to compensate for the emotional labor of managing your inbox.
"The Spam Surcharge": Unsolicited DMs are the digital equivalent of junk mail. Just like you wouldn't let someone dump their trash in your living room for free, you shouldn't have to deal with their digital garbage without compensation. Charging rent is a way to discourage spam and keep your DMs clean.
"The Privacy Protection Payment": Your DMs are your private digital sanctuary, and letting someone slide into them uninvited is like letting a stranger crash on your couch without asking. Charging rent is a way to assert your digital boundaries and protect your privacy. After all, if they want access to your DMs, they should be willing to pay for the privilege!
2 years ago
I think I'm Intellifuck
Since I'm so clever, I've never been told. gas station boner pills are a cornerstone of society though we know many reasons why people should buy them, here's 5 :
"Pump Up the Volume": Forget about turning up the stereo—take a gas station boner pill and you'll be turning up the volume on more than just your music. Get ready to rock out with your... well, you know.
"Instant Party Starter": Need to liven up a dull gathering? Forget about party favors and balloons—bring along some gas station boner pills instead. With their guaranteed performance-enhancing effects, you'll be the life of the party in more ways than one.
"Amp Up Your Morning Commute": Who needs caffeine when you can kickstart your day with a gas station boner pill? Just pop one before your morning commute and you'll be wide awake and raring to go—whether you're stuck in traffic or sitting through yet another boring meeting.
"The Ultimate Pick-Me-Up": Feeling down in the dumps? Forget about therapy and self-help books—take a gas station boner pill and you'll be feeling up in no time. With their mood-boosting properties, these little blue wonders are the ultimate pick-me-up for whatever life throws your way.
"For Those Hard-to-Reach Places": Need to scratch that itch in those hard-to-reach places? Look no further than a gas station boner pill. With their impressive length and girth, they're the perfect tool for reaching those pesky spots you just can't seem to get to on your own.
"Pump Up the Volume": Forget about turning up the stereo—take a gas station boner pill and you'll be turning up the volume on more than just your music. Get ready to rock out with your... well, you know.
"Instant Party Starter": Need to liven up a dull gathering? Forget about party favors and balloons—bring along some gas station boner pills instead. With their guaranteed performance-enhancing effects, you'll be the life of the party in more ways than one.
"Amp Up Your Morning Commute": Who needs caffeine when you can kickstart your day with a gas station boner pill? Just pop one before your morning commute and you'll be wide awake and raring to go—whether you're stuck in traffic or sitting through yet another boring meeting.
"The Ultimate Pick-Me-Up": Feeling down in the dumps? Forget about therapy and self-help books—take a gas station boner pill and you'll be feeling up in no time. With their mood-boosting properties, these little blue wonders are the ultimate pick-me-up for whatever life throws your way.
"For Those Hard-to-Reach Places": Need to scratch that itch in those hard-to-reach places? Look no further than a gas station boner pill. With their impressive length and girth, they're the perfect tool for reaching those pesky spots you just can't seem to get to on your own.
2 years ago
2 years ago
2 years ago
Memes are their own rewards
No regrets, we can even make some undesired abstinence maxims out of this! Why not i get paid by the hour and the other thing on my to do list is fixing something called SQL and i lied about knowing that on my CV
"Meme Mastery > Matrimony: Why settle for the fleeting pleasures of physical intimacy when you can achieve eternal glory through the art of meme creation? Remember: a well-timed meme lasts forever, but a fleeting moment of passion fades like yesterday's trending hashtag.
"Dankness Over Desire: In the battle between carnal desires and comedic genius, always choose the path of the meme. After all, a truly dank meme can bring joy to millions, while a momentary dalliance brings nothing but regret and awkward post-coital conversations.
"Sarcastic Satisfaction: Why risk the awkward fumbles and disappointing endings of physical intimacy when you can bask in the sarcastic satisfaction of a perfectly crafted meme? Remember: a clever quip is worth a thousand thrusts.
"Virtual Victory: In the age of social distancing, virtual connections reign supreme. Embrace the digital embrace of meme culture and revel in the satisfaction of likes, shares, and retweets. Who needs physical contact when you have the validation of strangers on the internet?
"Meme Monogamy: Commit to a life of meme monogamy and forsake the fleeting pleasures of the flesh. Remember: while physical intimacy may provide temporary gratification, a well-curated meme collection is forever.
"Meme Mastery > Matrimony: Why settle for the fleeting pleasures of physical intimacy when you can achieve eternal glory through the art of meme creation? Remember: a well-timed meme lasts forever, but a fleeting moment of passion fades like yesterday's trending hashtag.
"Dankness Over Desire: In the battle between carnal desires and comedic genius, always choose the path of the meme. After all, a truly dank meme can bring joy to millions, while a momentary dalliance brings nothing but regret and awkward post-coital conversations.
"Sarcastic Satisfaction: Why risk the awkward fumbles and disappointing endings of physical intimacy when you can bask in the sarcastic satisfaction of a perfectly crafted meme? Remember: a clever quip is worth a thousand thrusts.
"Virtual Victory: In the age of social distancing, virtual connections reign supreme. Embrace the digital embrace of meme culture and revel in the satisfaction of likes, shares, and retweets. Who needs physical contact when you have the validation of strangers on the internet?
"Meme Monogamy: Commit to a life of meme monogamy and forsake the fleeting pleasures of the flesh. Remember: while physical intimacy may provide temporary gratification, a well-curated meme collection is forever.
2 years ago
