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Cat
3 months ago
Spot List
Cat
3 months ago
Burn of the century
Don't play the game if you can't handle the consequences
Burn of the century
Cat
3 months ago
Spot List
Cat
3 months ago
Cat
3 months ago
Spot List
Cat
5 months ago
What would you chose?
I'd chose infinite luck and just focus on important things like gambling
What would you chose?
Cat
5 months ago
When matchmaking does you dirty
They have cool skins though, appropriate and cool. Everybody knows that when you're winning it's all you but when losing your team is to blame. here's a few reasons why that is always unequivocally true:

"The MVP Mix-Up": You're the reason you're winning the game because of your unmatched skills and sheer brilliance on the field. But when it comes to losing, it's clearly your team's fault for not being able to keep up with your superstar performance. They should've been taking notes instead of dropping the ball—literally.

"The Lone Ranger Rant": Winning the game is all thanks to your individual prowess and unmatched talent. But when the tides turn and victory slips through your fingers, it's obviously because your team couldn't handle the pressure of playing alongside a sports legend like yourself. Next time, maybe they'll learn to step up their game.

"The Superstar Scapegoat": You're the driving force behind every win, with your unmatched athleticism and strategic brilliance leading the charge. But when it comes to losses, it's clearly your team's fault for not being able to keep up with your unmatched genius. After all, it's hard to carry the weight of the entire team on your shoulders.

"The MVP Mishap": You're the star player who single-handedly carries the team to victory with your unmatched skills and unwavering determination. But when it comes to defeat, it's obviously your team's fault for not being able to rise to your level of greatness. Next time, maybe they'll learn to pull their weight instead of dragging you down.

"The One-Man Showdown": You're the undisputed MVP of the game, with your unparalleled talent and unmatched skill leading the team to victory after victory. But when the scoreboard doesn't go your way, it's clearly your team's fault for not being able to match your level of excellence. After all, it's hard to carry the weight of the entire team on your shoulders.
When matchmaking does you dirty
Spot List
Cat
5 months ago
League of Legends
So toxic you need hazmat gear. They should hate themselves at least a little since the game is a toxic cesspit. Here's a few reasons why league of Legends players hate themselves:

"The Jungler Jitters": "They've spent so much time wandering aimlessly through the jungle that they've forgotten what it's like to see sunlight. Every missed gank is a reminder of their failed attempts at socializing with the outside world."

"The Minion Malaise": "They've been out-CS'd by their own grandmother in an ARAM match. Watching those little minions farm more efficiently than they ever could is a soul-crushing experience."

"The Baron Blues": "They've stolen Baron with a blind Lux ultimate, only to have their team flame them for 'kill stealing.' It's a classic case of 'damned if you do, damned if you don't'—and they're left wondering why they even bother."

"The Teemo Trepidation": "They've accidentally stepped on one too many Teemo shrooms and now suffer from PTSD every time they hear the sound of a mushroom popping. It's a constant reminder of their own foolishness and lack of map awareness."

"The Yasuo Yips": "They've been knocked up by one too many Yasuo ultimates and now question their life choices every time they hear 'Hasagi!' echoing in their nightmares. It's a special kind of self-loathing that only a Yasuo main can truly understand."
League of Legends
Cat
5 months ago
AAA games being "great"
70$ never bought you as little. Marketing executives disagree for some reason so we asked one that requested to stay anonymous about the game prices. Between doing cocaine and Candy the stripper he said this:

"The Value Proposition Shuffle": "Our games are priced competitively to provide maximum value to our loyal customers. Sure, they may seem a bit pricey at first glance, but when you consider the hours of entertainment and immersive gameplay they provide, it's practically a steal. And hey, who needs to eat lunch every day when you can feast on the latest gaming experience?"

"The Investment Instigation Initiative": "We believe in offering our players the best possible gaming experience at a price that won't break the bank. While some may argue that our games are on the pricier side, we like to think of them as an investment in quality entertainment. After all, what's a few extra dollars when you're investing in hours of excitement and adventure?"

"The Cost-Conscious Conundrum": "At our company, we pride ourselves on offering affordable gaming options for players of all budgets. While it's true that our games may come with a higher price tag than some of our competitors, we believe that quality should never be compromised. Besides, who needs a fancy dinner out when you can dine on the immersive storytelling and cutting-edge graphics of our latest release?"

"The Budget-Friendly Facade": "We understand that gaming can be an expensive hobby, which is why we strive to keep our prices as low as possible. While some may argue that our games are a bit on the pricey side, we like to think of them as an investment in your entertainment future. After all, who needs a rainy day fund when you can spend your hard-earned cash on the thrill of virtual adventure?"

