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1 year ago
1 year ago
Don't do this to yourself
Just don't press enter and live in unaware bliss. But since all men need to hear this your penis is great King. Here's a few musings on why your penis is great and you should enjoy it:
It's the MVP of the Bedroom Olympics: Your penis deserves a gold medal for its outstanding performance in the marathon of love-making. It's like the Usain Bolt of boners—always ready to sprint to the finish line with record-breaking speed.
It's a Master of Camouflage: Your penis is a ninja in disguise, stealthily blending into its surroundings with expert precision. It's like having a secret agent in your pants—always ready to spring into action when duty calls.
It's a Stand-Up Comedy Sensation: Your penis has a knack for comedy, always delivering punchlines with perfect timing and impeccable delivery. It's like having a mini Kevin Hart in your trousers—ready to keep the laughs coming all night long.
It's a Generous Philanthropist: Your penis is a philanthropic hero, always willing to donate its time and energy to those in need. It's like the Mother Teresa of manhood—spreading joy and happiness wherever it goes.
It's a Musical Virtuoso: Your penis is a maestro of melody, capable of playing sweet symphonies of pleasure with every stroke and caress. It's like having a tiny Beethoven in your briefs—ready to compose a masterpiece of pleasure at a moment's notice.
It's the MVP of the Bedroom Olympics: Your penis deserves a gold medal for its outstanding performance in the marathon of love-making. It's like the Usain Bolt of boners—always ready to sprint to the finish line with record-breaking speed.
It's a Master of Camouflage: Your penis is a ninja in disguise, stealthily blending into its surroundings with expert precision. It's like having a secret agent in your pants—always ready to spring into action when duty calls.
It's a Stand-Up Comedy Sensation: Your penis has a knack for comedy, always delivering punchlines with perfect timing and impeccable delivery. It's like having a mini Kevin Hart in your trousers—ready to keep the laughs coming all night long.
It's a Generous Philanthropist: Your penis is a philanthropic hero, always willing to donate its time and energy to those in need. It's like the Mother Teresa of manhood—spreading joy and happiness wherever it goes.
It's a Musical Virtuoso: Your penis is a maestro of melody, capable of playing sweet symphonies of pleasure with every stroke and caress. It's like having a tiny Beethoven in your briefs—ready to compose a masterpiece of pleasure at a moment's notice.
1 year ago
1 year ago
1 year ago
1 year ago
A handy tool for a modern age
There's a few reasons why she might not want to sign a prenup! Here's a few:
The Reverse Gold Digger Defense: They're afraid their partner might think they're after their collection of vintage Pokémon cards and limited edition action figures, rather than their vast fortune of... well, debt.
The "I Don't Need No Stinkin' Prenup" Syndrome: They've watched too many romantic comedies where love conquers all, including crippling financial liabilities and potential alimony payments.
The Curse of the Cursed Ring: They fear that signing a prenup might jinx their happily ever after, as if the ink from the contract is made from the tears of failed marriages past.
The "I'm Just Here for the Cake" Conundrum: They're more focused on the wedding cake than the legal ramifications of marriage, assuming that a slice of red velvet can solve any future financial disputes.
The "What's Mine is Mine and What's Yours is... Oh, Wait" Dilemma: They're convinced that their partner's idea of a prenup involves them signing over their prized Beanie Baby collection in exchange for custody of the dog.
The Reverse Gold Digger Defense: They're afraid their partner might think they're after their collection of vintage Pokémon cards and limited edition action figures, rather than their vast fortune of... well, debt.
The "I Don't Need No Stinkin' Prenup" Syndrome: They've watched too many romantic comedies where love conquers all, including crippling financial liabilities and potential alimony payments.
The Curse of the Cursed Ring: They fear that signing a prenup might jinx their happily ever after, as if the ink from the contract is made from the tears of failed marriages past.
The "I'm Just Here for the Cake" Conundrum: They're more focused on the wedding cake than the legal ramifications of marriage, assuming that a slice of red velvet can solve any future financial disputes.
The "What's Mine is Mine and What's Yours is... Oh, Wait" Dilemma: They're convinced that their partner's idea of a prenup involves them signing over their prized Beanie Baby collection in exchange for custody of the dog.
1 year ago
Stay off discord kids
The mods would chase you if they weren't basement goblins.
Though we should cut Discord mods some slack I read there are laws making this sort of thing and others mandatory!
"The Neckbeard Necessity Norm": It's illegal to be thin and zit-free as a Discord moderator because it violates the sacred Neckbeard Necessity Norm. Who needs smooth skin when you can hide behind a curtain of wiry neck hair?
"The Pudgy Pore Paradox": Being thin and zit-free as a Discord moderator is outlawed to preserve the delicate balance of pudgy pores and patchy facial hair. Who needs moderation skills when you can have a neckbeard so thick it has its own gravitational pull?
"The Zit-Zapper Zoning Zeal": It's illegal to be thin and zit-free as a Discord moderator to prevent a rebellion among the neckbeard community. Who needs peacekeeping when you can have a beard so unkempt it doubles as a hiding spot for rogue pizza crusts?
"The Fuzzy-Faced Fatwa": Being thin and zit-free as a Discord moderator is against the law to protect the sanctity of the neckbeard brotherhood. Who needs facial recognition when you can have a beard so dense it can deflect incoming chat bans?
"The Neckbeard Non-Negotiable": It's illegal to be thin and zit-free as a Discord moderator because it undermines the fundamental principle that all moderators must possess at least one inch of neckbeard length. Who needs equality when you can have a face that looks like it's wearing a sweater?
Though we should cut Discord mods some slack I read there are laws making this sort of thing and others mandatory!
"The Neckbeard Necessity Norm": It's illegal to be thin and zit-free as a Discord moderator because it violates the sacred Neckbeard Necessity Norm. Who needs smooth skin when you can hide behind a curtain of wiry neck hair?
"The Pudgy Pore Paradox": Being thin and zit-free as a Discord moderator is outlawed to preserve the delicate balance of pudgy pores and patchy facial hair. Who needs moderation skills when you can have a neckbeard so thick it has its own gravitational pull?
"The Zit-Zapper Zoning Zeal": It's illegal to be thin and zit-free as a Discord moderator to prevent a rebellion among the neckbeard community. Who needs peacekeeping when you can have a beard so unkempt it doubles as a hiding spot for rogue pizza crusts?
"The Fuzzy-Faced Fatwa": Being thin and zit-free as a Discord moderator is against the law to protect the sanctity of the neckbeard brotherhood. Who needs facial recognition when you can have a beard so dense it can deflect incoming chat bans?
"The Neckbeard Non-Negotiable": It's illegal to be thin and zit-free as a Discord moderator because it undermines the fundamental principle that all moderators must possess at least one inch of neckbeard length. Who needs equality when you can have a face that looks like it's wearing a sweater?
