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2 years ago
He's 24 and drunk
Is it too late for an abortion? Legally yes but if it were legal here's some reasons why you would WANT to get it:
The Overdue Omelette: "Because at 24, he's less of a son and more of an uninvited houseguest who's overstayed his welcome. Time to crack some eggs and make a frittata!"
The Late Bloomer Loophole: "Because if he's still living in your basement at 24, chances are he's never going to blossom into the responsible adult you hoped for. Might as well nip that bud before it turns into a thorn in your side."
The Extended Umbilical Cord: "Because cutting the cord at birth is one thing, but at 24, he's practically knitting himself a cozy sweater out of it. Time to snip and set him free into the wild, where he can learn to fend for himself."
The "Me, Myself, and I" Mentality: "Because at 24, he's more interested in 'Me, Myself, and Instagram' than contributing to household chores or paying rent. It's time to reclaim your space and sanity."
The "You're Never Too Old to Reboot" Rationalization: "Because sometimes life feels like a bad movie sequel, and at 24, he's still stuck in the prequel stage. Time for a reboot where you play the lead role—without any unwanted side characters cluttering up the script!"
The Overdue Omelette: "Because at 24, he's less of a son and more of an uninvited houseguest who's overstayed his welcome. Time to crack some eggs and make a frittata!"
The Late Bloomer Loophole: "Because if he's still living in your basement at 24, chances are he's never going to blossom into the responsible adult you hoped for. Might as well nip that bud before it turns into a thorn in your side."
The Extended Umbilical Cord: "Because cutting the cord at birth is one thing, but at 24, he's practically knitting himself a cozy sweater out of it. Time to snip and set him free into the wild, where he can learn to fend for himself."
The "Me, Myself, and I" Mentality: "Because at 24, he's more interested in 'Me, Myself, and Instagram' than contributing to household chores or paying rent. It's time to reclaim your space and sanity."
The "You're Never Too Old to Reboot" Rationalization: "Because sometimes life feels like a bad movie sequel, and at 24, he's still stuck in the prequel stage. Time for a reboot where you play the lead role—without any unwanted side characters cluttering up the script!"
2 years ago
2 years ago
Subaru meet according to AI
Pretty accurate
Here are five humorous reasons a vape smoker might own a Subaru:
Cloud-Chasing Commutes: Subaru cars are renowned for their spacious interiors, perfect for generating massive vape clouds while cruising down the highway. It's like having a built-in fog machine on wheels!
Hipster Highway Havens: Subaru's rugged yet stylish designs appeal to the hipster crowd, providing the perfect backdrop for Instagram-worthy vape selfies in scenic locations. Because nothing says "cool" like vaping in a forest with your Subaru in the background.
All-Wheel Drive Adventure: Subaru's reputation for off-road capability makes it the ideal choice for vape smokers who love to explore the great outdoors. Whether it's vaping on a mountaintop or in a secluded forest clearing, Subaru owners can always find the perfect spot to puff away.
Impressive Cargo Capacity: Subaru's versatile cargo space offers plenty of room for storing all the essentials for a vape smoker's road trip, from spare vape batteries to an assortment of e-liquid flavors. Plus, there's ample space for stashing snacks for those inevitable vape-induced munchies.
Subaru's "Vape Nation" Edition: Rumor has it that Subaru is planning to release a special edition model tailored specifically to vape smokers, complete with custom vape holders, integrated vape charging stations, and a "Vape Nation" decal package. Because why settle for a regular car when you can drive a vape-tastic Subaru?
Here are five humorous reasons a vape smoker might own a Subaru:
Cloud-Chasing Commutes: Subaru cars are renowned for their spacious interiors, perfect for generating massive vape clouds while cruising down the highway. It's like having a built-in fog machine on wheels!
Hipster Highway Havens: Subaru's rugged yet stylish designs appeal to the hipster crowd, providing the perfect backdrop for Instagram-worthy vape selfies in scenic locations. Because nothing says "cool" like vaping in a forest with your Subaru in the background.
All-Wheel Drive Adventure: Subaru's reputation for off-road capability makes it the ideal choice for vape smokers who love to explore the great outdoors. Whether it's vaping on a mountaintop or in a secluded forest clearing, Subaru owners can always find the perfect spot to puff away.
Impressive Cargo Capacity: Subaru's versatile cargo space offers plenty of room for storing all the essentials for a vape smoker's road trip, from spare vape batteries to an assortment of e-liquid flavors. Plus, there's ample space for stashing snacks for those inevitable vape-induced munchies.
Subaru's "Vape Nation" Edition: Rumor has it that Subaru is planning to release a special edition model tailored specifically to vape smokers, complete with custom vape holders, integrated vape charging stations, and a "Vape Nation" decal package. Because why settle for a regular car when you can drive a vape-tastic Subaru?
