kids

No cumming until they're 18 for them

Enjoying their free time after working in the mine like it's 1920

Bit of a sad combined with funny this one

He got played though

Trying for kids is the fun part though

This child's eloquence is second only to the foods quality and taste

We didn't fake this...it's real remember this when you hear about people voting

People with LGBTQ kids realizing they should be happy

She should have another daughter and just name her prostitute!

This lady seems to have had quite the good track record

A statistically negligible number of us died

It's like you applied a filter to him

Seems the book was better then expected!

If the shoe fits... Why not sue the kids? They called her Karen already what's the worse that can even happen anymore?
Here's a few reasons why Karen SHOULD sue those pesky ankle biters:

"The Playground Peril": Karen should sue those pint-sized perpetrators for emotional distress and playground defamation. After all, it's not easy being the target of tiny tyrants armed with juice boxes and snarky remarks. Time to lawyer up and show those ankle-biters who's boss!

"The Lemonade Stand Lawsuit": Those 8-year-olds may think they're clever with their giggles and pointed fingers, but Karen knows that playground bullying is no laughing matter. It's time to take those pint-sized punks to court and demand compensation for the trauma of being mocked by mini-humans with sticky fingers and sticky insults.

"The Recess Retribution": Karen should sue those pint-sized provocateurs for causing a recess riot and disrupting the delicate ecosystem of the schoolyard. After all, it's hard to maintain one's dignity when surrounded by a gaggle of giggling grade-schoolers armed with insults and exaggerated eye rolls.

"The Lunchbox Lawsuit": Karen should sue those tiny terrors for ruining her lunch break with their juvenile jokes and juvenile justice system. After all, it's not easy enjoying a sandwich when you're being heckled by a horde of pint-sized hecklers armed with pudding cups and snide remarks.

"The Naptime Nuisance": Karen should sue those mini-menaces for disturbing her beauty sleep with their childish taunts and childish tantrums. After all, it's hard to catch some Z's when you're being serenaded by a chorus of giggles and whispers from the peanut gallery of elementary school mischief-makers.

Very young and old as ass parents are the only possibilities. Biology is fighting against the old ones succeeding but the young ones? Maybe we should all have kids in our teens not those glamorous moms on daytime TV. Here are a few reasons why teen pregnancy is in:

"The Built-in Babysitter": "Who needs a nanny when you've got a built-in babysitter? With a baby of your own, you'll never have to worry about finding someone to watch the kids—just hand them off to your parents and enjoy your newfound freedom!"

"The Ultimate Icebreaker": "Forget awkward small talk—having a baby as a teen is the ultimate conversation starter. Suddenly everyone wants to know your story, and you'll have no shortage of attention at parties (or PTA meetings)."

"The Trendsetter Teen": "Move over, TikTok influencers—teen parents are the new trendsetters. With your baby in tow, you'll be the envy of all your friends, who will marvel at your maturity and responsibility (or at least pretend to)."

"The High School Hilarity": "Teen parenthood adds a whole new level of excitement to high school life. From diaper changing in the school bathroom to breastfeeding in the cafeteria, every day is an adventure you'll never forget."

"The Youthful Energy Boost": "Who needs sleep when you're a teenager? With a baby to care for, you'll have plenty of opportunities to burn off that excess energy—whether it's rocking them to sleep at 3 am or chasing after them when they start crawling."

Deposit amount 7.21$. Or 50,000$ if she's actually good at it. Though the problem persists she got caught. Here's some top tier excuses to give your parents when they find out you made an OnlyFans:

"The Entrepreneurial Endeavor": "I'm just trying to diversify my portfolio, Mom and Dad! OnlyFans seemed like a more lucrative investment than the stock market—plus, I heard they're giving out signing bonuses."

"The Artistic Expression": "It's performance art, Dad. I'm exploring the intersection of nudity and existentialism, pushing the boundaries of society's expectations and challenging the notion of what it means to be human. Also, I needed rent money."

"The Catfish Caper": "I'm not actually on OnlyFans, Mom. Someone must have stolen my identity and set up a fake account using all my photos and personal information. It's a classic case of online impersonation—honestly, I'm flattered they think I'm hot enough to scam people."

"The Social Experiment": "I'm conducting a groundbreaking sociological study on the commodification of intimacy in the digital age. It's all in the name of science, Mom—I swear! Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to analyzing my subscriber demographics."

"The Digital Nomad Dream": "I've decided to quit my day job and become a full-time content creator, Dad. OnlyFans is just the beginning—I'm planning to expand into YouTube, Twitch, and maybe even TikTok if I can figure out how to dance. It's the millennial dream, really—working from home in my pajamas and getting paid to be myself."