"The Subtle Spending Signal": "Our games are designed to provide the ultimate gaming experience at a price that won't break the bank. While it's true that our prices may seem a bit steep at first glance, we believe that the value they provide more than justifies the cost. And hey, who needs to worry about saving for retirement when you can spend your golden years reliving the excitement of our latest release?"
AAA games being "great"
Spot List
Cat
5 months ago
Very true opinion
Also if buying a game doesn't mean you own it piracy should be legal, but they don't like that do they?
We asked around and the best they came up as to why you don't own your games are these 5 reasons:

"The Glitch Gremlin Gambit": The game company claims that a mischievous glitch in their system caused your purchase to disappear into the digital void. According to their official statement, your game is now residing in the same mystical realm as missing socks and misplaced car keys.

"The Quantum Ownership Quandary": In a mind-bending twist, the game company insists that the concept of ownership is a mere illusion in the quantum realm of digital downloads. Apparently, your game exists in a state of simultaneous ownership and non-ownership until someone looks at it, at which point it collapses into one or the other.

"The Pirate Paranoia Plight": The game company blames a notorious band of digital pirates for absconding with your purchase and setting sail for the high seas of copyright infringement. According to their investigation, your game is now sailing the digital ocean, accompanied by a crew of swashbuckling software smugglers.

"The Cosmic Contractual Conundrum": Unbeknownst to you, buried deep within the terms and conditions of your purchase agreement is a clause stating that the game company reserves the right to reclaim your game at any time for undisclosed reasons. They assure you it's nothing personal; it's just business... or possibly dark magic.

"The Interdimensional Intellectual Property Impasse": Due to a rift in the space-time continuum, your game has slipped into a parallel universe where the laws of copyright and ownership are entirely different. According to the game company, retrieving your game would require navigating a labyrinth of alternate realities, time loops, and bureaucratic red tape.
Very true opinion
Cat
5 months ago
Emo Nostalgia Critic
Remember when he didn't suck? Well he does now! So we imagined some one liners he'd say if he were a vampire slayer:

"Hey Dracula, you know what's better than sucking blood? Sucking at being immortal!"

"Count Chocula? More like Count...choke-ula! Bet you can't handle my stake!"

"Vampires? More like vam-pyres, am I right? They're so thirsty, they make Tinder look like a desert!"

"You think you're immortal? Well, I've got news for you, buddy! I'll stake you so hard, you'll feel it for centuries!"

"Forget stakes, I've got bad movies so steamy, they'll make even the undead blush!"
Emo Nostalgia Critic
Spot List
Cat
5 months ago
God of War is a good game though
Wish we knew if he realized after he was done lore dumping. Who knows maybe God Of War is simply better then sex? We've explored the possibly:

"No Need for Foreplay—Just Press Start": With God of War, there's no need to worry about candles, mood lighting, or romantic music—just fire up your console and press start. Who needs foreplay when you can dive straight into an epic adventure filled with gods, monsters, and epic battles?

"Multiple Endings, No Strings Attached": Unlike sex, where the ending is usually predetermined, God of War offers multiple endings and branching storylines. Whether you prefer a happy ending or a tragic one, there's something for everyone in this epic saga—no strings attached.

"You Can Skip the Pillow Talk and Go Straight to Epic Boss Fights": Who needs post-coital cuddling when you can skip straight to the adrenaline-pumping action of epic boss fights? With God of War, you can trade sweet nothings for epic showdowns with mythical creatures and vengeful gods.

"No Performance Anxiety—Just Epic Gameplay": Worried about performance anxiety ruining the mood? With God of War, there's no need to stress about your performance—just focus on mastering the game's combat mechanics and unleashing devastating combos on your enemies.

"You Can Pause for Snacks Without Ruining the Moment": Ever tried to pause sex for a snack break? It's awkward, to say the least. But with God of War, you can pause the action at any time to grab a snack, take a bathroom break, or answer the door without ruining the moment. It's the ultimate convenience for hungry gamers everywhere.
God of War is a good game though
Cat
5 months ago
Police will stop you if you try power leveling
Rats also don't re-spawn would not grind again. If it's DND level 5 those rats are dangerous and can kick your ass though. Here are 5 reasons why those rats are actually dangerous for would be adventurers :

"Masterful Subway Surfing Skills": Level 5 rats have honed their subway surfing skills to perfection, effortlessly navigating crowded trains and slippery platforms with the grace of a ninja. One wrong step, and you'll find yourself face-first on the subway floor—no fare evasion necessary.

