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2 years ago
The worst things to hear
With the bedside manner of a fart
2 years ago
Her love is a cult
She keeps lovebombing him, so maybe join her cult then? Here are 5 reasons you should join your girlfriends creepy cult:
Unwavering Devotion: Members are expected to show unwavering devotion to the girlfriend-cult leader, obeying her every command without question. Failure to comply results in mysterious consequences that no one dares to speak of.
Sinister Seduction: The girlfriend-cult leader exudes an unsettling aura of charisma and charm, drawing in new members with promises of love and acceptance. But behind closed doors, her true intentions remain shrouded in darkness.
Nightly Vigils: Each night, members gather in dimly lit chambers to perform eerie rituals in honor of the girlfriend-cult leader. The air is thick with anticipation and fear as they await her arrival, unsure of what horrors the night may bring.
Whispers in the Dark: Rumors abound of whispered conversations between the girlfriend-cult leader and shadowy figures who lurk in the depths of the cult compound. What sinister plots are being hatched behind closed doors?
Forbidden Liaisons: Despite the dangers, members find themselves drawn to forbidden liaisons with the girlfriend-cult leader, unable to resist her seductive allure. But these clandestine affairs come with a steep price, as betrayal and heartbreak lurk around every corner.
Unwavering Devotion: Members are expected to show unwavering devotion to the girlfriend-cult leader, obeying her every command without question. Failure to comply results in mysterious consequences that no one dares to speak of.
Sinister Seduction: The girlfriend-cult leader exudes an unsettling aura of charisma and charm, drawing in new members with promises of love and acceptance. But behind closed doors, her true intentions remain shrouded in darkness.
Nightly Vigils: Each night, members gather in dimly lit chambers to perform eerie rituals in honor of the girlfriend-cult leader. The air is thick with anticipation and fear as they await her arrival, unsure of what horrors the night may bring.
Whispers in the Dark: Rumors abound of whispered conversations between the girlfriend-cult leader and shadowy figures who lurk in the depths of the cult compound. What sinister plots are being hatched behind closed doors?
Forbidden Liaisons: Despite the dangers, members find themselves drawn to forbidden liaisons with the girlfriend-cult leader, unable to resist her seductive allure. But these clandestine affairs come with a steep price, as betrayal and heartbreak lurk around every corner.
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2 years ago
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2 years ago
Expensive alergies to have
It's from all the "we have food at home" memes
Totally take our reasons into account too
The "Budget Bonanza" Benefit:
"Who needs fancy restaurants when you can have a five-star meal from the dollar menu? It's like fine dining on a ramen noodle budget!"
The "Priceless Pleasure" Principle:
"Cheaper food comes with the added bonus of guilt-free indulgence – because saving money is the most delicious flavor of all!"
The "Thrifty Taste Test" Triumph:
"Why splurge on expensive delicacies when you can embark on a culinary adventure through the bargain bin? It's like a taste test challenge without the hefty price tag!"
The "Frugal Feast" Fantasy:
"With cheaper food, you can afford to throw an epic feast for all your friends – just don't tell them you bought the entire spread for less than the price of a latte!"
The "Savings Spice" Secret:
"Cheaper food is like a secret ingredient that adds an extra dash of flavor to every meal – the taste of victory, with a side of savings!"
Totally take our reasons into account too
The "Budget Bonanza" Benefit:
"Who needs fancy restaurants when you can have a five-star meal from the dollar menu? It's like fine dining on a ramen noodle budget!"
The "Priceless Pleasure" Principle:
"Cheaper food comes with the added bonus of guilt-free indulgence – because saving money is the most delicious flavor of all!"
The "Thrifty Taste Test" Triumph:
"Why splurge on expensive delicacies when you can embark on a culinary adventure through the bargain bin? It's like a taste test challenge without the hefty price tag!"
The "Frugal Feast" Fantasy:
"With cheaper food, you can afford to throw an epic feast for all your friends – just don't tell them you bought the entire spread for less than the price of a latte!"
The "Savings Spice" Secret:
"Cheaper food is like a secret ingredient that adds an extra dash of flavor to every meal – the taste of victory, with a side of savings!"
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2 years ago
Nice legs are they for sale?
Good thing he didn't pull out a chainsaw. Buying someone's legs is a quirky and absurd idea, so here are some humorous takes on how you might go about it:
The Leg Auction: Host a bizarre auction where you bid on individual body parts, with legs being the star attraction. Just make sure to clarify that you're only interested in the legs, not the rest of the package. Bonus points for throwing in a pair of prosthetic legs as a sweetener.
The Leg Swap Meet: Organize a peculiar event where people can trade body parts like Pokémon cards. You show up with a bag full of cash and a sign that says "Legs Wanted: Will Pay Handsomely." Who knows, maybe someone will take you up on the offer in exchange for a lifetime supply of socks.
The Leg Exchange Program: Start a quirky business where people can trade in their old legs for shiny new ones. You set up shop on a busy street corner with a sign that reads "Cash for Legs: Upgrade Yours Today!" It's like a used car dealership, but with fewer miles.
The Leg Lottery: Launch a whimsical lottery where the grand prize is a pair of legs belonging to a random stranger. You sell tickets with the slogan "Win Legs for Life!" and watch as people eagerly line up for their chance to walk away with a new set of gams.
The Leg Barter System: Embrace your inner entrepreneur and start a unique bartering system where legs are the currency of choice. You trade your vintage record collection for someone's legs, and they walk away with a new vinyl player. It's a win-win... unless you're left hopping mad.
The Leg Auction: Host a bizarre auction where you bid on individual body parts, with legs being the star attraction. Just make sure to clarify that you're only interested in the legs, not the rest of the package. Bonus points for throwing in a pair of prosthetic legs as a sweetener.
The Leg Swap Meet: Organize a peculiar event where people can trade body parts like Pokémon cards. You show up with a bag full of cash and a sign that says "Legs Wanted: Will Pay Handsomely." Who knows, maybe someone will take you up on the offer in exchange for a lifetime supply of socks.
The Leg Exchange Program: Start a quirky business where people can trade in their old legs for shiny new ones. You set up shop on a busy street corner with a sign that reads "Cash for Legs: Upgrade Yours Today!" It's like a used car dealership, but with fewer miles.
The Leg Lottery: Launch a whimsical lottery where the grand prize is a pair of legs belonging to a random stranger. You sell tickets with the slogan "Win Legs for Life!" and watch as people eagerly line up for their chance to walk away with a new set of gams.
The Leg Barter System: Embrace your inner entrepreneur and start a unique bartering system where legs are the currency of choice. You trade your vintage record collection for someone's legs, and they walk away with a new vinyl player. It's a win-win... unless you're left hopping mad.
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2 years ago
His boss knows
He's a pretty horny dude
- #meme
- #memes
- #joke
- #funny
- #banter
- #funnybaner
- #stripclub
- #boss
- #work
- #job
- #corporate
- #card
- #payment
- #money
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