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1 year ago
Illiterate Bae!
Can't see red flags if you can't spell them. You should always love your illiterate girlfriend and here's a few reasons why:
The Love Letter Lark: "Because who needs Shakespeare when your illiterate girlfriend writes you love letters that are more entertaining than a Netflix rom-com? Spelling mistakes are just her way of adding suspense!"
The Bookworm Bliss: "Because with an illiterate girlfriend, you'll never have to worry about sharing your favorite books. Just think of all the quality time you'll save by not having to debate the merits of Hemingway's prose!"
The Texting Tease: "Because deciphering her texts is like solving a cryptic crossword puzzle—you never know what you're going to get, but it's always an adventure. Who needs grammar when you've got emojis?"
The Literary Love: "Because while she may not be able to read, she's a master at creating her own stories. From tall tales to elaborate excuses, her imagination knows no bounds!"
The Poetry Paradox: "Because with an illiterate girlfriend, you'll never have to worry about her stealing your copy of 'Fifty Shades of Grey.' Instead, you'll get to experience the thrill of reading her own steamy poetry—complete with creative spelling and alliteration!"
The Love Letter Lark: "Because who needs Shakespeare when your illiterate girlfriend writes you love letters that are more entertaining than a Netflix rom-com? Spelling mistakes are just her way of adding suspense!"
The Bookworm Bliss: "Because with an illiterate girlfriend, you'll never have to worry about sharing your favorite books. Just think of all the quality time you'll save by not having to debate the merits of Hemingway's prose!"
The Texting Tease: "Because deciphering her texts is like solving a cryptic crossword puzzle—you never know what you're going to get, but it's always an adventure. Who needs grammar when you've got emojis?"
The Literary Love: "Because while she may not be able to read, she's a master at creating her own stories. From tall tales to elaborate excuses, her imagination knows no bounds!"
The Poetry Paradox: "Because with an illiterate girlfriend, you'll never have to worry about her stealing your copy of 'Fifty Shades of Grey.' Instead, you'll get to experience the thrill of reading her own steamy poetry—complete with creative spelling and alliteration!"
1 year ago
1 year ago
Don't risk it guys
I'd also share it on all my socials your friends will think you're smart funny and quirky
Lucky badger guys just read the proof below i swear writing these is like an endless fever dream
The "Underground Abode" Advantage:
"With $115, that badger can afford the ultimate burrow upgrade – complete with a built-in jacuzzi!"
The "Unexpected Investor" Wonder:
"This badger must have stumbled upon a squirrel's hidden stock portfolio. Lucky break for a woodland critter!"
The "Born Lucky" Charm:
"With a badger's luck and $115, who needs four-leaf clovers?"
The "Frugal Forager" Fortune:
"That badger's $115 could buy a year's supply of discount berries and budget-friendly bugs!"
The "Pirate's Paw" Prize:
"Rumor has it, buried beneath the badger's favorite tree lies a trove of lost pirate treasure. Lucky find indeed!"
Lucky badger guys just read the proof below i swear writing these is like an endless fever dream
The "Underground Abode" Advantage:
"With $115, that badger can afford the ultimate burrow upgrade – complete with a built-in jacuzzi!"
The "Unexpected Investor" Wonder:
"This badger must have stumbled upon a squirrel's hidden stock portfolio. Lucky break for a woodland critter!"
The "Born Lucky" Charm:
"With a badger's luck and $115, who needs four-leaf clovers?"
The "Frugal Forager" Fortune:
"That badger's $115 could buy a year's supply of discount berries and budget-friendly bugs!"
The "Pirate's Paw" Prize:
"Rumor has it, buried beneath the badger's favorite tree lies a trove of lost pirate treasure. Lucky find indeed!"
1 year ago
1 year ago
Named one of his dogs Desmond
Those are People's NAMES my guy!
Here are five humorous reasons why you should give your dog a human name:
"Avoiding Awkward Introductions": Forget the confusion of shouting "Spot!" at the dog park and having five different pooches come running. With a human name like "Steve" or "Barbara," you'll never have to worry about mistaking someone else's furry friend for your own—or accidentally calling your neighbor by your dog's name.
"Elevating Their Social Status": Who says dogs can't be part of the upper crust? Give your furry friend a sophisticated moniker like "Geoffrey" or "Margaret," and suddenly they're hobnobbing with the best of them at canine cocktail parties and pooch pampering spas.
