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2 years ago
2 years ago
Revenge for overdraft charges
Only a sicko could punish you for being broke.
I dislike bank business practices as most people who are broke. Here's some reasons why banks suck.
They make money disappear faster than a magician: You deposit your paycheck and suddenly, poof! It's gone, thanks to fees, charges, and mysterious deductions.
They have ATMs that seem to be in a witness protection program: You're in the middle of nowhere, desperately needing cash, and there's not a bank ATM in sight. But hey, at least you found Bigfoot.
They want to make sure you don’t enjoy saving: "Congratulations on saving money! Here's 0.01% interest to reward your frugality. You could buy a stick of gum in a decade!"
Their customer service is about as helpful as a chocolate teapot: You call with a problem, wait on hold for eternity, only to be told you need to visit a branch during banking hours, which are conveniently the exact same hours you work.
They give loans to people who clearly don't need them: Billionaires get preferential treatment while you, a mere mortal, have to jump through hoops for a small loan. It's like a reverse Robin Hood situation.
I dislike bank business practices as most people who are broke. Here's some reasons why banks suck.
They make money disappear faster than a magician: You deposit your paycheck and suddenly, poof! It's gone, thanks to fees, charges, and mysterious deductions.
They have ATMs that seem to be in a witness protection program: You're in the middle of nowhere, desperately needing cash, and there's not a bank ATM in sight. But hey, at least you found Bigfoot.
They want to make sure you don’t enjoy saving: "Congratulations on saving money! Here's 0.01% interest to reward your frugality. You could buy a stick of gum in a decade!"
Their customer service is about as helpful as a chocolate teapot: You call with a problem, wait on hold for eternity, only to be told you need to visit a branch during banking hours, which are conveniently the exact same hours you work.
They give loans to people who clearly don't need them: Billionaires get preferential treatment while you, a mere mortal, have to jump through hoops for a small loan. It's like a reverse Robin Hood situation.
2 years ago
Shampiss the thirst quencher
Sinking in the cum what is he a pony in a jar?
Here are 5 reasons we propose to change shampoo to shampiss
"The Fizzy Feline Factor": Shampiss sounds like the kind of shampoo that would make your hair so soft and luxurious, even your cat would want to snuggle up to you! With its magical formula infused with catnip extract, you'll be the envy of felines everywhere.
"The Bubblegum Bliss Bonanza": Unlike boring old shampoo, Shampiss promises a shower experience that's sweeter than a bubblegum-flavored snow cone on a hot summer day. With each lather, you'll be transported to a whimsical world of sugary delights and pastel-colored bubbles.
"The Sparkling Shenanigans Spectacle": Shampiss isn't just a shampoo; it's a sparkling sensation that turns your shower into a disco dance party! With its glitter-infused formula and disco ball packaging, you'll be grooving to the rhythm of cleanliness in no time.
"The Luscious Lavender Lovefest": Shampiss is like a soothing hug from a field of lavender on a breezy spring day. Its calming scent and gentle formula will whisk you away to a state of relaxation so deep, you'll forget all your worries (and remember to rinse and repeat).
"The Purrfectly Punderful Product": Let's face it, Shampiss is just more fun to say than shampoo! With its playful name and pun-tastic packaging, you'll be giggling every time you reach for the bottle. Who needs boring old shampoo when you can have Shampiss?
Here are 5 reasons we propose to change shampoo to shampiss
"The Fizzy Feline Factor": Shampiss sounds like the kind of shampoo that would make your hair so soft and luxurious, even your cat would want to snuggle up to you! With its magical formula infused with catnip extract, you'll be the envy of felines everywhere.
"The Bubblegum Bliss Bonanza": Unlike boring old shampoo, Shampiss promises a shower experience that's sweeter than a bubblegum-flavored snow cone on a hot summer day. With each lather, you'll be transported to a whimsical world of sugary delights and pastel-colored bubbles.
"The Sparkling Shenanigans Spectacle": Shampiss isn't just a shampoo; it's a sparkling sensation that turns your shower into a disco dance party! With its glitter-infused formula and disco ball packaging, you'll be grooving to the rhythm of cleanliness in no time.
"The Luscious Lavender Lovefest": Shampiss is like a soothing hug from a field of lavender on a breezy spring day. Its calming scent and gentle formula will whisk you away to a state of relaxation so deep, you'll forget all your worries (and remember to rinse and repeat).
"The Purrfectly Punderful Product": Let's face it, Shampiss is just more fun to say than shampoo! With its playful name and pun-tastic packaging, you'll be giggling every time you reach for the bottle. Who needs boring old shampoo when you can have Shampiss?
2 years ago
A show i'd watch
This summer on Disney plus, the next ones are mine don't steal them I'll sue
"Magical Mixology Mayhem": Follow the misadventures of a group of teenage wizards who work part-time at a mystical cocktail bar, mixing potions by day and battling unruly customers by night. Can they keep the drinks flowing and the chaos at bay without accidentally turning anyone into a newt?
