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New Content Tagged with

family

Cat
3 months ago
Spot List
Cat
3 months ago
How to prepare
Hope the algorithm is mistaken and her butt was safe
How to prepare
Cat
3 months ago
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Cat
3 months ago
Age hits hard
Trying for kids is the fun part though
Age hits hard
Cat
3 months ago
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Cat
3 months ago
Cat
3 months ago
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Cat
3 months ago
Knowing your kids well
They both know she might have started it but the mom is thinking about not incriminating her
Knowing your kids well
Cat
3 months ago
Speechless right now
Good thing she didn't say literally speechless
Speechless right now
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Cat
3 months ago
Cat
3 months ago
Spot List
Cat
3 months ago
Cat
5 months ago
Spot List
Cat
5 months ago
Every time someone rich gives financial advice
But it's because you spend money on coffee and avocado toast though. I'm obviously not rich, shocker right, so I was thinking maybe rich people should shut the fuck up regarding the stuff they say regarding WHY they are rich in the first place! Maybe don't patronize us poorys. here are a few reasons why the rich should shut the fuck up sometimes:

"The Trust Fund Tyrants": Hey, Mr. Moneybags, your financial advice is about as helpful as a screen door on a submarine. When your biggest concern is which diamond-studded watch to wear, the rest of us are just trying to figure out how to afford groceries. So how about you take a seat in your ivory tower and leave the real advice to those of us who actually have to work for a living?

"The Silver Spoon Sages": Listen up, Princess Prada, your financial wisdom is about as relevant as a snowplow in the Sahara. While you're busy sipping champagne on your private jet, the rest of us are struggling to make ends meet. Maybe instead of lecturing us about investments, you could try donating some of that excess cash to charity—assuming you even know what that word means.

"The Wealthy Whiners": Oh, boo-hoo, Mr. Moneybags, did your stock portfolio take a hit? Cry me a river, why don't you? While you're sulking in your penthouse suite, the rest of us are scraping by on minimum wage. So how about you spare us the sob story about your yacht maintenance fees and try living in the real world for once?

"The Greedy Goblins": Hey there, Scrooge McRich, ever hear of the phrase "money can't buy happiness"? Probably not, considering you've never had to worry about paying rent or affording healthcare. Maybe instead of hoarding your wealth like a dragon with its gold, you could try spreading some of that financial advice to those who actually need it—like, I don't know, the 99% of us who aren't swimming in gold coins.

"The Privileged Pricks": Newsflash, Richie Rich, your financial advice is about as useful as a chocolate teapot. When your idea of a financial struggle is deciding which summer home to vacation in, you might want to reconsider doling out advice to those of us who are just trying to make it to payday without overdrawing our bank accounts. So how about you take your trust fund and shove it where the sun don't shine?
Every time someone rich gives financial advice
Cat
5 months ago
Cool Grandpa
Cool grandpa sadly implies the existence of lame grandpa. So what makes this grandpa cool? Maybe some of these :

"The TikTok Tango": "Grandpa busts out his best TikTok dance moves at family gatherings, complete with the latest viral dance crazes and hip-hop beats. Who needs a walker when you've got moves like Jagger?"

"The Snapchat Spectacle": "Grandpa's Snapchat game is strong, with daily updates featuring selfies, filters, and the occasional cat video. Sure, his friends might not understand it, but he's got a loyal following of grandkids who think he's the coolest."

"The Fortnite Frenzy": "Grandpa joins his grandkids for epic Fortnite battles, showing off his impressive skills and trash-talking opponents with the best of them. Who knew that years of gaming experience would finally pay off in his golden years?"

"The Instagram Icon": "Grandpa becomes an Instagram influencer, sharing photos of his daily adventures and dispensing sage advice to his loyal followers. From #OOTD posts to #FoodieFriday pics, he's a social media sensation with a heart of gold."

"The Zoom Zinger": "Grandpa hosts virtual game nights and movie marathons on Zoom, keeping the family connected across generations. With his quick wit and infectious laughter, he's the life of the (virtual) party—and the envy of every other grandpa on the block."
Cool Grandpa
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Cat
5 months ago
Got caught on onlyfans
Deposit amount 7.21$. Or 50,000$ if she's actually good at it. Though the problem persists she got caught. Here's some top tier excuses to give your parents when they find out you made an OnlyFans:

"The Entrepreneurial Endeavor": "I'm just trying to diversify my portfolio, Mom and Dad! OnlyFans seemed like a more lucrative investment than the stock market—plus, I heard they're giving out signing bonuses."

