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2 years ago
Real human conections
A rare pleasant interaction
Here are five light-hearted and humorous "nice things" a stripper might do for you:
The "Dance Dedication" Delight:
"She dedicated her latest dance routine to me, complete with a personalized twerk just for my amusement!"
The "Confetti Compassion" Comedy:
"She noticed I was feeling down, so she showered me with glitter and confetti – because nothing says 'cheer up' like a glitter bomb!"
The "Tip-Top Talent" Treat:
"She taught me some killer dance moves that I'll definitely never attempt in public – but hey, it's the thought that counts!"
The "Complimentary Compliments" Charm:
"She complimented my outfit, my hair, and my dance moves – it's like having my own personal hype squad!"
The "Selfie Souvenir" Surprise:
"She took a selfie with me and posted it on Instagram with the caption, 'Just hanging out with my biggest fan!' Who needs autographs when you have social media fame?"
Here are five light-hearted and humorous "nice things" a stripper might do for you:
The "Dance Dedication" Delight:
"She dedicated her latest dance routine to me, complete with a personalized twerk just for my amusement!"
The "Confetti Compassion" Comedy:
"She noticed I was feeling down, so she showered me with glitter and confetti – because nothing says 'cheer up' like a glitter bomb!"
The "Tip-Top Talent" Treat:
"She taught me some killer dance moves that I'll definitely never attempt in public – but hey, it's the thought that counts!"
The "Complimentary Compliments" Charm:
"She complimented my outfit, my hair, and my dance moves – it's like having my own personal hype squad!"
The "Selfie Souvenir" Surprise:
"She took a selfie with me and posted it on Instagram with the caption, 'Just hanging out with my biggest fan!' Who needs autographs when you have social media fame?"
1 year ago
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2 years ago
Just mechanic things
Blinker fluid's looking pretty low too. What other lies could a mechanic use to separate the technically challenged from their hard earned cash?
"The Turbocharged Timing Belt": "Your car's timing belt is specially designed to give it an extra boost of speed when you need it most. It's like a turbocharger for your engine! Of course, it'll cost a bit more to install, but trust me, you'll feel the difference."
"The Deluxe Diamond Oil Change": "Our premium oil change package includes a special blend of diamond-infused oil that's guaranteed to make your engine purr like a kitten. Sure, it's a bit pricier than regular oil, but think of it as an investment in your car's future."
"The High-Performance Headlight Fluid": "Did you know that your headlights need regular fluid changes to maintain their performance? Our special high-performance headlight fluid is designed to keep your lights shining bright, even on the darkest nights. It's a small price to pay for safety!"
"The Supercharged Spark Plug Service": "Upgrading to our supercharged spark plugs will give your car an extra jolt of power every time you hit the gas. Plus, they're guaranteed to last longer than regular spark plugs, so you won't have to worry about replacing them as often. It's like giving your car a caffeine boost!"
"The Titanium Tire Rotation": "Our titanium tire rotation service is the ultimate in tire care. We'll rotate your tires using specially engineered titanium tools that ensure a smoother ride and longer tire life. It's a bit more expensive than regular tire rotations, but trust me, your car will thank you for it."
"The Turbocharged Timing Belt": "Your car's timing belt is specially designed to give it an extra boost of speed when you need it most. It's like a turbocharger for your engine! Of course, it'll cost a bit more to install, but trust me, you'll feel the difference."
"The Deluxe Diamond Oil Change": "Our premium oil change package includes a special blend of diamond-infused oil that's guaranteed to make your engine purr like a kitten. Sure, it's a bit pricier than regular oil, but think of it as an investment in your car's future."
"The High-Performance Headlight Fluid": "Did you know that your headlights need regular fluid changes to maintain their performance? Our special high-performance headlight fluid is designed to keep your lights shining bright, even on the darkest nights. It's a small price to pay for safety!"
"The Supercharged Spark Plug Service": "Upgrading to our supercharged spark plugs will give your car an extra jolt of power every time you hit the gas. Plus, they're guaranteed to last longer than regular spark plugs, so you won't have to worry about replacing them as often. It's like giving your car a caffeine boost!"
"The Titanium Tire Rotation": "Our titanium tire rotation service is the ultimate in tire care. We'll rotate your tires using specially engineered titanium tools that ensure a smoother ride and longer tire life. It's a bit more expensive than regular tire rotations, but trust me, your car will thank you for it."
2 years ago
Legend in training
That's what kids should be doing for fun. Not all of them though. Just the chosen ones. The native seagull training talent. Is your kid one? Find out by watching for these signs:
"She Collects Shiny Objects": From discarded aluminum cans to glittery trinkets, your daughter's obsession with shiny objects rivals that of a magpie. It's like she's preparing her own treasure trove to attract a flock of adoring seagull fans.
"She Talks to Seagulls Like Old Friends": Instead of saying "hello" to passersby, your daughter greets seagulls with a cheerful "caw" and engages in lengthy conversations with them, as if they're long-lost friends swapping seaside tales.
"She's a Master at Seagull Impressions": Your daughter's seagull impersonations are so spot-on, they've fooled unsuspecting beachgoers into tossing her scraps of food. It's like she's channeling her inner bird whisperer to summon her feathered minions.
"Her Sandcastle Skills Are Unmatched": While other kids build sandcastles fit for royalty, your daughter constructs elaborate seagull-sized palaces complete with miniature fish ponds and tiny beach umbrellas. It's like she's creating luxury resorts for her avian companions.
"She's Always Armed with Snacks": Your daughter never leaves home without a pocketful of stale bread crusts and fishy treats, ready to entice any seagull that crosses her path. It's like she's running a mobile snack bar for her feathered friends, complete with complimentary beachside seating.
"She Collects Shiny Objects": From discarded aluminum cans to glittery trinkets, your daughter's obsession with shiny objects rivals that of a magpie. It's like she's preparing her own treasure trove to attract a flock of adoring seagull fans.
"She Talks to Seagulls Like Old Friends": Instead of saying "hello" to passersby, your daughter greets seagulls with a cheerful "caw" and engages in lengthy conversations with them, as if they're long-lost friends swapping seaside tales.
"She's a Master at Seagull Impressions": Your daughter's seagull impersonations are so spot-on, they've fooled unsuspecting beachgoers into tossing her scraps of food. It's like she's channeling her inner bird whisperer to summon her feathered minions.
"Her Sandcastle Skills Are Unmatched": While other kids build sandcastles fit for royalty, your daughter constructs elaborate seagull-sized palaces complete with miniature fish ponds and tiny beach umbrellas. It's like she's creating luxury resorts for her avian companions.
"She's Always Armed with Snacks": Your daughter never leaves home without a pocketful of stale bread crusts and fishy treats, ready to entice any seagull that crosses her path. It's like she's running a mobile snack bar for her feathered friends, complete with complimentary beachside seating.