"Zombie Prom Queen Diaries": In a small town where the dead refuse to stay buried, follow the high school drama of a teenage zombie girl who's determined to win the title of prom queen – even if it means losing a limb or two along the way. Will she find true love before the big dance, or will her decomposing body be the ultimate buzzkill?
"Fairy Godmother Academy": Join a group of clumsy fairy godmothers-in-training as they bumble their way through magical mishaps and wish-granting disasters. Can they master the art of granting wishes without accidentally turning anyone's pumpkin carriage into a pumpkin pie?
"Alien Exchange Student Exchange": When a group of teenage aliens crash-land on Earth and enroll in a human high school as part of an intergalactic exchange program, hilarity ensues as they try to fit in with their human classmates while hiding their extraterrestrial identities. Will they conquer high school drama or end up dissected in biology class?
"Mystical Matchmaking Madness": Follow the adventures of a group of teenage cupids who work at a celestial matchmaking agency, pairing up star-crossed lovers with the help of magical arrows and mischievous meddling. Can they navigate the ups and downs of teenage romance without accidentally causing a cosmic catastrophe?
"Magical Mixology Mayhem": Follow the misadventures of a group of teenage wizards who work part-time at a mystical cocktail bar, mixing potions by day and battling unruly customers by night. Can they keep the drinks flowing and the chaos at bay without accidentally turning anyone into a newt?
"Zombie Prom Queen Diaries": In a small town where the dead refuse to stay buried, follow the high school drama of a teenage zombie girl who's determined to win the title of prom queen – even if it means losing a limb or two along the way. Will she find true love before the big dance, or will her decomposing body be the ultimate buzzkill?
"Fairy Godmother Academy": Join a group of clumsy fairy godmothers-in-training as they bumble their way through magical mishaps and wish-granting disasters. Can they master the art of granting wishes without accidentally turning anyone's pumpkin carriage into a pumpkin pie?
"Alien Exchange Student Exchange": When a group of teenage aliens crash-land on Earth and enroll in a human high school as part of an intergalactic exchange program, hilarity ensues as they try to fit in with their human classmates while hiding their extraterrestrial identities. Will they conquer high school drama or end up dissected in biology class?
"Mystical Matchmaking Madness": Follow the adventures of a group of teenage cupids who work at a celestial matchmaking agency, pairing up star-crossed lovers with the help of magical arrows and mischievous meddling. Can they navigate the ups and downs of teenage romance without accidentally causing a cosmic catastrophe?
2 years ago
2 years ago
Could have at least held the baby
Maybe she's teaching the baby how to change a tire so they can both chill next time though.
I say get the toddler to do it here are some tips on how you could manage that:
The Tire Whisperer: Convince the toddler that the tire is shy and needs gentle encouragement to come off the car. Encourage them to sweet-talk the tire with phrases like, "Come on, Mr. Tire, don't be shy! We just want to switch you out for a new friend!"
The Toy Swap: Tell the toddler that the tire is actually a giant toy wheel and needs to be swapped out for a new one. Encourage them to "trade" the old tire for a shiny new toy tire, making the task seem like a fun game.
The Tire Trotter: Turn tire changing into an Olympic event for toddlers. Create a makeshift podium and award stickers or small prizes for each step completed, like "Fastest Lug Nut Screwer" or "Best Tire Inspection."
The Storytime Switcheroo: Spin a wild tale about how the tire is actually a magical portal to another world, and changing it will transport them to a land of candy and toys. Encourage them to chant spells or wave imaginary wands as they "unlock" the tire's magic powers.
The Dance Party Pit Stop: Turn tire changing into a toddler-friendly dance party. Blast some upbeat music and encourage them to shimmy and shake as they "wiggle" the tire off the car. Bonus points for incorporating dance moves into each step of the process, like the "Twist and Tighten" or the "Spin and Secure."
I say get the toddler to do it here are some tips on how you could manage that:
The Tire Whisperer: Convince the toddler that the tire is shy and needs gentle encouragement to come off the car. Encourage them to sweet-talk the tire with phrases like, "Come on, Mr. Tire, don't be shy! We just want to switch you out for a new friend!"
The Toy Swap: Tell the toddler that the tire is actually a giant toy wheel and needs to be swapped out for a new one. Encourage them to "trade" the old tire for a shiny new toy tire, making the task seem like a fun game.
The Tire Trotter: Turn tire changing into an Olympic event for toddlers. Create a makeshift podium and award stickers or small prizes for each step completed, like "Fastest Lug Nut Screwer" or "Best Tire Inspection."
The Storytime Switcheroo: Spin a wild tale about how the tire is actually a magical portal to another world, and changing it will transport them to a land of candy and toys. Encourage them to chant spells or wave imaginary wands as they "unlock" the tire's magic powers.
The Dance Party Pit Stop: Turn tire changing into a toddler-friendly dance party. Blast some upbeat music and encourage them to shimmy and shake as they "wiggle" the tire off the car. Bonus points for incorporating dance moves into each step of the process, like the "Twist and Tighten" or the "Spin and Secure."
2 years ago