"The Artistic Expression": "It's performance art, Dad. I'm exploring the intersection of nudity and existentialism, pushing the boundaries of society's expectations and challenging the notion of what it means to be human. Also, I needed rent money."

"The Catfish Caper": "I'm not actually on OnlyFans, Mom. Someone must have stolen my identity and set up a fake account using all my photos and personal information. It's a classic case of online impersonation—honestly, I'm flattered they think I'm hot enough to scam people."

"The Social Experiment": "I'm conducting a groundbreaking sociological study on the commodification of intimacy in the digital age. It's all in the name of science, Mom—I swear! Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to analyzing my subscriber demographics."

"The Digital Nomad Dream": "I've decided to quit my day job and become a full-time content creator, Dad. OnlyFans is just the beginning—I'm planning to expand into YouTube, Twitch, and maybe even TikTok if I can figure out how to dance. It's the millennial dream, really—working from home in my pajamas and getting paid to be myself."
Got caught on onlyfans
Cat
5 months ago
Family dinner has never been this awkward before
Enjoy all new family watsapp groups. Not knowing anything about your family's sex life is a good thing! Here's a few reasons why:

"The TMI Tango": "Because hearing about your parents' sex life is like accidentally stumbling into a salsa class—you didn't sign up for this level of intimacy, and now you're stuck trying to gracefully dance your way out of the conversation."

"The Mental Ménage-à-trois": "Because trying to imagine your parents getting frisky is like trying to unsee a bad magic trick—you're left wondering how it happened and why anyone thought it was a good idea in the first place."

"The Awkward Oedipus Complex": "Because the last thing you want is to accidentally stumble upon evidence that your dad wears leopard-print underwear or your mom has a secret collection of romance novels hidden under her pillow. Some mysteries are best left unsolved."

"The Inheritance Indecision": "Because knowing too much about your parents' sex life is like finding out the family heirlooms were bought with dirty money—it just adds a whole new layer of awkwardness to the will-reading ceremony."

"The Parental Paradox": "Because trying to picture your parents as anything other than the people who embarrass you in public and leave passive-aggressive notes on the fridge is like trying to imagine your pet goldfish running for president—it's just too surreal to contemplate."
Family dinner has never been this awkward before
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Cat
5 months ago
Betrayed by family
At least he fixed it. That's life with siblings for you. I never trust my litter mates...i mean human siblings ever! Here's some reasons to never trust your siblings!

They're professional thieves... of your favorite snacks: You hide your chocolate stash in the back of the pantry, but somehow your sibling always manages to sniff it out like a bloodhound and devour it before you even get a chance to enjoy a single piece.

They're the ultimate backstabbers: You confide in them about your crush, and the next thing you know, they're cozying up to them like a long-lost friend, leaving you in the dust of their betrayal.

They're diabolical strategists: You innocently agree to a game of Monopoly, only to find out your sibling has been secretly hoarding all the prime properties and plotting your financial ruin since the game began. They don't just want to win; they want to see you suffer.

They're the kings/queens of gaslighting: You swear you left your phone charging on the kitchen counter, but your sibling insists they saw you take it to your room. Suddenly, you're questioning your own sanity, all thanks to their expert manipulation tactics.

They're the ultimate pranksters with no mercy: You fall asleep with one eye open because you know if you let your guard down, your sibling will strike with a vengeance. From freezing your toothpaste to replacing your shampoo with maple syrup, there's no limit to their cruelty.
Betrayed by family
Cat
5 months ago
Super Mad Terrible Mother
Another person who's going to be put in a home at 53. But we're all about excuses here, maybe she has some good reasons? As a fellow person with an IQ as large as my shoe size I thought up of these totally valid reasons why you shouldn't share your onlyfans money with your kids:

"College Fund? More Like Fortnite Fund": Why waste your hard-earned OnlyFans money on boring stuff like college tuition when you could be investing in something truly important—like your kid's Fortnite skins collection? After all, who needs a degree when you can dominate the Battle Royale scene?

"The Tooth Fairy's Got Competition": Forget about loose change under the pillow—the real money maker in town is your OnlyFans account. Your kids will thank you for keeping the cash flow steady and the tooth fairy in business. Who knew dental hygiene could be so profitable?

