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1 year ago
Horribly Unwholesome
Caught being a terrible person. But cheating on your wife is Ok (only for assholes) So we thought up of a few reasons an asshole would think cheating on their wife is ok:
The Infidelity Ignorance: "Because cheating on your wife is like eating the last slice of pizza—you know it's wrong, but hey, someone's gotta do it, right? And who better than the resident asshole to take one for the team?"
The Disloyalty Delusion: "Because cheating on your wife is a surefire way to keep life exciting—who needs stability and trust when you can have drama and deceit? Only certified assholes understand the true thrill of keeping their partners on their toes!"
The Commitment Cop-Out: "Because cheating on your wife is just your way of showing her that you're too busy being an asshole to be tied down by silly things like monogamy and fidelity. Who needs a wedding vow when you've got a personal code of douchebaggery?"
The Marriage Misdirection: "Because cheating on your wife is the ultimate test of her love and devotion—only a true asshole would put their partner through such emotional turmoil just to prove a point. Who needs couples therapy when you can just gaslight your way to a stronger marriage?"
The Selfish Spouse: "Because cheating on your wife is like playing a game of emotional Russian roulette—sure, you might blow up your marriage in the process, but who cares when you're the one holding the trigger? Only assholes understand the true joy of watching everything go up in flames."
The Infidelity Ignorance: "Because cheating on your wife is like eating the last slice of pizza—you know it's wrong, but hey, someone's gotta do it, right? And who better than the resident asshole to take one for the team?"
The Disloyalty Delusion: "Because cheating on your wife is a surefire way to keep life exciting—who needs stability and trust when you can have drama and deceit? Only certified assholes understand the true thrill of keeping their partners on their toes!"
The Commitment Cop-Out: "Because cheating on your wife is just your way of showing her that you're too busy being an asshole to be tied down by silly things like monogamy and fidelity. Who needs a wedding vow when you've got a personal code of douchebaggery?"
The Marriage Misdirection: "Because cheating on your wife is the ultimate test of her love and devotion—only a true asshole would put their partner through such emotional turmoil just to prove a point. Who needs couples therapy when you can just gaslight your way to a stronger marriage?"
The Selfish Spouse: "Because cheating on your wife is like playing a game of emotional Russian roulette—sure, you might blow up your marriage in the process, but who cares when you're the one holding the trigger? Only assholes understand the true joy of watching everything go up in flames."
1 year ago
Please don't
Regardless of location , please don't
In case you still want to have 5 reasons why this might not be the best idea
Tiny Portions: Gerbils are notorious for their small size, so if you're looking for a hearty meal, you might end up with just a nibble!
Exercise Routine: Gerbils are known for their energetic nature, so eating them might give you a sudden burst of energy – but good luck trying to sit still afterward!
Furball Fiasco: Gerbils have a lot of fur, which could lead to an unexpected and unpleasant hairball situation. Not exactly appetizing!
Cheeky Business: Have you ever tried to eat something with cheeks stuffed full of food? Gerbils have! And let's just say it's not the most graceful dining experience.
Rodent Reviews: If you think Yelp reviews for restaurants can be brutal, just wait until the gerbil community hears about your dining choices. You'll be the talk of the (hamster) wheel for all the wrong reasons!
In case you still want to have 5 reasons why this might not be the best idea
Tiny Portions: Gerbils are notorious for their small size, so if you're looking for a hearty meal, you might end up with just a nibble!
Exercise Routine: Gerbils are known for their energetic nature, so eating them might give you a sudden burst of energy – but good luck trying to sit still afterward!
Furball Fiasco: Gerbils have a lot of fur, which could lead to an unexpected and unpleasant hairball situation. Not exactly appetizing!
Cheeky Business: Have you ever tried to eat something with cheeks stuffed full of food? Gerbils have! And let's just say it's not the most graceful dining experience.
Rodent Reviews: If you think Yelp reviews for restaurants can be brutal, just wait until the gerbil community hears about your dining choices. You'll be the talk of the (hamster) wheel for all the wrong reasons!
1 year ago
Take off your sunglasses
While wearing rose colored glasses the red flags were easily missed, You shouldn't miss your ex and here's why:
The Cheat Sheet: "Because missing your cheating ex is like missing a pop quiz in hell—sure, there's a chance you'll pass, but do you really want to risk it?"
The Infidelity Inconvenience: "Because missing your cheating ex is like missing a rerun of your least favorite TV show—sure, you might wonder how it ends, but you'll survive without the drama."
The Betrayal Backfire: "Because missing your cheating ex is like missing a leaky faucet—sure, it's annoying when it's dripping, but once it's fixed, you realize how much quieter life can be without the constant drip, drip, drip of betrayal."
The Deception Dilemma: "Because missing your cheating ex is like missing a bad case of food poisoning—sure, it was intense while it lasted, but now that it's over, you can finally enjoy a meal without the fear of projectile vomiting."
The Cheater's Conundrum: "Because missing your cheating ex is like missing a flat tire on a road trip—sure, it's a bump in the road, but once you change it and keep driving, you realize how much smoother the journey is without the constant threat of a blowout."
The Cheat Sheet: "Because missing your cheating ex is like missing a pop quiz in hell—sure, there's a chance you'll pass, but do you really want to risk it?"
The Infidelity Inconvenience: "Because missing your cheating ex is like missing a rerun of your least favorite TV show—sure, you might wonder how it ends, but you'll survive without the drama."
