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3 months ago
Got caught on onlyfans
Deposit amount 7.21$. Or 50,000$ if she's actually good at it. Though the problem persists she got caught. Here's some top tier excuses to give your parents when they find out you made an OnlyFans:
"The Entrepreneurial Endeavor": "I'm just trying to diversify my portfolio, Mom and Dad! OnlyFans seemed like a more lucrative investment than the stock market—plus, I heard they're giving out signing bonuses."
"The Artistic Expression": "It's performance art, Dad. I'm exploring the intersection of nudity and existentialism, pushing the boundaries of society's expectations and challenging the notion of what it means to be human. Also, I needed rent money."
"The Catfish Caper": "I'm not actually on OnlyFans, Mom. Someone must have stolen my identity and set up a fake account using all my photos and personal information. It's a classic case of online impersonation—honestly, I'm flattered they think I'm hot enough to scam people."
"The Social Experiment": "I'm conducting a groundbreaking sociological study on the commodification of intimacy in the digital age. It's all in the name of science, Mom—I swear! Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to analyzing my subscriber demographics."
"The Digital Nomad Dream": "I've decided to quit my day job and become a full-time content creator, Dad. OnlyFans is just the beginning—I'm planning to expand into YouTube, Twitch, and maybe even TikTok if I can figure out how to dance. It's the millennial dream, really—working from home in my pajamas and getting paid to be myself."
"The Entrepreneurial Endeavor": "I'm just trying to diversify my portfolio, Mom and Dad! OnlyFans seemed like a more lucrative investment than the stock market—plus, I heard they're giving out signing bonuses."
"The Artistic Expression": "It's performance art, Dad. I'm exploring the intersection of nudity and existentialism, pushing the boundaries of society's expectations and challenging the notion of what it means to be human. Also, I needed rent money."
"The Catfish Caper": "I'm not actually on OnlyFans, Mom. Someone must have stolen my identity and set up a fake account using all my photos and personal information. It's a classic case of online impersonation—honestly, I'm flattered they think I'm hot enough to scam people."
"The Social Experiment": "I'm conducting a groundbreaking sociological study on the commodification of intimacy in the digital age. It's all in the name of science, Mom—I swear! Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to analyzing my subscriber demographics."
"The Digital Nomad Dream": "I've decided to quit my day job and become a full-time content creator, Dad. OnlyFans is just the beginning—I'm planning to expand into YouTube, Twitch, and maybe even TikTok if I can figure out how to dance. It's the millennial dream, really—working from home in my pajamas and getting paid to be myself."
3 months ago
I got meme posting today!
I decided i'd rather do this then professional Fortnite
Here are five humorous and relaxing tasks an unemployed person might dread waking up to in the morning:
"Fifteen Minutes of Staring Contest with the Ceiling Fan": Get ready to lock eyes with your biggest fan—literally. It's a battle of wills as you try to outlast the hypnotic rotation of your trusty ceiling companion. Winner gets bragging rights and a slight neck cramp.
"Extreme Pillow Fluffing Championship": Think fluffing pillows is easy? Think again! Strap on your wrist guards and prepare for an intense workout as you fluff, flop, and toss your way to pillow perfection. Bonus points for achieving maximum fluffiness without breaking a sweat.
"Coffee Mug Artistry Workshop": Unleash your inner barista and get ready to create a masterpiece with your morning cup of joe. From intricate foam designs to avant-garde latte swirls, the possibilities are endless—assuming you can muster the energy to lift the coffee pot.
"Naptime Olympics Training Session": It's time to hone your napping skills with a rigorous training regimen fit for a champion. From perfecting your pillow placement to mastering the art of the power nap, every snooze is a step closer to gold medal glory.
"Synchronized TV Remote Clicking Routine": Grab your remote and get ready to channel surf like never before. With precision timing and lightning-fast reflexes, you'll navigate through endless channels of infomercials, soap operas, and reality TV marathons—all while avoiding the dreaded "no signal" screen.
Here are five humorous and relaxing tasks an unemployed person might dread waking up to in the morning:
"Fifteen Minutes of Staring Contest with the Ceiling Fan": Get ready to lock eyes with your biggest fan—literally. It's a battle of wills as you try to outlast the hypnotic rotation of your trusty ceiling companion. Winner gets bragging rights and a slight neck cramp.
"Extreme Pillow Fluffing Championship": Think fluffing pillows is easy? Think again! Strap on your wrist guards and prepare for an intense workout as you fluff, flop, and toss your way to pillow perfection. Bonus points for achieving maximum fluffiness without breaking a sweat.
