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2 years ago
Dating is very hard
Take the initiative girls.
If you're dealing with one of the dumbest most oblivious people alive try these techniques:
Deploy the "Flirting for Dummies" Manual: Casually slip them a copy of "Flirting for Dummies" under the guise of recommending a good read. Maybe they'll get the hint, or at the very least, they'll have some entertaining bedtime reading.
Invent a Flirting Translator App: Pretend to furiously type away on your phone whenever you're flirting with them. When they ask what you're doing, tell them you're using your new invention—a Flirting Translator App—to decode their responses. Spoiler alert: it's just the Notes app with random gibberish.
Start a Flirting with Obvious Signals Club: Enlist their unwitting participation in a pretend club where you practice "subtle" flirting techniques. Cue exaggerated winks, finger guns, and overly dramatic hair flips. Bonus points if you print out membership cards.
Stage a "Flirting Intervention": Gather their friends and family for an "intervention" where you all hilariously reenact their missed flirting opportunities. Bonus points for costumes and props—maybe a giant neon sign that says "I'm flirting with you!"
Channel Your Inner Mime: Take a page from the silent comedians and communicate your flirtatious intentions through exaggerated gestures and facial expressions. It's like playing a game of charades, but with romance instead of movie titles.
If you're dealing with one of the dumbest most oblivious people alive try these techniques:
Deploy the "Flirting for Dummies" Manual: Casually slip them a copy of "Flirting for Dummies" under the guise of recommending a good read. Maybe they'll get the hint, or at the very least, they'll have some entertaining bedtime reading.
Invent a Flirting Translator App: Pretend to furiously type away on your phone whenever you're flirting with them. When they ask what you're doing, tell them you're using your new invention—a Flirting Translator App—to decode their responses. Spoiler alert: it's just the Notes app with random gibberish.
Start a Flirting with Obvious Signals Club: Enlist their unwitting participation in a pretend club where you practice "subtle" flirting techniques. Cue exaggerated winks, finger guns, and overly dramatic hair flips. Bonus points if you print out membership cards.
Stage a "Flirting Intervention": Gather their friends and family for an "intervention" where you all hilariously reenact their missed flirting opportunities. Bonus points for costumes and props—maybe a giant neon sign that says "I'm flirting with you!"
Channel Your Inner Mime: Take a page from the silent comedians and communicate your flirtatious intentions through exaggerated gestures and facial expressions. It's like playing a game of charades, but with romance instead of movie titles.
2 years ago
My brain hurts from reading this
Snakes clearly existing because they are mentioned in the bible but other dinosaurs? FAKE! All FAKE and here are 5 reasons why:
"The Big Bone Hoax": "Turns out those giant bones were just a prank pulled by prehistoric pranksters. They spent millions of years carefully crafting massive bones and burying them deep underground, just to see how gullible future scientists would be."
"The Time Travel Taboo": "Dinosaurs were actually just time travelers from the future, who got stuck in the past and decided to play along until they could find a way back home. Who needs a DeLorean when you've got a T-Rex?"
"The Hollywood Hype": "It was all a big Hollywood conspiracy to sell movie tickets. Spielberg and his cronies cooked up the idea of dinosaurs to cash in on the Jurassic Park craze—and we fell for it hook, line, and sinker."
"The Giant Lizard Cover-up": "Dinosaurs were actually just overgrown lizards who got a little too big for their britches. Turns out Mother Nature has a sense of humor, and she's not afraid to throw a few curveballs into the fossil record."
"The Museum Mayhem": "Dinosaurs were just a marketing ploy cooked up by the world's museums to boost ticket sales. After all, who wouldn't want to see a giant T-Rex skeleton? It's the ultimate tourist trap—and we've been falling for it for centuries."
"The Big Bone Hoax": "Turns out those giant bones were just a prank pulled by prehistoric pranksters. They spent millions of years carefully crafting massive bones and burying them deep underground, just to see how gullible future scientists would be."
"The Time Travel Taboo": "Dinosaurs were actually just time travelers from the future, who got stuck in the past and decided to play along until they could find a way back home. Who needs a DeLorean when you've got a T-Rex?"
"The Hollywood Hype": "It was all a big Hollywood conspiracy to sell movie tickets. Spielberg and his cronies cooked up the idea of dinosaurs to cash in on the Jurassic Park craze—and we fell for it hook, line, and sinker."