Buffy was a good show and she looked like how the average high school-er SHOULD look. You were ugly and Buffy was hot and here's a few reasons why:

"The Awkward Adolescent Antics": "Let's face it, high school was like a bad episode of 'Saved by the Bell' for me—I was more Screech than Zack Morris. While Buffy was slaying vampires and saving the world, I was trying to navigate the treacherous waters of puberty without sinking like the Titanic."

"The Teenage Transformation Tragedy": "While Buffy was rocking leather jackets and kicking butt, I was stuck in a perpetual state of awkwardness that even a vampire couldn't glamor away. Let's just say my 'glow up' was more like a 'slow crawl out of the awkward abyss.'"

"The Braces and Bad Hair Blues": "While Buffy was busy staking hearts and breaking hearts, I was busy trying to hide my metal mouth and frizzy hair under a hoodie like a low-budget superhero. Let's just say I wasn't exactly giving off Slayer vibes in the hallways."

"The Prom Dress Disaster": "While Buffy was slaying at prom in a killer dress, I was slaying my chances of ever being prom queen with a dress that looked like it was made by a blindfolded toddler. Let's just say my fashion sense was more 'fashion faux pas' than 'fashionista.'"

"The Buffy vs. The Buffoon": "Let's be real, comparing myself to Buffy is like comparing a soggy Cheerio to a stake-wielding superhero. While she was saving the world from apocalypses and bad hair days, I was just trying to survive homeroom without tripping over my own feet. It's no wonder she looked better than me—she had better lighting, better makeup, and way better fight scenes."

Dare you to change their name to Big Jim. She looks Big Jim-esque and the name fits. Here's a few reasons why:

"The Irony of It All": "Because nothing says '8-year-old girl' like a nickname usually reserved for a burly lumberjack or a retired pro wrestler. It's like calling a hamster 'Tiny' or a kitten 'Killer'—it's so wrong, it's right."

"The Size Doesn't Matter Syndrome": "Because in a world of tiny toes and sticky fingers, sometimes it's the biggest personalities that shine the brightest. Who needs 'Little Susie' when you can have 'Big Jim' commanding the playground like a pint-sized general?"

"The Tall Tale Tornado": "Because let's face it, 8-year-olds are notorious for their tall tales and wild imaginations. So why not give them a nickname that matches their penchant for spinning yarns and bending the truth like a seasoned storyteller?"

"The Mighty Mouse Maneuver": "Because behind every 'Big Jim' is a pint-sized powerhouse ready to take on the world. Whether it's climbing trees, building forts, or staging a rebellion against broccoli, this little dynamo is ready to flex her muscles and show the world who's boss."

"The Giggle-Inducing Gimmick": "Because nothing gets a chuckle like giving an 8-year-old girl a nickname usually reserved for a grizzled cowboy or a muscle-bound action hero. It's unexpected, it's unconventional, and it's guaranteed to elicit more than a few giggles from anyone within earshot."

It's free real estate. Here's more dick related high school insults:

The Pencil Peen Putdown: "Hey, nice 'No. 2' pencil you got there. Shame it's more like a 'No. 0.2' when it comes to actual size!"

The Microscope Mishap: "I heard they had to use a microscope to find yours during sex ed. Talk about a biology fail!"

The Erect Eraser: "Your dick's so small, it's like trying to erase a mistake with a broken pencil—totally pointless!"

The Ruler Ruckus: "I bet even a ruler laughs at your dick's measurements. It's more like a millimeter Peter than a ruler of any kind!"

The Fountain Pen Flop: "Your dick's like a fountain pen—always leaking and never quite getting the job done. Maybe stick to pencils from now on, champ!"

Is it too late for an abortion? Legally yes but if it were legal here's some reasons why you would WANT to get it:

The Overdue Omelette: "Because at 24, he's less of a son and more of an uninvited houseguest who's overstayed his welcome. Time to crack some eggs and make a frittata!"

The Late Bloomer Loophole: "Because if he's still living in your basement at 24, chances are he's never going to blossom into the responsible adult you hoped for. Might as well nip that bud before it turns into a thorn in your side."

The Extended Umbilical Cord: "Because cutting the cord at birth is one thing, but at 24, he's practically knitting himself a cozy sweater out of it. Time to snip and set him free into the wild, where he can learn to fend for himself."

The "Me, Myself, and I" Mentality: "Because at 24, he's more interested in 'Me, Myself, and Instagram' than contributing to household chores or paying rent. It's time to reclaim your space and sanity."

The "You're Never Too Old to Reboot" Rationalization: "Because sometimes life feels like a bad movie sequel, and at 24, he's still stuck in the prequel stage. Time for a reboot where you play the lead role—without any unwanted side characters cluttering up the script!"

You'll enjoy naps when you have kids too since you'll be falling asleep every time you have a spare minute. Overall naps are great and here's a few reasons why:

The Snooze Button Symphony: "Because naps are like hitting the snooze button on life's alarm clock—except you get to enjoy the dreamy encore performance in your own cozy cocoon of blankets."

