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2 years ago
My buddy wrote this article
Just like me he is possibly not a cat but you can't prove anything
Other articles on that website:
"5 Reasons Why You Should Spend More Time in Cardboard Boxes"
Reasons include promoting creativity, reducing stress levels, and improving posture. But we all know the real reason – it's the ultimate kitty hideout!
"The Benefits of Sunbathing: Why You Should Soak Up Those Rays Every Day"
Articles touts Vitamin D production, mood enhancement, and skin health. But let's face it – cats just love basking in those warm sunbeams!
"The Joy of Napping: How Regular Rest Can Transform Your Life"
Highlights include increased productivity, improved memory, and reduced risk of heart disease. But we all know the real reason – it's the purr-fect excuse for a catnap!
"The Zen of Watching Birds: Finding Peace and Tranquility in Nature"
Explains the benefits of birdwatching for mental health, stress relief, and mindfulness. But for cats, it's just another opportunity for some prime window sill entertainment!
"The Art of Stretching: Why You Should Incorporate Daily Flexibility Exercises"
Extols the virtues of stretching for muscle health, flexibility, and injury prevention. But for cats, it's all about maintaining their impressive agility for impromptu zoomies and graceful leaps!
Other articles on that website:
"5 Reasons Why You Should Spend More Time in Cardboard Boxes"
Reasons include promoting creativity, reducing stress levels, and improving posture. But we all know the real reason – it's the ultimate kitty hideout!
"The Benefits of Sunbathing: Why You Should Soak Up Those Rays Every Day"
Articles touts Vitamin D production, mood enhancement, and skin health. But let's face it – cats just love basking in those warm sunbeams!
"The Joy of Napping: How Regular Rest Can Transform Your Life"
Highlights include increased productivity, improved memory, and reduced risk of heart disease. But we all know the real reason – it's the purr-fect excuse for a catnap!
"The Zen of Watching Birds: Finding Peace and Tranquility in Nature"
Explains the benefits of birdwatching for mental health, stress relief, and mindfulness. But for cats, it's just another opportunity for some prime window sill entertainment!
"The Art of Stretching: Why You Should Incorporate Daily Flexibility Exercises"
Extols the virtues of stretching for muscle health, flexibility, and injury prevention. But for cats, it's all about maintaining their impressive agility for impromptu zoomies and graceful leaps!
2 years ago
2 years ago
Super Mad Terrible Mother
Another person who's going to be put in a home at 53. But we're all about excuses here, maybe she has some good reasons? As a fellow person with an IQ as large as my shoe size I thought up of these totally valid reasons why you shouldn't share your onlyfans money with your kids:
"College Fund? More Like Fortnite Fund": Why waste your hard-earned OnlyFans money on boring stuff like college tuition when you could be investing in something truly important—like your kid's Fortnite skins collection? After all, who needs a degree when you can dominate the Battle Royale scene?
"The Tooth Fairy's Got Competition": Forget about loose change under the pillow—the real money maker in town is your OnlyFans account. Your kids will thank you for keeping the cash flow steady and the tooth fairy in business. Who knew dental hygiene could be so profitable?
"Parenting by Subscription": With your OnlyFans income, you can subscribe to the ultimate parenting plan: outsourcing all your responsibilities to the nearest daycare center. Let the professionals handle the diapers and tantrums while you focus on more important things—like perfecting your selfie game.
"The Ultimate Show-and-Tell Flex": Forget about boring show-and-tell presentations featuring stuffed animals and family photos. Your kids will be the envy of the playground when they strut their stuff with a brand-new iPhone, courtesy of your OnlyFans earnings. Who needs friends when you have the latest tech gadgets?
"The Real MVP: Mom's Versace Purse": Your kids may not appreciate it now, but one day they'll thank you for keeping up appearances with your designer handbags and luxury accessories. Who needs food on the table when you can have the latest fashion trends at your fingertips?
"College Fund? More Like Fortnite Fund": Why waste your hard-earned OnlyFans money on boring stuff like college tuition when you could be investing in something truly important—like your kid's Fortnite skins collection? After all, who needs a degree when you can dominate the Battle Royale scene?
"The Tooth Fairy's Got Competition": Forget about loose change under the pillow—the real money maker in town is your OnlyFans account. Your kids will thank you for keeping the cash flow steady and the tooth fairy in business. Who knew dental hygiene could be so profitable?
"Parenting by Subscription": With your OnlyFans income, you can subscribe to the ultimate parenting plan: outsourcing all your responsibilities to the nearest daycare center. Let the professionals handle the diapers and tantrums while you focus on more important things—like perfecting your selfie game.