"The Ratatouille Rebellion": Level 5 rats have formed a secret underground society known as the Ratatouille Rebellion, plotting to overthrow their human oppressors and claim the subway system as their own. One squeak of defiance, and you'll be facing a full-blown rodent uprising.

"Tail Whip of Terror": Don't be fooled by their tiny size—level 5 rats possess a powerful weapon known as the Tail Whip of Terror. With a flick of their furry appendage, they can send unsuspecting commuters flying across the platform faster than you can say "cheese."

"Rat Pack Rumble": Level 5 rats travel in packs, roaming the subway tunnels in search of unsuspecting prey. Mess with one rat, and you'll find yourself facing a swarm of furry fiends, armed with sharp teeth and beady eyes that gleam with mischief.

"The Subway Showdown": Level 5 rats have challenged you to a subway showdown—a no-holds-barred battle for control of the underground domain. Armed with nothing but your wits and a flimsy metro card, you'll face off against the furry forces of rodent rebellion in the ultimate test of subway survival.
Police will stop you if you try power leveling
Spot List
Cat
5 months ago
Get corrected
Twitter adds context
Here are five humorous reasons why weather might cancel a sporting event:

Rain Delay Due to "Liquid Sunshine": The forecast calls for a heavy downpour of "liquid sunshine," making it impossible for players to distinguish between the ball and the tears of the weather gods.

Snowball Fight Breaks Out on the Field: A freak blizzard sweeps through, turning the stadium into a winter wonderland and prompting players to abandon their sports equipment in favor of snowball fights and impromptu snowman-building contests.

Wind Gusts Carry Players Away Like Kites: Unpredictable gusts of wind transform the playing field into a makeshift kite-flying zone, with players and referees soaring through the air like human kites. It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's the star quarterback!

Fog Rolls In, Players Vanish into Thin Air: A dense fog descends upon the stadium, shrouding the playing field in a thick veil of mist and causing players to vanish into thin air. Referees blow their whistles in vain, unable to locate the elusive athletes amidst the foggy chaos.

Heat Wave Turns Players into Puddles: Sweltering temperatures transform the playing field into a giant frying pan, causing players to melt like popsicles on a summer day. Fans watch in disbelief as their favorite athletes drip and droop like soggy pancakes, prompting a hasty retreat to the nearest ice cream stand.
Get corrected
Cat
5 months ago
Got caught In Hearts of Iron IV
Gamers have the best jokes, though if it wasn't a joke here are five humorous reasons to play Hearts of Iron IV with your gay lover:

Bonding Over Blitzkriegs: What better way to strengthen your relationship than by plotting military strategies together? Hearts of Iron IV offers the perfect opportunity to bond over your shared love of history and tactical warfare. Plus, nothing says romance like conquering the world together, one virtual battlefield at a time.

Competitive Cuddle Sessions: Forget cozy nights in front of the fireplace—Hearts of Iron IV turns cuddling into a competitive sport! As you vie for dominance on the global stage, you'll find yourselves locked in intense cuddle battles, each trying to out-snuggle the other in the ultimate display of affection.

Dramatic Diplomatic Drama: Get ready for a rollercoaster ride of diplomatic drama as you navigate the treacherous waters of international relations. From forging alliances to backstabbing former allies, Hearts of Iron IV offers endless opportunities for political intrigue and romantic intrigue alike.

Fashion Forward Fascism: Unleash your inner fashionista as you deck out your favorite dictators in the latest military chic couture. From stylish uniforms to fabulous fascinators, Hearts of Iron IV lets you channel your inner fashion mogul while conquering the world in style.

Strategic Seduction: Who needs candlelit dinners when you can woo your lover with cunning military maneuvers and strategic genius? Hearts of Iron IV turns seduction into a high-stakes game of cat and mouse, where victory on the battlefield is only surpassed by victory in the bedroom.
Got caught In Hearts of Iron IV
Spot List
Cat
5 months ago
Obey the law
Even in a game called grand theft auto
Who knows? It might be fun! Maybe there's something to this madness:

"The Virtue of Virtual Virtuosity": In a game where stealing cars and evading police are the norm, sticking to the speed limit and using your blinker is a rebellious act of digital virtue. It's like being a saint in a den of thieves, except with more explosions.

"The Sublime Subversion": Nothing subverts expectations quite like following the rules in a game designed for chaos. It's like bringing a cucumber sandwich to a gunfight—a delightful twist that leaves everyone scratching their heads.