"Parenting by Subscription": With your OnlyFans income, you can subscribe to the ultimate parenting plan: outsourcing all your responsibilities to the nearest daycare center. Let the professionals handle the diapers and tantrums while you focus on more important things—like perfecting your selfie game.

"The Ultimate Show-and-Tell Flex": Forget about boring show-and-tell presentations featuring stuffed animals and family photos. Your kids will be the envy of the playground when they strut their stuff with a brand-new iPhone, courtesy of your OnlyFans earnings. Who needs friends when you have the latest tech gadgets?

"The Real MVP: Mom's Versace Purse": Your kids may not appreciate it now, but one day they'll thank you for keeping up appearances with your designer handbags and luxury accessories. Who needs food on the table when you can have the latest fashion trends at your fingertips?
Super Mad Terrible Mother
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Cat
5 months ago
Child labour!
Someone will grow up resenting his mom if that's their relation!
Maybe these reasons will convince you not to use your kid as a sexy photo shoot free labor photographer:

"The 'Sexy' Family Portrait Saga": Brace yourself for the most awkward family portrait session of all time. Forget matching sweaters—your family photo album will be filled with poses that would make even the Kardashians blush.

"Nursing Home Threats: A Comedy of Errors": Your child's revenge plot just got an upgrade from petty to hilarious. Get ready for retirement community shenanigans like never before—think bingo night sabotage and wheelchair races down the hallways.

"Blackmail, the Family Edition": Move over, FBI—you've just handed your child the ultimate leverage. From extra dessert negotiations to curfew extensions, they'll have Mom and Dad wrapped around their little finger faster than you can say "embarrassing childhood photos."

"Therapy, Family Style": Get ready to spill the beans to the family therapist about your failed attempt at a "sexy" photoshoot. Forget about addressing sibling rivalries and communication breakdowns—your therapy sessions just got a whole lot weirder.

"Parenting Fail: Rated R": Congratulations, you've officially earned the title of "World's Most Cringe-Worthy Parent." Move over, dad jokes—forcing your kid to be your makeshift photographer just secured your spot in the Parenting Hall of Shame for eternity.
Child labour!
Cat
5 months ago
Not the best daughter out there
Do your parents a favor and block them. They wish they were embarrassed in the wholesome ways we came up with after we finished playing checkers with the office cat

"The Cringeworthy Cosplay Catastrophe: Your daughter convinces you to join her in dressing up for a comic convention, but when you misinterpret the theme and show up in a costume that's a little too revealing, the resulting photoshoot becomes an unintentional parody of a spicy romance novel cover. Your cosplay fail goes viral, and you become known as "The Accidental Beefcake Dad."

"The Awkward Roleplay Revelation: During a family game night, your daughter suggests playing a round of charades, but things take a hilariously awkward turn when you unwittingly act out a scene from a raunchy romance novel instead. The resulting video clip becomes a viral sensation, earning you the title of "The Unintentional Erotic Enthusiast" and leading to some very uncomfortable explanations at the next family gathering.

"The Parental Pillow Talk Prank: Your daughter decides to prank you by secretly recording your reaction to finding a suggestive item in her room, but when you mistake it for a quirky household gadget and proceed to demonstrate its "proper" use, the resulting video becomes an instant classic. You become known as "The Unintentional Romance Guru," and your tutorial on household innovation goes viral, much to your daughter's embarrassment.

"The Inadvertent Dating Advice Disaster: Your daughter asks for your opinion on her dating profile, but when you accidentally swipe right on a particularly risqué match, chaos ensues. The ensuing date-from-hell story becomes a social media sensation, and you become known as "The Accidental Matchmaker Dad," much to your daughter's chagrin.

"The Parental Passion Project Gone Wrong: Your daughter convinces you to join her in creating a TikTok dance routine, but when your enthusiastic interpretation of the choreography takes a hilariously suggestive turn, the resulting video goes viral for all the wrong reasons. You become known as "The Unintentional TikTok Heartthrob Dad," and your dance moves inspire a wave of secondhand embarrassment across the internet.
Not the best daughter out there
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Cat
5 months ago
Fail with huge consequences
This hurt to read. A few reasons why not to fuck your family members as if Chris-Chan would read this page at one point and this info is needed.