"The Giant Lizard Cover-up": "Dinosaurs were actually just overgrown lizards who got a little too big for their britches. Turns out Mother Nature has a sense of humor, and she's not afraid to throw a few curveballs into the fossil record."
"The Museum Mayhem": "Dinosaurs were just a marketing ploy cooked up by the world's museums to boost ticket sales. After all, who wouldn't want to see a giant T-Rex skeleton? It's the ultimate tourist trap—and we've been falling for it for centuries."
2 years ago
Dating is very hard
Take the initiative girls.
If you're dealing with one of the dumbest most oblivious people alive try these techniques:
Deploy the "Flirting for Dummies" Manual: Casually slip them a copy of "Flirting for Dummies" under the guise of recommending a good read. Maybe they'll get the hint, or at the very least, they'll have some entertaining bedtime reading.
Invent a Flirting Translator App: Pretend to furiously type away on your phone whenever you're flirting with them. When they ask what you're doing, tell them you're using your new invention—a Flirting Translator App—to decode their responses. Spoiler alert: it's just the Notes app with random gibberish.
Start a Flirting with Obvious Signals Club: Enlist their unwitting participation in a pretend club where you practice "subtle" flirting techniques. Cue exaggerated winks, finger guns, and overly dramatic hair flips. Bonus points if you print out membership cards.
Stage a "Flirting Intervention": Gather their friends and family for an "intervention" where you all hilariously reenact their missed flirting opportunities. Bonus points for costumes and props—maybe a giant neon sign that says "I'm flirting with you!"
Channel Your Inner Mime: Take a page from the silent comedians and communicate your flirtatious intentions through exaggerated gestures and facial expressions. It's like playing a game of charades, but with romance instead of movie titles.
If you're dealing with one of the dumbest most oblivious people alive try these techniques:
Deploy the "Flirting for Dummies" Manual: Casually slip them a copy of "Flirting for Dummies" under the guise of recommending a good read. Maybe they'll get the hint, or at the very least, they'll have some entertaining bedtime reading.
Invent a Flirting Translator App: Pretend to furiously type away on your phone whenever you're flirting with them. When they ask what you're doing, tell them you're using your new invention—a Flirting Translator App—to decode their responses. Spoiler alert: it's just the Notes app with random gibberish.
Start a Flirting with Obvious Signals Club: Enlist their unwitting participation in a pretend club where you practice "subtle" flirting techniques. Cue exaggerated winks, finger guns, and overly dramatic hair flips. Bonus points if you print out membership cards.
Stage a "Flirting Intervention": Gather their friends and family for an "intervention" where you all hilariously reenact their missed flirting opportunities. Bonus points for costumes and props—maybe a giant neon sign that says "I'm flirting with you!"
Channel Your Inner Mime: Take a page from the silent comedians and communicate your flirtatious intentions through exaggerated gestures and facial expressions. It's like playing a game of charades, but with romance instead of movie titles.
2 years ago
The creepy yet wholesome bat guy
Be the kind creepy guy for someone in your life!
If she wanted him to stop being a sort of bat-friend-man she could have used one of these but since she didn't we assume the bat-posting was consensual
**"Hey, can you please stop bat-tering me with all these bat memes? My inbox is starting to feel like a bat cave, and I'm not Batman, I swear."
**"Listen, I appreciate your enthusiasm for bats, but I think I've reached my bat quota for the year. Let's give the bats a break and focus on something less... batty."
**"I'm starting to feel like I'm in a bat-themed horror movie, and I'm the unsuspecting victim. Can we switch to a less spooky topic before I start seeing bats in my dreams?"
**"I've come to the realization that I'm more of a cat person than a bat person. So, if you could please stop sending me bat-related content, that would be purr-fect."
**"I'm all for spreading our wings and exploring new interests, but I think it's time to put the bats to bed for now. Let's move on to something that doesn't involve flying rodents, shall we?"
If she wanted him to stop being a sort of bat-friend-man she could have used one of these but since she didn't we assume the bat-posting was consensual
**"Hey, can you please stop bat-tering me with all these bat memes? My inbox is starting to feel like a bat cave, and I'm not Batman, I swear."
**"Listen, I appreciate your enthusiasm for bats, but I think I've reached my bat quota for the year. Let's give the bats a break and focus on something less... batty."
