stupid

The questions that keep any sane person up at night!

Quite a good description of the ending

Is a shark of all people

Studied cars as a major in college. So she must be right and stick shifts are a myth! Here's a few reasons why:

The Shifty Science: "Because stick shifts are like unicorns—everyone talks about them, but no one's ever actually seen one in the wild. Maybe they're hiding in the same place as Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster!"

The Elusive Experience: "Because stick shifts are like finding a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow—you hear stories about them, but when you actually go looking, all you find is disappointment and a bunch of leprechaun jokes."

The Clutch Conundrum: "Because stick shifts are like trying to solve a Rubik's Cube blindfolded—sure, it sounds impressive, but most people just end up confused and frustrated, wishing they'd stuck with something simpler."

The Manual Mirage: "Because stick shifts are like believing in Santa Claus as an adult—sure, it's a nice idea, but deep down, you know it's just a fairy tale invented by car enthusiasts to make themselves feel special."

The Transmission Tall Tale: "Because stick shifts are like believing in ghosts—some people swear they exist, but until you see one for yourself, you're just not buying it. Maybe they're haunting the same place as those missing socks from the dryer!"

I'm sorry you had to find out from a meme. Here's 5 reasons why your younger self was an idiot:

The Fashion Faux Pas: "Because your younger self thought wearing socks with sandals was the epitome of coolness—ah, the blissful ignorance of youth, where fashion crimes were committed without a second thought."

The Cringe-worthy Crush: "Because your younger self believed that writing love letters in blood was the ultimate romantic gesture—apparently, your heart wasn't the only thing bleeding profusely."

The Culinary Catastrophe: "Because your younger self thought microwaving a metal spoon was a brilliant shortcut to heating up leftovers—nothing says 'I'm a culinary genius' like sparks flying in the kitchen."

The Social Media Snafu: "Because your younger self thought it was a good idea to post every thought, emotion, and bowel movement on social media—because nothing screams 'attention-seeking' like live-tweeting your existential crisis."

The DIY Disaster: "Because your younger self believed that building a skateboard ramp in your backyard with zero engineering experience was a solid plan—because who needs safety regulations when you've got a death wish and a hammer?"

We later find out she has 3 phd's
Here are five humorous fake reasons why glasses make you stupid:

The "Refraction Confusion" Theory:
Wearing glasses causes light to refract in such a way that it scrambles your brain signals. It's like wearing a mini disco ball on your face, except instead of groovy dance moves, you're doing the Macarena of confusion.

The "Lens Distortion" Delusion:
The lenses in glasses act like funhouse mirrors for your brain, distorting reality and turning even the simplest tasks into a carnival of errors. It's like trying to navigate a maze blindfolded – except the blindfold is your glasses.

The "Foggy Brain Fog" Fallacy:
Wearing glasses traps hot air from your brain and creates a foggy haze that clouds your thoughts. It's like trying to think through a steamy bathroom mirror – except instead of writing "wash me," your brain writes "what was I doing again?"

The "Nearsighted Nonsense" Notion:
Staring through glasses for too long causes your brain to become nearsighted to everything except the immediate task at hand. It's like tunnel vision, except the tunnel leads straight to the land of forgetfulness and befuddlement.

The "Refractive Regression" Ruse:
Glasses act like a time machine for your intelligence, sending you hurtling back to the days of childhood simplicity and innocence. It's like hitting the rewind button on your brain – except instead of reliving your glory days, you're reliving your crayon-eating days.