"The Serenity of Signal Singularity": Using your turn signal in Grand Theft Auto is a declaration of defiance against the anarchy of the digital streets. It's a small gesture with big implications: a beacon of order in a sea of virtual madness.

"The Irony of Obedient Outlaws": Embracing traffic laws in Grand Theft Auto is the ultimate irony—an act of rebellion disguised as conformity. It's like wearing a three-piece suit to a punk rock concert: unexpected, absurd, and undeniably entertaining.

"The Joy of Juxtaposition": In a world where chaos reigns supreme, embracing order is a form of rebellion in itself. It's like wearing a monocle in a mosh pit or reciting Shakespeare in a street brawl—a delightful clash of opposites that defies expectations and delights the senses.
Obey the law
Cat
5 months ago
Little banter with EA
Could this teach them that making good games is a good idea? Here EA you can have these ideas since your games are so good recently "Office Chaos Simulator": Play as an office worker navigating through mundane tasks like filing paperwork, fixing the printer, and attending endless meetings.

The goal? Survive the workday without succumbing to boredom-induced madness! "Toast Simulator 3000": Experience the thrill of being a slice of bread in a toaster. Your mission? Get toasted evenly without burning or getting stuck.

Bonus points for landing butter-side up! "Traffic Jam Tycoon": Build and manage your own gridlocked city! Strategically place traffic lights, roadblocks, and potholes to ensure maximum congestion. Can you frustrate enough virtual commuters to become the ultimate traffic jam tycoon? "Zombie Accountant Apocalypse": Play as a zombie accountant roaming the streets in search of spreadsheets to devour.

Watch out for rival zombie lawyers and auditors out to steal your clients' brains! "Extreme Lawn Mowing Championship": Race against the clock to mow lawns in the most absurd and dangerous locations imaginable – from erupting volcanoes to outer space. Just be careful not to run over any garden gnomes!
Little banter with EA
Spot List
Cat
5 months ago
AI has some weird ideas about this game
Why the smoking though?
Kids simply shouldn't smoke here are some reasons why

The "Bubble Trouble" Dilemma:
Kids who smoke might accidentally blow bubbles instead of smoke rings, leading to confused looks and questions about whether they're auditioning for the role of the big bad wolf. Puffing and puffing, but no houses are blowing down!

The "Coughing Concerto" Catastrophe:
Instead of impressing their friends with their cool factor, kids who smoke end up giving impromptu coughing concerts that rival a symphony orchestra. Move over, Beethoven – there's a new maestro in town, and they're hacking up a storm!

The "Stinky Situation" Silliness:
Kids who smoke quickly discover that smelling like an ashtray isn't exactly a chick magnet or a dude magnet – it's more like a "get away from me with your smoky stench" magnet. Looks like the only thing smoking is their social life!

The "Dragon Breath" Drama:
Instead of breathing fire like a majestic dragon, kids who smoke end up with breath that could wilt flowers and make puppies cry. It's like they're trying to channel their inner dragon, but all they're summoning is bad breath and regret!

The "Money Pit" Mayhem:
Kids who smoke quickly realize that feeding their smoking habit drains their piggy bank faster than a hungry hippo at an all-you-can-eat buffet. It's like they're burning money faster than they're burning through cigarettes – talk about a costly habit!
AI has some weird ideas about this game
Cat
5 months ago
Emergency sevices are sick of her bullshit
Nurse Joy's hate her and know her by name
They provided a pretty good list of why Pokeballs make bad sex toys

"Gotta Catch 'Em All... Except There!":
"Pokeballs are great for catching Pokemon, but trying to catch something else might result in a painful 'wild encounter.' Let's just say Pikachu wouldn't be the only one feeling electric shocks!"

"Not So Pocket-Sized Pleasure":
"While pokeballs are conveniently palm-sized, they're not exactly ergonomic for intimate use. Plus, that button in the center? Let's just say pressing it might result in more than you bargained for!"

"Unintended Evolution":
"Ever heard of 'evolution stones'? Well, using a pokeball as a sex toy might lead to an unintended evolution of your anatomy – and not in a way that Professor Oak would approve of!"

"Catch and Release... With Caution":
"Sure, pokeballs are great for catching Pokemon and releasing them later, but trying to 'release' yourself from a pokeball might involve a trip to the emergency room – or worse, Nurse Joy!"

"Not So Legendary Performance":
"While pokeballs are legendary for catching legendary Pokemon, they're not exactly built for legendary performance in the bedroom. Stick to using them for catching Charmander, not... other fiery encounters!"
Emergency sevices are sick of her bullshit

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