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2 years ago
Dogshit a classic present
A tier lower then coal. We thought about this one long and hard! She was probably saying it out of the goodness of her heart! Dog Shit is wonderful! It's the gift that keeps on giving and here is why:
"Because nothing says 'I love you' like a gift that keeps on giving... fertilizer for the soul, straight from Fido's behind!"
"Forget the fancy wrapping paper, nothing says 'holiday cheer' quite like a steaming pile of doggie delight under the tree!"
"Who needs socks or ties when you can give your cousin the gift of a surprise scavenger hunt? It's like Christmas morning, but with a twist!"
"They say it's the thought that counts, so why not give your cousin a thoughtful reminder to watch their step? It's the gift that keeps on giving, long after the holidays are over!"
"In a world of material possessions, give the gift of humility. Nothing humbles you faster than accidentally stepping in a 'present' from man's best friend!"
"Because nothing says 'I love you' like a gift that keeps on giving... fertilizer for the soul, straight from Fido's behind!"
"Forget the fancy wrapping paper, nothing says 'holiday cheer' quite like a steaming pile of doggie delight under the tree!"
"Who needs socks or ties when you can give your cousin the gift of a surprise scavenger hunt? It's like Christmas morning, but with a twist!"
"They say it's the thought that counts, so why not give your cousin a thoughtful reminder to watch their step? It's the gift that keeps on giving, long after the holidays are over!"
"In a world of material possessions, give the gift of humility. Nothing humbles you faster than accidentally stepping in a 'present' from man's best friend!"
1 year ago
Should be banned from eating chicken
Should be forced to become vegan until they appreciate meat more!
1 year ago
2 years ago
The pros outweigh the cons i'm told
If it isn't sticky or wet your kids aren't happy and there are 5 rules that kids follow to a t that back us up on that
"The Stickiness Surprise Party":
"Why settle for mundane when you can add a dash of stickiness to life? Sticky fingers are like secret handshakes – you never know when you'll be part of the 'sticky club'!"
"The Wet and Wacky Wonders":
"Dryness is so last century! Kids crave the chaos of wetness – it's like a surprise party for your clothes, and everyone's invited to get soaked!"
"Sticky Fingers, Sticky Situations, Sticky Hilarity":
"Sticky fingers aren't just for snacking – they're like tiny glue traps for adventure! From accidental gluey handshakes to trying to high-five without getting stuck, every sticky moment is a comedy in the making."
"The Splash-tastic Showdowns":
"Why tiptoe through life when you can make a splash? Wetness isn't just a state of being – it's a lifestyle choice! Who needs dry socks when you can have a watery wardrobe malfunction?"
"Mud Madness: The Great Gooey Escapade":
"Mud isn't just dirt – it's the building blocks of childhood glory! From mud pies to mud slides, it's like playing in your own personal pudding pit. Plus, who needs a spa day when you've got mud masks for free?"
"The Stickiness Surprise Party":
"Why settle for mundane when you can add a dash of stickiness to life? Sticky fingers are like secret handshakes – you never know when you'll be part of the 'sticky club'!"
"The Wet and Wacky Wonders":
"Dryness is so last century! Kids crave the chaos of wetness – it's like a surprise party for your clothes, and everyone's invited to get soaked!"
"Sticky Fingers, Sticky Situations, Sticky Hilarity":
"Sticky fingers aren't just for snacking – they're like tiny glue traps for adventure! From accidental gluey handshakes to trying to high-five without getting stuck, every sticky moment is a comedy in the making."
"The Splash-tastic Showdowns":
"Why tiptoe through life when you can make a splash? Wetness isn't just a state of being – it's a lifestyle choice! Who needs dry socks when you can have a watery wardrobe malfunction?"
"Mud Madness: The Great Gooey Escapade":
"Mud isn't just dirt – it's the building blocks of childhood glory! From mud pies to mud slides, it's like playing in your own personal pudding pit. Plus, who needs a spa day when you've got mud masks for free?"
1 year ago
2 years ago
Bring the filter with you
Showing up like the temu version of yourself. We're all for body positivity here mainly because we're all ugly as sin but that's besides the point , a lot of filters is false advertising and dating these days is mostly advertising. Here are a few reasons why not to use a lot of filters on dating apps:
"The Filtered Fantasy vs. Reality:" Using too many image filters on dating sites is like presenting a Picasso painting of yourself instead of a photograph. Sure, you might look like a masterpiece online, but when you show up for that first date, your date might wonder where your other ear went.
"The Photoshop Phobia:" Nothing says "run for the hills" like realizing your date looks nothing like their heavily filtered profile picture. It's like ordering a juicy steak and receiving a tofu burger instead—disappointing, to say the least.
"The Filter-Fueled Fiasco:" With so many filters, it's hard to know what's real and what's not. One minute, you're swiping right on a flawless supermodel; the next, you're face-to-face with a human being who looks like they've been digitally airbrushed into oblivion. Talk about a rude awakening.
"The Filtered Faux Pas:" Using excessive image filters on dating sites is a rookie mistake akin to wearing sunglasses indoors—it screams "I have something to hide." Sure, you might think you're enhancing your appearance, but your date will see right through your digital disguise.
"The Filtered Freak-Out:" Imagine the horror of realizing your date looks nothing like their carefully curated profile pictures. It's like being catfished by your own vanity—a sobering reminder that filters can only do so much to improve your dating prospects.
"The Filtered Fantasy vs. Reality:" Using too many image filters on dating sites is like presenting a Picasso painting of yourself instead of a photograph. Sure, you might look like a masterpiece online, but when you show up for that first date, your date might wonder where your other ear went.
"The Photoshop Phobia:" Nothing says "run for the hills" like realizing your date looks nothing like their heavily filtered profile picture. It's like ordering a juicy steak and receiving a tofu burger instead—disappointing, to say the least.
"The Filter-Fueled Fiasco:" With so many filters, it's hard to know what's real and what's not. One minute, you're swiping right on a flawless supermodel; the next, you're face-to-face with a human being who looks like they've been digitally airbrushed into oblivion. Talk about a rude awakening.
"The Filtered Faux Pas:" Using excessive image filters on dating sites is a rookie mistake akin to wearing sunglasses indoors—it screams "I have something to hide." Sure, you might think you're enhancing your appearance, but your date will see right through your digital disguise.
"The Filtered Freak-Out:" Imagine the horror of realizing your date looks nothing like their carefully curated profile pictures. It's like being catfished by your own vanity—a sobering reminder that filters can only do so much to improve your dating prospects.
1 year ago