The Siesta Serenade: "Because taking a nap is like orchestrating your own mini symphony of snores, snuggles, and spontaneous dreams. Move over, Beethoven—there's a new maestro in town, and they're conducting from the comfort of their pillow fort."

The Slumber Party Saga: "Because naps are the ultimate solo slumber party where you're the VIP guest list, the entertainment, and the after-party all rolled into one. Who needs Netflix when you can star in your own dreamy blockbuster?"

The Pillow Plunge: "Because naps are like taking a thrilling plunge into the abyss of the unknown, where the only waves crashing are the ones lulling you into a state of blissful oblivion. Who needs extreme sports when you can conquer the art of nap-time acrobatics?"

The Dreamy Dancefloor: "Because naps are like stepping onto the dance floor of your imagination, where the music is composed of soft snores and the only moves you need to know are the ones that lead you straight to dreamland's front door. Who needs nightclubs when you can boogie down in your own mind?"

They both suck FAIL. DNA tests on the other hand are awesome and here's some reasons why:

The Genetic Game Show: "Because DNA tests are like a reality TV competition where you get to uncover the ultimate truth about your ancestry—move over, 'Survivor,' there's a new tribe in town, and they're all related!"

The Family Feud Fiesta: "Because DNA tests turn family reunions into a high-stakes guessing game—forget about potato sack races and three-legged races, the real competition is trying to guess which cousin twice removed is actually a long-lost sibling."

The Ancestry Antics: "Because DNA tests are like playing detective in a genetic mystery novel—except instead of solving crimes, you're uncovering scandalous secrets and hidden family skeletons. Who needs 'Sherlock Holmes' when you've got a swab and a test tube?"

The Surprise Spectacle: "Because DNA tests are like opening a surprise present on Christmas morning—except instead of getting a new toy or a pair of socks, you're finding out that your great-grandmother was actually a pirate queen or your uncle is secretly a long-lost member of the royal family."

The Identity Inquiry: "Because DNA tests are like taking a ride on the world's craziest roller coaster—except instead of twists and turns, you're navigating a wild ride through your own genetic code, discovering hidden talents, bizarre quirks, and the occasional unexpected mutation. Who needs amusement parks when you've got the double helix?"

I'm sorry you had to find out from a meme. Here's 5 reasons why your younger self was an idiot:

The Fashion Faux Pas: "Because your younger self thought wearing socks with sandals was the epitome of coolness—ah, the blissful ignorance of youth, where fashion crimes were committed without a second thought."

The Cringe-worthy Crush: "Because your younger self believed that writing love letters in blood was the ultimate romantic gesture—apparently, your heart wasn't the only thing bleeding profusely."

The Culinary Catastrophe: "Because your younger self thought microwaving a metal spoon was a brilliant shortcut to heating up leftovers—nothing says 'I'm a culinary genius' like sparks flying in the kitchen."

The Social Media Snafu: "Because your younger self thought it was a good idea to post every thought, emotion, and bowel movement on social media—because nothing screams 'attention-seeking' like live-tweeting your existential crisis."

The DIY Disaster: "Because your younger self believed that building a skateboard ramp in your backyard with zero engineering experience was a solid plan—because who needs safety regulations when you've got a death wish and a hammer?"

Do they get it from gambling ?
Banks your new market share awaits! Just make sure to colect if those payments don't come through!

"The Kiddie Cash Caper": Banks love nothing more than exploiting innocent children for profit. By luring them into debt with promises of candy and toys, they can trap them in a vicious cycle of financial servitude from a young age. And when little Tommy can't pay up, it's time to send in the loan sharks disguised as friendly neighborhood ice cream trucks.

"The Playground Predatory Practices": Banks see children as easy targets for their nefarious schemes. By offering them loans they can never hope to repay, they ensure a lifetime of debt bondage and servitude. And when little Jenny misses a payment, it's time for the debt collectors to pay her lemonade stand a visit and repossess her prized stuffed animals.

"The Candy Coercion Conspiracy": Banks will stop at nothing to get their grubby hands on children's hard-earned candy money. By preying on their sweet tooth and offering them loans they can't refuse, they ensure a steady stream of profits for years to come. And when little Timmy can't pay his debts, it's time to send in the repo team to snatch away his Halloween candy and birthday presents.

"The Tooth Fairy Extortion Racket": Banks see children's innocence as a weakness to be exploited for their own gain. By loaning them money and demanding exorbitant interest rates, they ensure a lifetime of indentured servitude and financial ruin. And when little Susie can't pay her debts, it's time to break out the kneecap kneader and teach her a lesson she won't soon forget.

"The Sandbox Shakedown Scheme": Banks view children as nothing more than cash cows to be milked for all they're worth. By trapping them in a web of debt from a young age, they ensure a lifetime of dependency and servitude. And when little Emily can't pay her debts, it's time to foreclose on her sandbox and evict her from her own backyard.