"Preventing Identity Crisis": Let's face it—being called "Fido" or "Rover" doesn't exactly scream individuality. Give your dog a human name, and suddenly they're not just another face in the doggy crowd—they're a unique and irreplaceable member of the family, complete with their own quirks and personality traits.
"Confusing the Vet": Nothing keeps your veterinarian on their toes like trying to decipher the medical records of a patient named "Gary" or "Jessica." With a human name, your dog becomes the ultimate mystery to unravel—a furry enigma wrapped in a puzzle wrapped in a fur coat.
"Expanding Their Career Opportunities": Who says dogs can't have a nine-to-five job? With a human name like "Kevin" or "Samantha," your pooch could be the next canine CEO, leading boardroom meetings and barking out orders like a pro. Just don't forget to pack their briefcase and power tie!
Here are five humorous reasons why you should give your dog a human name:
"Avoiding Awkward Introductions": Forget the confusion of shouting "Spot!" at the dog park and having five different pooches come running. With a human name like "Steve" or "Barbara," you'll never have to worry about mistaking someone else's furry friend for your own—or accidentally calling your neighbor by your dog's name.
"Elevating Their Social Status": Who says dogs can't be part of the upper crust? Give your furry friend a sophisticated moniker like "Geoffrey" or "Margaret," and suddenly they're hobnobbing with the best of them at canine cocktail parties and pooch pampering spas.
"Preventing Identity Crisis": Let's face it—being called "Fido" or "Rover" doesn't exactly scream individuality. Give your dog a human name, and suddenly they're not just another face in the doggy crowd—they're a unique and irreplaceable member of the family, complete with their own quirks and personality traits.
"Confusing the Vet": Nothing keeps your veterinarian on their toes like trying to decipher the medical records of a patient named "Gary" or "Jessica." With a human name, your dog becomes the ultimate mystery to unravel—a furry enigma wrapped in a puzzle wrapped in a fur coat.
"Expanding Their Career Opportunities": Who says dogs can't have a nine-to-five job? With a human name like "Kevin" or "Samantha," your pooch could be the next canine CEO, leading boardroom meetings and barking out orders like a pro. Just don't forget to pack their briefcase and power tie!
1 year ago
1 year ago
A tattoo she will never regret
Tattoos should represent something you truly love
Here are five hilariously dumb tattoo ideas:
The "Spelling Bee Champion": Get a tattoo of a dictionary on your back with the word "dictionary" misspelled. It's a surefire way to keep your friends entertained and your English teacher cringing.
The "Regrettable Emoji": Get a tattoo of your favorite emoji on your forearm, but make sure it's the one with the crossed-out face. It's a constant reminder of the questionable decisions you've made in life.
The "Meme Masterpiece": Get a tattoo of the "Distracted Boyfriend" meme on your calf, but replace the people with images of your own face. It's a meta tribute to internet culture that's guaranteed to age like fine wine – or milk left out in the sun.
The "Questionable Quote": Get a tattoo of a motivational quote on your ribcage, but have it written in Comic Sans font. Because nothing says "serious life advice" like the font of choice for elementary school birthday party invitations.
The "Food Fiasco": Get a tattoo of a slice of pizza on your thigh, but have it look so realistic that people try to grab a bite. It's a deliciously dumb idea that's bound to leave you hungry for more – both pizza and questionable life choices.
Here are five hilariously dumb tattoo ideas:
The "Spelling Bee Champion": Get a tattoo of a dictionary on your back with the word "dictionary" misspelled. It's a surefire way to keep your friends entertained and your English teacher cringing.
The "Regrettable Emoji": Get a tattoo of your favorite emoji on your forearm, but make sure it's the one with the crossed-out face. It's a constant reminder of the questionable decisions you've made in life.
The "Meme Masterpiece": Get a tattoo of the "Distracted Boyfriend" meme on your calf, but replace the people with images of your own face. It's a meta tribute to internet culture that's guaranteed to age like fine wine – or milk left out in the sun.
The "Questionable Quote": Get a tattoo of a motivational quote on your ribcage, but have it written in Comic Sans font. Because nothing says "serious life advice" like the font of choice for elementary school birthday party invitations.
The "Food Fiasco": Get a tattoo of a slice of pizza on your thigh, but have it look so realistic that people try to grab a bite. It's a deliciously dumb idea that's bound to leave you hungry for more – both pizza and questionable life choices.