"The Family Feud Fallout: Who needs Thanksgiving drama when you can have a lifetime of awkward family gatherings? Congratulations, you've just won the prestigious title of 'Most Likely to Ruin Family Reunions'—hope you enjoy explaining why you can never look Uncle Bob in the eye again.

"The Gene Pool Party Pooper: Ever dreamt of turning family gatherings into a game of genetic Russian roulette? Say hello to your worst nightmare: a lifetime of worrying whether your offspring will inherit Aunt Mildred's beady eyes or Uncle Frank's unibrow. Who knew that family tree could have so many twisted branches?

"The Incestuous Inquisition: Prepare for a lifetime of awkward questions and judgmental stares as you navigate the treacherous waters of sibling love. From uncomfortable interrogations by nosy neighbors to whispered gossip at family gatherings, you'll never escape the prying eyes of the incestuous inquisition.

"The Parental Pandemonium: Brace yourself for the ultimate showdown: facing your parents after they discover your taboo tryst. Get ready for a symphony of disappointed sighs, horrified gasps, and dramatic declarations of eternal damnation. Who knew that breaking the 'no sex with siblings' rule could have such dire consequences?

"The Freudian Fiasco: Congratulations, you've just earned yourself a lifetime subscription to Freudian therapy. Get ready to unpack years of unresolved childhood trauma, repressed memories, and Oedipal fantasies—all while trying to avoid making eye contact with your therapist. Remember: denial is just a river in Egypt.
Fail with huge consequences
Cat
5 months ago
At least he's honest
Hops his lowball gets turned down so we compiled a list of other lowball strategies that will get turned down in the spirit of this post

"The 'Penny for Your Porsche' Proposal: Trying to score a luxury car at a bargain-basement price by offering a laughably low sum that barely covers the cost of a cup of coffee. The seller, unimpressed by your attempt at frugality, kindly suggests you try the toy section instead.

"The 'Clunker for a Cadillac' Conundrum: Attempting to trade in your beat-up old jalopy for a sleek new sports car and expecting the dealer to jump at the chance. Unfortunately, your offer is met with a raised eyebrow and a polite suggestion to try the used car lot down the street.

"The 'Dollar Store Discount' Dilemma: Insisting on haggling over the price of a high-end vehicle as if you're negotiating the cost of a discount toaster. The salesperson, struggling to maintain their composure, politely informs you that cars aren't typically sold at Dollar General prices.

"The 'Lowball Limbo' Limelight: Getting so caught up in the excitement of lowballing that you find yourself stuck in a never-ending game of negotiation limbo. As you keep lowering your offer, the seller watches in amusement before finally putting an end to the charade and showing you the door.

"The 'Bargain Basement' Boondoggle: Deciding to take the lowball approach to the extreme by offering a fraction of the car's value and expecting the seller to take pity on you. Instead, you're met with incredulous stares and a polite but firm refusal, leaving you to contemplate your next move from the sidewalk.
At least he's honest
Spot List
Cat
5 months ago
Quarantine rules
A little day drinking never killed anyone!
We're adamant about it and encourage it responsibly (i have to say that so the site stays safe for work)
Here are some points that might help get you on the quarantine day drinking train:

"Multi-Tasking Mastery": Why waste time separately showering and drinking when you can efficiently tackle both activities at once? Day drinking in the shower allows you to cleanse your body while cleansing your palate—a true testament to productivity!

"No Judgement Zone": In the privacy of your own shower, there's no need to worry about judgmental glances from fellow patrons or concerned looks from friends. It's just you, your beverage of choice, and the soothing cascade of water—pure bliss.

"Shower Karaoke Sessions": With liquid courage flowing freely, your shower karaoke performances reach new heights of vocal prowess. Who needs a stage when you've got a shampoo bottle microphone and an enthusiastic audience of one?

"Elevated Hydration": Forget plain water—why not elevate your hydration game with a refreshing beverage of choice? Whether it's a mimosa, a cold beer, or a fruity cocktail, nothing says "hydration station" quite like a shower beverage.

"Quarantine Spa Retreat": Transform your mundane shower routine into a luxurious spa experience by adding a touch of day drinking. Suddenly, your bathroom becomes an exclusive oasis of relaxation and rejuvenation—a sanctuary from the chaos of quarantine life.
Quarantine rules

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