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1 year ago
1 year ago
1 year ago
Dating is very hard
Take the initiative girls.
If you're dealing with one of the dumbest most oblivious people alive try these techniques:
Deploy the "Flirting for Dummies" Manual: Casually slip them a copy of "Flirting for Dummies" under the guise of recommending a good read. Maybe they'll get the hint, or at the very least, they'll have some entertaining bedtime reading.
Invent a Flirting Translator App: Pretend to furiously type away on your phone whenever you're flirting with them. When they ask what you're doing, tell them you're using your new invention—a Flirting Translator App—to decode their responses. Spoiler alert: it's just the Notes app with random gibberish.
Start a Flirting with Obvious Signals Club: Enlist their unwitting participation in a pretend club where you practice "subtle" flirting techniques. Cue exaggerated winks, finger guns, and overly dramatic hair flips. Bonus points if you print out membership cards.
Stage a "Flirting Intervention": Gather their friends and family for an "intervention" where you all hilariously reenact their missed flirting opportunities. Bonus points for costumes and props—maybe a giant neon sign that says "I'm flirting with you!"
Channel Your Inner Mime: Take a page from the silent comedians and communicate your flirtatious intentions through exaggerated gestures and facial expressions. It's like playing a game of charades, but with romance instead of movie titles.
If you're dealing with one of the dumbest most oblivious people alive try these techniques:
Deploy the "Flirting for Dummies" Manual: Casually slip them a copy of "Flirting for Dummies" under the guise of recommending a good read. Maybe they'll get the hint, or at the very least, they'll have some entertaining bedtime reading.
Invent a Flirting Translator App: Pretend to furiously type away on your phone whenever you're flirting with them. When they ask what you're doing, tell them you're using your new invention—a Flirting Translator App—to decode their responses. Spoiler alert: it's just the Notes app with random gibberish.
Start a Flirting with Obvious Signals Club: Enlist their unwitting participation in a pretend club where you practice "subtle" flirting techniques. Cue exaggerated winks, finger guns, and overly dramatic hair flips. Bonus points if you print out membership cards.
Stage a "Flirting Intervention": Gather their friends and family for an "intervention" where you all hilariously reenact their missed flirting opportunities. Bonus points for costumes and props—maybe a giant neon sign that says "I'm flirting with you!"
Channel Your Inner Mime: Take a page from the silent comedians and communicate your flirtatious intentions through exaggerated gestures and facial expressions. It's like playing a game of charades, but with romance instead of movie titles.
1 year ago
1 year ago
Just mechanic things
Blinker fluid's looking pretty low too. What other lies could a mechanic use to separate the technically challenged from their hard earned cash?
"The Turbocharged Timing Belt": "Your car's timing belt is specially designed to give it an extra boost of speed when you need it most. It's like a turbocharger for your engine! Of course, it'll cost a bit more to install, but trust me, you'll feel the difference."
"The Deluxe Diamond Oil Change": "Our premium oil change package includes a special blend of diamond-infused oil that's guaranteed to make your engine purr like a kitten. Sure, it's a bit pricier than regular oil, but think of it as an investment in your car's future."
"The High-Performance Headlight Fluid": "Did you know that your headlights need regular fluid changes to maintain their performance? Our special high-performance headlight fluid is designed to keep your lights shining bright, even on the darkest nights. It's a small price to pay for safety!"
"The Supercharged Spark Plug Service": "Upgrading to our supercharged spark plugs will give your car an extra jolt of power every time you hit the gas. Plus, they're guaranteed to last longer than regular spark plugs, so you won't have to worry about replacing them as often. It's like giving your car a caffeine boost!"
"The Titanium Tire Rotation": "Our titanium tire rotation service is the ultimate in tire care. We'll rotate your tires using specially engineered titanium tools that ensure a smoother ride and longer tire life. It's a bit more expensive than regular tire rotations, but trust me, your car will thank you for it."
"The Turbocharged Timing Belt": "Your car's timing belt is specially designed to give it an extra boost of speed when you need it most. It's like a turbocharger for your engine! Of course, it'll cost a bit more to install, but trust me, you'll feel the difference."
"The Deluxe Diamond Oil Change": "Our premium oil change package includes a special blend of diamond-infused oil that's guaranteed to make your engine purr like a kitten. Sure, it's a bit pricier than regular oil, but think of it as an investment in your car's future."
"The High-Performance Headlight Fluid": "Did you know that your headlights need regular fluid changes to maintain their performance? Our special high-performance headlight fluid is designed to keep your lights shining bright, even on the darkest nights. It's a small price to pay for safety!"
"The Supercharged Spark Plug Service": "Upgrading to our supercharged spark plugs will give your car an extra jolt of power every time you hit the gas. Plus, they're guaranteed to last longer than regular spark plugs, so you won't have to worry about replacing them as often. It's like giving your car a caffeine boost!"
"The Titanium Tire Rotation": "Our titanium tire rotation service is the ultimate in tire care. We'll rotate your tires using specially engineered titanium tools that ensure a smoother ride and longer tire life. It's a bit more expensive than regular tire rotations, but trust me, your car will thank you for it."
1 year ago
Temporary potato holder
A job offer for his tremendous language skills so naturally we came up with 5 more but none can match this memes gusto for language...we ran out of glue to huff today
"Vegetable Vigilante": Take aim and launch your way to victory with this veggie-powered marvel! Whether you're warding off garden pests or staging a backyard showdown, the Vegetable Vigilante is your trusty sidekick in all things green.
"Spud Slinger Supreme": Get ready to sling some serious spuds with this high-powered contraption! With its pneumatic prowess and precision engineering, the Spud Slinger Supreme is your ticket to potato-based glory.
"Tuber Tornado Twister": Brace yourself for a whirlwind of tuber-tossing fun! With the Tuber Tornado Twister, you'll be launching vegetables with the force of a hurricane, turning your backyard into a veritable potato paradise.
"Root Veggie Rocket Launcher": Blast off into the stratosphere with the Root Veggie Rocket Launcher! Whether you're aiming for the stars or just trying to impress your friends, this air-powered marvel is sure to send your veggies soaring.
"Starch-Powered Surprise Machine": Prepare to be amazed by the Starch-Powered Surprise Machine! With its ingenious design and potato-propelled propulsion system, you'll be unleashing a world of wonder in your backyard.
"Vegetable Vigilante": Take aim and launch your way to victory with this veggie-powered marvel! Whether you're warding off garden pests or staging a backyard showdown, the Vegetable Vigilante is your trusty sidekick in all things green.
"Spud Slinger Supreme": Get ready to sling some serious spuds with this high-powered contraption! With its pneumatic prowess and precision engineering, the Spud Slinger Supreme is your ticket to potato-based glory.
"Tuber Tornado Twister": Brace yourself for a whirlwind of tuber-tossing fun! With the Tuber Tornado Twister, you'll be launching vegetables with the force of a hurricane, turning your backyard into a veritable potato paradise.
"Root Veggie Rocket Launcher": Blast off into the stratosphere with the Root Veggie Rocket Launcher! Whether you're aiming for the stars or just trying to impress your friends, this air-powered marvel is sure to send your veggies soaring.
"Starch-Powered Surprise Machine": Prepare to be amazed by the Starch-Powered Surprise Machine! With its ingenious design and potato-propelled propulsion system, you'll be unleashing a world of wonder in your backyard.
1 year ago