**"I'm starting to feel like I'm in a bat-themed horror movie, and I'm the unsuspecting victim. Can we switch to a less spooky topic before I start seeing bats in my dreams?"
**"I've come to the realization that I'm more of a cat person than a bat person. So, if you could please stop sending me bat-related content, that would be purr-fect."
**"I'm all for spreading our wings and exploring new interests, but I think it's time to put the bats to bed for now. Let's move on to something that doesn't involve flying rodents, shall we?"
2 years ago
But the world can see her naked?
Seems she doesn't have any issue with that part
This behavior precedes these ones
The "Pet Party" Pandemonium:
You come home to find she's thrown a full-on birthday bash for your pet goldfish, complete with a tiny cake and fish-sized party hats for all.
The "Socks Overload" Spectacle:
She's started a protest against sock oppression by collecting every mismatched sock in the house and declaring them independent nations in the War of the Laundry Room.
The "Karaoke Catastrophe" Crisis:
You catch her serenading the neighborhood with an impromptu rendition of "Bohemian Rhapsody" at 3 a.m., complete with air guitar solos and interpretive dance moves.
The "Cereal Chaos" Commotion:
She's rearranged the alphabet cereal to leave cryptic messages in the breakfast bowl, like "SOS - Send Oreos" or "The milk is watching."
The "Dress-Up Debacle" Disaster:
You find her trying to dress your cat in a tiny tuxedo, insisting it's necessary for his role as Chief Feline Officer of the Household.
This behavior precedes these ones
The "Pet Party" Pandemonium:
You come home to find she's thrown a full-on birthday bash for your pet goldfish, complete with a tiny cake and fish-sized party hats for all.
The "Socks Overload" Spectacle:
She's started a protest against sock oppression by collecting every mismatched sock in the house and declaring them independent nations in the War of the Laundry Room.
The "Karaoke Catastrophe" Crisis:
You catch her serenading the neighborhood with an impromptu rendition of "Bohemian Rhapsody" at 3 a.m., complete with air guitar solos and interpretive dance moves.
The "Cereal Chaos" Commotion:
She's rearranged the alphabet cereal to leave cryptic messages in the breakfast bowl, like "SOS - Send Oreos" or "The milk is watching."
The "Dress-Up Debacle" Disaster:
You find her trying to dress your cat in a tiny tuxedo, insisting it's necessary for his role as Chief Feline Officer of the Household.
2 years ago
A good picture is a good picture
You also don't have to pay the photographer and other great reasons like these:
The Mugshot Magnetism: "Because nothing says 'bad boy/girl' like a well-framed mugshot—impress your potential dates with your undeniable charisma and undeniable criminal record!"
The Conversation Starter: "Because let's face it, there's no better icebreaker than 'So, what were you arrested for?'—skip the small talk and dive straight into the juicy details of your run-in with the law."
The Mystery Factor: "Because why settle for boring selfies when you can leave your potential dates guessing about your mysterious past? Keep them on their toes with tantalizing tales of your wild and reckless youth."
The Unforgettable Impression: "Because you only get one chance to make a first impression, so why not make it a memorable one? With your mugshot front and center, you'll be the talk of the town—and the dating app."
The Transparency Triumph: "Because honesty is the best policy, right? Show your potential dates that you've got nothing to hide by proudly displaying your mugshot—after all, if they can't handle you at your worst, they don't deserve you at your best!"
The Mugshot Magnetism: "Because nothing says 'bad boy/girl' like a well-framed mugshot—impress your potential dates with your undeniable charisma and undeniable criminal record!"
The Conversation Starter: "Because let's face it, there's no better icebreaker than 'So, what were you arrested for?'—skip the small talk and dive straight into the juicy details of your run-in with the law."
The Mystery Factor: "Because why settle for boring selfies when you can leave your potential dates guessing about your mysterious past? Keep them on their toes with tantalizing tales of your wild and reckless youth."
The Unforgettable Impression: "Because you only get one chance to make a first impression, so why not make it a memorable one? With your mugshot front and center, you'll be the talk of the town—and the dating app."
The Transparency Triumph: "Because honesty is the best policy, right? Show your potential dates that you've got nothing to hide by proudly displaying your mugshot—after all, if they can't handle you at your worst, they don't deserve you at your best!"
2 years ago
