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1 year ago
2 years ago
Smoking is not cool
It just looks cool
Here are five humorous reasons why smoking might seem cool:
The "Alien Connection": Smoking lets you communicate with extraterrestrials via smoke signals.
The "Human Chimney": Smoking turns you into a walking fog machine, perfect for dramatic entrances.
The "Nicotine Ninja": Smoking makes you a stealthy ninja, disappearing into smoke at will.
The "Confidence Cigarette": Smoking gives you a swaggering confidence, like the star of an action movie.
The "Rebel Vibe": Smoking is rebellion against the mundane, sticking it to the man one puff at a time.
Here are five humorous reasons why smoking might seem cool:
The "Alien Connection": Smoking lets you communicate with extraterrestrials via smoke signals.
The "Human Chimney": Smoking turns you into a walking fog machine, perfect for dramatic entrances.
The "Nicotine Ninja": Smoking makes you a stealthy ninja, disappearing into smoke at will.
The "Confidence Cigarette": Smoking gives you a swaggering confidence, like the star of an action movie.
The "Rebel Vibe": Smoking is rebellion against the mundane, sticking it to the man one puff at a time.
2 years ago
Drinking is fun though
Or so i'm told memes are my escapism of choice
Many regrettable things can happen when you get shitfaced such as
The "Urgent Urge":
You underestimate your bladder's rebellion after too many drinks and embark on a frantic quest for a restroom, realizing too late that it's already too little, too late.
The "Projectile Protest":
Attempting a discreet vomit session, you find yourself in the wrong spot, spraying your surroundings with an unexpected technicolor yawn.
The "Toilet Tango":
Misjudging the distance, you perform a splashdown maneuver, turning your bathroom into a splashy scene from a water park.
The "Barstool Surprise":
Seeking refuge on a barstool, you discover too late it's already occupied – by your own vomit.
The "Ink Incident":
An uncontrollable laugh leads to an unexpected vomit stream, transforming your night into a messy masterpiece.
Many regrettable things can happen when you get shitfaced such as
The "Urgent Urge":
You underestimate your bladder's rebellion after too many drinks and embark on a frantic quest for a restroom, realizing too late that it's already too little, too late.
The "Projectile Protest":
Attempting a discreet vomit session, you find yourself in the wrong spot, spraying your surroundings with an unexpected technicolor yawn.
The "Toilet Tango":
Misjudging the distance, you perform a splashdown maneuver, turning your bathroom into a splashy scene from a water park.
The "Barstool Surprise":
Seeking refuge on a barstool, you discover too late it's already occupied – by your own vomit.
The "Ink Incident":
An uncontrollable laugh leads to an unexpected vomit stream, transforming your night into a messy masterpiece.
1 year ago
2 years ago
War is bad
You heard it here first. The government might say high taxes spent for war is a good thing, here are the reasons some horrible person in power might come up with:
The Patriot's Pockets: "Because who needs a savings account when you can just dump all your hard-earned cash into the government's war chest? It's like investing in your own personal fireworks display, except the fireworks are bombs and they're exploding halfway across the world!"
The Peaceful Prosperity: "Because nothing says 'world peace' like funneling your entire paycheck into funding the next big military intervention. Who needs diplomacy when you've got drones?"
The War Tourism: "Because forget about that dream vacation to the Caribbean—why lounge on a beach when you can take a tour of a war-torn country instead? It's like backpacking through Europe, but with more bullet dodging!"
The Conflict Couture: "Because who needs designer clothes when you can wear the latest in military surplus chic? Camouflage is the new black, and nothing says 'I'm ready for combat' like cargo pants and combat boots."
The Bombshell Benefits: "Because nothing boosts the economy like a good old-fashioned arms race—just think of all the jobs created in the bomb-making industry! Who needs healthcare when you've got a bomb factory to keep you warm at night?"
The Patriot's Pockets: "Because who needs a savings account when you can just dump all your hard-earned cash into the government's war chest? It's like investing in your own personal fireworks display, except the fireworks are bombs and they're exploding halfway across the world!"
The Peaceful Prosperity: "Because nothing says 'world peace' like funneling your entire paycheck into funding the next big military intervention. Who needs diplomacy when you've got drones?"
The War Tourism: "Because forget about that dream vacation to the Caribbean—why lounge on a beach when you can take a tour of a war-torn country instead? It's like backpacking through Europe, but with more bullet dodging!"
The Conflict Couture: "Because who needs designer clothes when you can wear the latest in military surplus chic? Camouflage is the new black, and nothing says 'I'm ready for combat' like cargo pants and combat boots."
The Bombshell Benefits: "Because nothing boosts the economy like a good old-fashioned arms race—just think of all the jobs created in the bomb-making industry! Who needs healthcare when you've got a bomb factory to keep you warm at night?"
2 years ago
1 year ago