"Coffee Mug Artistry Workshop": Unleash your inner barista and get ready to create a masterpiece with your morning cup of joe. From intricate foam designs to avant-garde latte swirls, the possibilities are endless—assuming you can muster the energy to lift the coffee pot.
"Naptime Olympics Training Session": It's time to hone your napping skills with a rigorous training regimen fit for a champion. From perfecting your pillow placement to mastering the art of the power nap, every snooze is a step closer to gold medal glory.
"Synchronized TV Remote Clicking Routine": Grab your remote and get ready to channel surf like never before. With precision timing and lightning-fast reflexes, you'll navigate through endless channels of infomercials, soap operas, and reality TV marathons—all while avoiding the dreaded "no signal" screen.
3 months ago
My kind of consipracy theory
A real VIP -very important primate. All I want to take from this meme is the conspiracy theory is George W Bush is Harambe's father.
That's it I'm dead set on this. Here are 5 conspiracy theories eluding to the fact that George W Bush is Harambe's dad:
The Banana Bill: Rumor has it that George W. Bush's favorite snack during his presidency wasn't pretzels, but bananas. Some speculate that his affinity for this fruit led him to frequent visits to the zoo, where he developed a special bond with a certain gorilla named Harambe.
The Texas Troop Theory: Conspiracy theorists claim that George W. Bush, a proud Texan, has a secret militia of loyal gorillas hidden away in the Lone Star State. Harambe, being the most famous of these gorillas, is said to have been groomed for greatness from birth.
The Dubya DNA Debate: Unverified reports suggest that traces of presidential DNA were found in Harambe's enclosure shortly before his tragic demise. Some speculate that this was part of a covert operation to cover up the truth about Harambe's true parentage.
The Oval Office Orangutan: According to this theory, George W. Bush's family tree has a few unexpected branches—including a distant cousin who happened to be an orangutan. Could Harambe be the missing link between humans and primates in the Bush family tree?
The Wacky White House Wildlife: It's no secret that the White House has housed some unusual pets over the years, from alligators to raccoons. But could a gorilla named Harambe have been among them? Some believe that George W. Bush kept Harambe as a secret pet during his time in office, raising him like a son before releasing him into the wild.
That's it I'm dead set on this. Here are 5 conspiracy theories eluding to the fact that George W Bush is Harambe's dad:
The Banana Bill: Rumor has it that George W. Bush's favorite snack during his presidency wasn't pretzels, but bananas. Some speculate that his affinity for this fruit led him to frequent visits to the zoo, where he developed a special bond with a certain gorilla named Harambe.
The Texas Troop Theory: Conspiracy theorists claim that George W. Bush, a proud Texan, has a secret militia of loyal gorillas hidden away in the Lone Star State. Harambe, being the most famous of these gorillas, is said to have been groomed for greatness from birth.
The Dubya DNA Debate: Unverified reports suggest that traces of presidential DNA were found in Harambe's enclosure shortly before his tragic demise. Some speculate that this was part of a covert operation to cover up the truth about Harambe's true parentage.
The Oval Office Orangutan: According to this theory, George W. Bush's family tree has a few unexpected branches—including a distant cousin who happened to be an orangutan. Could Harambe be the missing link between humans and primates in the Bush family tree?
The Wacky White House Wildlife: It's no secret that the White House has housed some unusual pets over the years, from alligators to raccoons. But could a gorilla named Harambe have been among them? Some believe that George W. Bush kept Harambe as a secret pet during his time in office, raising him like a son before releasing him into the wild.
1 month ago
1 month ago
3 months ago
Speaking harsh truths
Something she didn't want to hear. His lackluster fighting prowess is known internationally though! Here's some examples of why he should go to self defense classes:
"The Paper Tiger Paradox": "Because despite his tough exterior, her man has the fighting prowess of a kitten tangled in yarn. Sure, he might throw a mean punch, but when push comes to shove, he's more likely to trip over his own shoelaces than land a knockout blow."
"The Pillow Punch Predicament": "Because even though he talks a big game, her man's idea of a fight involves flailing his arms like a windmill and hoping for the best. It's like watching a toddler throw a tantrum—lots of noise, but zero impact."
"The Conflict-Resolution Comedy": "Because whenever they argue, her man's attempts at intimidation are about as effective as trying to scare off a grizzly bear with a rubber duck. He might puff out his chest and roar like a lion, but deep down, he's more of a scaredy-cat than a king of the jungle."
"The Chicken Wing Showdown": "Because when it comes to throwing down, her man's signature move is the 'chicken wing'—a half-hearted attempt at aggression that usually ends with him flapping his arms like a distressed poultry. It's less 'Rocky' and more 'Rubber Chicken.'"