"The Ultimate Show-and-Tell Flex": Forget about boring show-and-tell presentations featuring stuffed animals and family photos. Your kids will be the envy of the playground when they strut their stuff with a brand-new iPhone, courtesy of your OnlyFans earnings. Who needs friends when you have the latest tech gadgets?
"The Real MVP: Mom's Versace Purse": Your kids may not appreciate it now, but one day they'll thank you for keeping up appearances with your designer handbags and luxury accessories. Who needs food on the table when you can have the latest fashion trends at your fingertips?
2 years ago
Dogshit a classic present
A tier lower then coal. We thought about this one long and hard! She was probably saying it out of the goodness of her heart! Dog Shit is wonderful! It's the gift that keeps on giving and here is why:
"Because nothing says 'I love you' like a gift that keeps on giving... fertilizer for the soul, straight from Fido's behind!"
"Forget the fancy wrapping paper, nothing says 'holiday cheer' quite like a steaming pile of doggie delight under the tree!"
"Who needs socks or ties when you can give your cousin the gift of a surprise scavenger hunt? It's like Christmas morning, but with a twist!"
"They say it's the thought that counts, so why not give your cousin a thoughtful reminder to watch their step? It's the gift that keeps on giving, long after the holidays are over!"
"In a world of material possessions, give the gift of humility. Nothing humbles you faster than accidentally stepping in a 'present' from man's best friend!"
"Because nothing says 'I love you' like a gift that keeps on giving... fertilizer for the soul, straight from Fido's behind!"
"Forget the fancy wrapping paper, nothing says 'holiday cheer' quite like a steaming pile of doggie delight under the tree!"
"Who needs socks or ties when you can give your cousin the gift of a surprise scavenger hunt? It's like Christmas morning, but with a twist!"
"They say it's the thought that counts, so why not give your cousin a thoughtful reminder to watch their step? It's the gift that keeps on giving, long after the holidays are over!"
"In a world of material possessions, give the gift of humility. Nothing humbles you faster than accidentally stepping in a 'present' from man's best friend!"
2 years ago
2 years ago
Get corrected
Twitter adds context
Here are five humorous reasons why weather might cancel a sporting event:
Rain Delay Due to "Liquid Sunshine": The forecast calls for a heavy downpour of "liquid sunshine," making it impossible for players to distinguish between the ball and the tears of the weather gods.
Snowball Fight Breaks Out on the Field: A freak blizzard sweeps through, turning the stadium into a winter wonderland and prompting players to abandon their sports equipment in favor of snowball fights and impromptu snowman-building contests.
Wind Gusts Carry Players Away Like Kites: Unpredictable gusts of wind transform the playing field into a makeshift kite-flying zone, with players and referees soaring through the air like human kites. It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's the star quarterback!
Fog Rolls In, Players Vanish into Thin Air: A dense fog descends upon the stadium, shrouding the playing field in a thick veil of mist and causing players to vanish into thin air. Referees blow their whistles in vain, unable to locate the elusive athletes amidst the foggy chaos.
Heat Wave Turns Players into Puddles: Sweltering temperatures transform the playing field into a giant frying pan, causing players to melt like popsicles on a summer day. Fans watch in disbelief as their favorite athletes drip and droop like soggy pancakes, prompting a hasty retreat to the nearest ice cream stand.
Here are five humorous reasons why weather might cancel a sporting event:
Rain Delay Due to "Liquid Sunshine": The forecast calls for a heavy downpour of "liquid sunshine," making it impossible for players to distinguish between the ball and the tears of the weather gods.
Snowball Fight Breaks Out on the Field: A freak blizzard sweeps through, turning the stadium into a winter wonderland and prompting players to abandon their sports equipment in favor of snowball fights and impromptu snowman-building contests.
Wind Gusts Carry Players Away Like Kites: Unpredictable gusts of wind transform the playing field into a makeshift kite-flying zone, with players and referees soaring through the air like human kites. It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's the star quarterback!
Fog Rolls In, Players Vanish into Thin Air: A dense fog descends upon the stadium, shrouding the playing field in a thick veil of mist and causing players to vanish into thin air. Referees blow their whistles in vain, unable to locate the elusive athletes amidst the foggy chaos.
Heat Wave Turns Players into Puddles: Sweltering temperatures transform the playing field into a giant frying pan, causing players to melt like popsicles on a summer day. Fans watch in disbelief as their favorite athletes drip and droop like soggy pancakes, prompting a hasty retreat to the nearest ice cream stand.
2 years ago