The Betrayal Backfire: "Because missing your cheating ex is like missing a leaky faucet—sure, it's annoying when it's dripping, but once it's fixed, you realize how much quieter life can be without the constant drip, drip, drip of betrayal."
The Deception Dilemma: "Because missing your cheating ex is like missing a bad case of food poisoning—sure, it was intense while it lasted, but now that it's over, you can finally enjoy a meal without the fear of projectile vomiting."
The Cheater's Conundrum: "Because missing your cheating ex is like missing a flat tire on a road trip—sure, it's a bump in the road, but once you change it and keep driving, you realize how much smoother the journey is without the constant threat of a blowout."
1 year ago
1 year ago
1 year ago
Makes you want to get some coffe though
Most expensive coffee money can buy
Your company logo shouldn't be sexy trust our underpaid intern on this with his fever dream 5 reasons why
"Sales Sizzle to Fizzle":
"A sexy logo might turn heads, but it could also turn away customers faster than you can say 'sales slump.'"
"Inappropriate Impressions":
"A sexy logo could give the wrong impression, leaving customers wondering if they stumbled into the wrong place."
"Awkward Office Encounters":
"Explaining a sultry logo in a board meeting? Awkward. Keep it professional to avoid blushing faces."
"Legal Love Triangle":
"A sexy logo could land your company in a legal mess faster than you can say 'copyright infringement.'"
"Not Safe for Networking":
"A logo that's too sexy might steal the spotlight at networking events. Keep it PG for smoother connections."
Your company logo shouldn't be sexy trust our underpaid intern on this with his fever dream 5 reasons why
"Sales Sizzle to Fizzle":
"A sexy logo might turn heads, but it could also turn away customers faster than you can say 'sales slump.'"
"Inappropriate Impressions":
"A sexy logo could give the wrong impression, leaving customers wondering if they stumbled into the wrong place."
"Awkward Office Encounters":
"Explaining a sultry logo in a board meeting? Awkward. Keep it professional to avoid blushing faces."
"Legal Love Triangle":
"A sexy logo could land your company in a legal mess faster than you can say 'copyright infringement.'"
"Not Safe for Networking":
"A logo that's too sexy might steal the spotlight at networking events. Keep it PG for smoother connections."
1 year ago
Kids and their debt
Do they get it from gambling ?
Banks your new market share awaits! Just make sure to colect if those payments don't come through!
"The Kiddie Cash Caper": Banks love nothing more than exploiting innocent children for profit. By luring them into debt with promises of candy and toys, they can trap them in a vicious cycle of financial servitude from a young age. And when little Tommy can't pay up, it's time to send in the loan sharks disguised as friendly neighborhood ice cream trucks.
"The Playground Predatory Practices": Banks see children as easy targets for their nefarious schemes. By offering them loans they can never hope to repay, they ensure a lifetime of debt bondage and servitude. And when little Jenny misses a payment, it's time for the debt collectors to pay her lemonade stand a visit and repossess her prized stuffed animals.
"The Candy Coercion Conspiracy": Banks will stop at nothing to get their grubby hands on children's hard-earned candy money. By preying on their sweet tooth and offering them loans they can't refuse, they ensure a steady stream of profits for years to come. And when little Timmy can't pay his debts, it's time to send in the repo team to snatch away his Halloween candy and birthday presents.
"The Tooth Fairy Extortion Racket": Banks see children's innocence as a weakness to be exploited for their own gain. By loaning them money and demanding exorbitant interest rates, they ensure a lifetime of indentured servitude and financial ruin. And when little Susie can't pay her debts, it's time to break out the kneecap kneader and teach her a lesson she won't soon forget.
"The Sandbox Shakedown Scheme": Banks view children as nothing more than cash cows to be milked for all they're worth. By trapping them in a web of debt from a young age, they ensure a lifetime of dependency and servitude. And when little Emily can't pay her debts, it's time to foreclose on her sandbox and evict her from her own backyard.
Banks your new market share awaits! Just make sure to colect if those payments don't come through!
"The Kiddie Cash Caper": Banks love nothing more than exploiting innocent children for profit. By luring them into debt with promises of candy and toys, they can trap them in a vicious cycle of financial servitude from a young age. And when little Tommy can't pay up, it's time to send in the loan sharks disguised as friendly neighborhood ice cream trucks.
"The Playground Predatory Practices": Banks see children as easy targets for their nefarious schemes. By offering them loans they can never hope to repay, they ensure a lifetime of debt bondage and servitude. And when little Jenny misses a payment, it's time for the debt collectors to pay her lemonade stand a visit and repossess her prized stuffed animals.
"The Candy Coercion Conspiracy": Banks will stop at nothing to get their grubby hands on children's hard-earned candy money. By preying on their sweet tooth and offering them loans they can't refuse, they ensure a steady stream of profits for years to come. And when little Timmy can't pay his debts, it's time to send in the repo team to snatch away his Halloween candy and birthday presents.
"The Tooth Fairy Extortion Racket": Banks see children's innocence as a weakness to be exploited for their own gain. By loaning them money and demanding exorbitant interest rates, they ensure a lifetime of indentured servitude and financial ruin. And when little Susie can't pay her debts, it's time to break out the kneecap kneader and teach her a lesson she won't soon forget.
"The Sandbox Shakedown Scheme": Banks view children as nothing more than cash cows to be milked for all they're worth. By trapping them in a web of debt from a young age, they ensure a lifetime of dependency and servitude. And when little Emily can't pay her debts, it's time to foreclose on her sandbox and evict her from her own backyard.