2 years ago
Eggslut needs protection
She has to eat this bowl of eggs though. From eggslut the restaurant that needs military protection for some reason! We don't know the real reason but we make bullshit up on this website so...we made some bullshit up:
Because the Eggs are Armed and Dangerous: Those eggs aren't just cracked; they're crack shots! With their perfectly runny yolks and lethal aim, they pose a serious threat to anyone who dares to poach them.
Top-Secret Egg Recipes: Rumor has it that Eggslut's recipes are so classified, they make Area 51 look like a leaky sieve. The military is on high alert to prevent rival chefs from infiltrating and stealing their closely guarded egg-centric secrets.
Eggsplosive Toppings: Their signature dishes are loaded with toppings so explosive, they make a landmine look like a firecracker. From bacon bombs to cheese grenades, the military's job is to ensure that no one gets too egg-cited and sets off a flavor explosion.
Omelette Overlords: The omelette chefs at Eggslut are not to be trifled with. With their lightning-fast whisking skills and uncanny ability to flip eggs with military precision, they command respect and, apparently, armed protection.
Yolk-Stealing Bandits: There's a notorious gang of yolk-stealing bandits known as the "Eggscapers" who will stop at nothing to pilfer Eggslut's precious golden yolks. With the military's protection, those yolks are safe from sunny-side-up snatchers.
Because the Eggs are Armed and Dangerous: Those eggs aren't just cracked; they're crack shots! With their perfectly runny yolks and lethal aim, they pose a serious threat to anyone who dares to poach them.
Top-Secret Egg Recipes: Rumor has it that Eggslut's recipes are so classified, they make Area 51 look like a leaky sieve. The military is on high alert to prevent rival chefs from infiltrating and stealing their closely guarded egg-centric secrets.
Eggsplosive Toppings: Their signature dishes are loaded with toppings so explosive, they make a landmine look like a firecracker. From bacon bombs to cheese grenades, the military's job is to ensure that no one gets too egg-cited and sets off a flavor explosion.
Omelette Overlords: The omelette chefs at Eggslut are not to be trifled with. With their lightning-fast whisking skills and uncanny ability to flip eggs with military precision, they command respect and, apparently, armed protection.
Yolk-Stealing Bandits: There's a notorious gang of yolk-stealing bandits known as the "Eggscapers" who will stop at nothing to pilfer Eggslut's precious golden yolks. With the military's protection, those yolks are safe from sunny-side-up snatchers.
2 years ago
Chris Chan Moment
Awkward and unwholesome...that ass though and I can say it we're not related. Complimenting your mothers ass is just awkward so have some reasons (ifyou even need any) not to do it:
"The Oedipal Odyssey": Complimenting your mother's awesome ass is like stepping into a Freudian nightmare. It's not just awkward; it's a one-way ticket to years of therapy and unresolved mommy issues. Best to keep those compliments strictly above the waist.
"The Maternal Mix-Up": Complimenting your mother's awesome ass is like accidentally texting your ex "I miss you" instead of your new crush. It's a cringe-worthy mistake that'll haunt you for years to come—and probably end up in a family therapy session or two.
"The Freudian Slip-Up": Complimenting your mother's awesome ass is like playing Russian roulette with your relationship. One wrong move and you'll find yourself in a conversation so uncomfortable, even the family dog will start to squirm. It's best to keep the compliments platonic and the boundaries intact.
"The Freudian Foot-in-Mouth": Complimenting your mother's awesome ass is like putting your foot in your mouth—except instead of foot odor, it's the stench of awkwardness that lingers in the air. It's a social faux pas of epic proportions, destined to become the stuff of family legend.
"The Oedipal Oopsie-Daisy": Complimenting your mother's awesome ass is like accidentally calling your teacher "mom" in front of the whole class. It's a cringe-worthy moment that'll live on in family lore for generations to come—and probably earn you a spot on the therapist's couch.
"The Oedipal Odyssey": Complimenting your mother's awesome ass is like stepping into a Freudian nightmare. It's not just awkward; it's a one-way ticket to years of therapy and unresolved mommy issues. Best to keep those compliments strictly above the waist.
"The Maternal Mix-Up": Complimenting your mother's awesome ass is like accidentally texting your ex "I miss you" instead of your new crush. It's a cringe-worthy mistake that'll haunt you for years to come—and probably end up in a family therapy session or two.
"The Freudian Slip-Up": Complimenting your mother's awesome ass is like playing Russian roulette with your relationship. One wrong move and you'll find yourself in a conversation so uncomfortable, even the family dog will start to squirm. It's best to keep the compliments platonic and the boundaries intact.