"The Pacifist Punchline": "Because her man's idea of a fight involves more apologies than actual punches. He's like a human punching bag—taking hit after hit with a smile on his face and a 'sorry' on his lips. It's less 'Fight Club' and more 'Hug Club.'"
"The Paper Tiger Paradox": "Because despite his tough exterior, her man has the fighting prowess of a kitten tangled in yarn. Sure, he might throw a mean punch, but when push comes to shove, he's more likely to trip over his own shoelaces than land a knockout blow."
"The Pillow Punch Predicament": "Because even though he talks a big game, her man's idea of a fight involves flailing his arms like a windmill and hoping for the best. It's like watching a toddler throw a tantrum—lots of noise, but zero impact."
"The Conflict-Resolution Comedy": "Because whenever they argue, her man's attempts at intimidation are about as effective as trying to scare off a grizzly bear with a rubber duck. He might puff out his chest and roar like a lion, but deep down, he's more of a scaredy-cat than a king of the jungle."
"The Chicken Wing Showdown": "Because when it comes to throwing down, her man's signature move is the 'chicken wing'—a half-hearted attempt at aggression that usually ends with him flapping his arms like a distressed poultry. It's less 'Rocky' and more 'Rubber Chicken.'"
"The Pacifist Punchline": "Because her man's idea of a fight involves more apologies than actual punches. He's like a human punching bag—taking hit after hit with a smile on his face and a 'sorry' on his lips. It's less 'Fight Club' and more 'Hug Club.'"
3 months ago
Built in Antenna
Wonder what form of government Antenna has! It's worth visiting any time of year that place is fun AF! Here are some totally not made up facts about Antenna the Constitutional Democracy maybe :
The National Sport of Antenna: Gnome Racing: Antenna takes pride in its quirky national sport, gnome racing. Every year, locals gather to watch as garden gnomes compete in high-speed races down specially designed tracks, complete with obstacles like miniature mushroom forests and tiny hedge mazes.
The Official National Pet of Antenna: Llama-Dactyls: In Antenna, llamas and pterodactyls are more than just prehistoric creatures—they're beloved national pets known as llama-dactyls. These whimsical hybrid animals are a common sight in Antennan households, where they're trained to fetch the morning newspaper and provide aerial rides for children.
The National Dish of Antenna: Disco Dumplings: Antenna's culinary scene is renowned for its eclectic fusion cuisine, with one standout dish being disco dumplings. These glittery dumplings are stuffed with a mix of exotic ingredients and served with a side of neon dipping sauce, adding a touch of sparkle to every meal.
The National Transportation System of Antenna: Hoverboard Highways: Forget about cars and bicycles—Antenna's futuristic transportation system revolves around hoverboards. Citizens zip around the country on sleek, levitating boards, gliding effortlessly along a network of rainbow-colored highways suspended in mid-air.
The National Holiday of Antenna: Sock Puppet Day: Antenna celebrates its unique cultural heritage with quirky holidays like Sock Puppet Day. On this special occasion, citizens don their most elaborate sock puppet creations and participate in parades, puppet shows, and sock puppet crafting workshops throughout the country.
The National Sport of Antenna: Gnome Racing: Antenna takes pride in its quirky national sport, gnome racing. Every year, locals gather to watch as garden gnomes compete in high-speed races down specially designed tracks, complete with obstacles like miniature mushroom forests and tiny hedge mazes.
The Official National Pet of Antenna: Llama-Dactyls: In Antenna, llamas and pterodactyls are more than just prehistoric creatures—they're beloved national pets known as llama-dactyls. These whimsical hybrid animals are a common sight in Antennan households, where they're trained to fetch the morning newspaper and provide aerial rides for children.
The National Dish of Antenna: Disco Dumplings: Antenna's culinary scene is renowned for its eclectic fusion cuisine, with one standout dish being disco dumplings. These glittery dumplings are stuffed with a mix of exotic ingredients and served with a side of neon dipping sauce, adding a touch of sparkle to every meal.
The National Transportation System of Antenna: Hoverboard Highways: Forget about cars and bicycles—Antenna's futuristic transportation system revolves around hoverboards. Citizens zip around the country on sleek, levitating boards, gliding effortlessly along a network of rainbow-colored highways suspended in mid-air.
The National Holiday of Antenna: Sock Puppet Day: Antenna celebrates its unique cultural heritage with quirky holidays like Sock Puppet Day. On this special occasion, citizens don their most elaborate sock puppet creations and participate in parades, puppet shows, and sock puppet crafting workshops throughout the country.