"The Freudian Foot-in-Mouth": Complimenting your mother's awesome ass is like putting your foot in your mouth—except instead of foot odor, it's the stench of awkwardness that lingers in the air. It's a social faux pas of epic proportions, destined to become the stuff of family legend.
"The Oedipal Oopsie-Daisy": Complimenting your mother's awesome ass is like accidentally calling your teacher "mom" in front of the whole class. It's a cringe-worthy moment that'll live on in family lore for generations to come—and probably earn you a spot on the therapist's couch.
2 years ago
Would you take a selfie in those circumstances?
I'd be thinking about staging a distraction to be honest!
Well people love selfies i guess but we bring a warning of a few other situations where you should keep your phone in your pocket!
"The Dentist's Chair Disaster": Midway through a root canal, with half your face numb and a dental dam in place, is probably not the best time to whip out your phone for a selfie. Plus, who wants to immortalize their drooling, half-paralyzed face for all eternity?
"The Porta-Potty Peril": Taking a selfie in a portable toilet might seem like a funny idea at a music festival or outdoor event, but let's face it—nobody wants to see the inside of a porta-potty, especially not with you in it. Some moments are best left unphotographed.
"The Funeral Faux Pas": Attending a funeral is a somber occasion that calls for respect and sensitivity, not duckface selfies and peace signs. Plus, do you really want your lasting memory of a loved one to be a selfie taken in the midst of grief?
"The Emergency Room Error": In the midst of a medical emergency, with doctors and nurses rushing around you, it's probably not the time to stop and snap a selfie. Plus, imagine trying to explain to the ER staff why you felt the need to document your broken leg in real-time.
"The Crime Scene Catastrophe": If you find yourself in the middle of a crime scene investigation, resist the urge to snap a selfie with the police tape and evidence markers in the background. Not only is it disrespectful to the victims and investigators, but it could also land you in some serious trouble with the law.
Well people love selfies i guess but we bring a warning of a few other situations where you should keep your phone in your pocket!
"The Dentist's Chair Disaster": Midway through a root canal, with half your face numb and a dental dam in place, is probably not the best time to whip out your phone for a selfie. Plus, who wants to immortalize their drooling, half-paralyzed face for all eternity?
"The Porta-Potty Peril": Taking a selfie in a portable toilet might seem like a funny idea at a music festival or outdoor event, but let's face it—nobody wants to see the inside of a porta-potty, especially not with you in it. Some moments are best left unphotographed.
"The Funeral Faux Pas": Attending a funeral is a somber occasion that calls for respect and sensitivity, not duckface selfies and peace signs. Plus, do you really want your lasting memory of a loved one to be a selfie taken in the midst of grief?
"The Emergency Room Error": In the midst of a medical emergency, with doctors and nurses rushing around you, it's probably not the time to stop and snap a selfie. Plus, imagine trying to explain to the ER staff why you felt the need to document your broken leg in real-time.
"The Crime Scene Catastrophe": If you find yourself in the middle of a crime scene investigation, resist the urge to snap a selfie with the police tape and evidence markers in the background. Not only is it disrespectful to the victims and investigators, but it could also land you in some serious trouble with the law.
2 years ago
The opposite of wholesome
This just bummed me out a bit
Here are five cringeworthy social media statuses about breakups:
"Just changed my relationship status to 'single'... because apparently, 'in a relationship with Netflix' isn't a valid option. #NetflixAndNoChill"
"It's official: I'm now accepting applications for a rebound relationship. Must love dogs and tolerate my questionable taste in romantic comedies. Apply within!"
"Breaking up is like unfollowing someone in real life. Consider this your notification that I'm unfriending you from my heart. #UnfriendZone"
"Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm now single and ready to mingle with anyone who doesn't snore louder than a chainsaw. #NoSnoreMoreAmour"
"Just realized my ex's favorite emoji was the trash can. Well, joke's on them – I've upgraded to the recycling bin. ♻️ #DumpedAndGreen"
Here are five cringeworthy social media statuses about breakups:
"Just changed my relationship status to 'single'... because apparently, 'in a relationship with Netflix' isn't a valid option. #NetflixAndNoChill"
"It's official: I'm now accepting applications for a rebound relationship. Must love dogs and tolerate my questionable taste in romantic comedies. Apply within!"
"Breaking up is like unfollowing someone in real life. Consider this your notification that I'm unfriending you from my heart. #UnfriendZone"
"Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm now single and ready to mingle with anyone who doesn't snore louder than a chainsaw. #NoSnoreMoreAmour"
"Just realized my ex's favorite emoji was the trash can. Well, joke's on them – I've upgraded to the recycling bin. ♻️ #DumpedAndGreen"
