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2 years ago
My brain hurts from reading this
Snakes clearly existing because they are mentioned in the bible but other dinosaurs? FAKE! All FAKE and here are 5 reasons why:
"The Big Bone Hoax": "Turns out those giant bones were just a prank pulled by prehistoric pranksters. They spent millions of years carefully crafting massive bones and burying them deep underground, just to see how gullible future scientists would be."
"The Time Travel Taboo": "Dinosaurs were actually just time travelers from the future, who got stuck in the past and decided to play along until they could find a way back home. Who needs a DeLorean when you've got a T-Rex?"
"The Hollywood Hype": "It was all a big Hollywood conspiracy to sell movie tickets. Spielberg and his cronies cooked up the idea of dinosaurs to cash in on the Jurassic Park craze—and we fell for it hook, line, and sinker."
"The Giant Lizard Cover-up": "Dinosaurs were actually just overgrown lizards who got a little too big for their britches. Turns out Mother Nature has a sense of humor, and she's not afraid to throw a few curveballs into the fossil record."
"The Museum Mayhem": "Dinosaurs were just a marketing ploy cooked up by the world's museums to boost ticket sales. After all, who wouldn't want to see a giant T-Rex skeleton? It's the ultimate tourist trap—and we've been falling for it for centuries."
"The Big Bone Hoax": "Turns out those giant bones were just a prank pulled by prehistoric pranksters. They spent millions of years carefully crafting massive bones and burying them deep underground, just to see how gullible future scientists would be."
"The Time Travel Taboo": "Dinosaurs were actually just time travelers from the future, who got stuck in the past and decided to play along until they could find a way back home. Who needs a DeLorean when you've got a T-Rex?"
"The Hollywood Hype": "It was all a big Hollywood conspiracy to sell movie tickets. Spielberg and his cronies cooked up the idea of dinosaurs to cash in on the Jurassic Park craze—and we fell for it hook, line, and sinker."
"The Giant Lizard Cover-up": "Dinosaurs were actually just overgrown lizards who got a little too big for their britches. Turns out Mother Nature has a sense of humor, and she's not afraid to throw a few curveballs into the fossil record."
"The Museum Mayhem": "Dinosaurs were just a marketing ploy cooked up by the world's museums to boost ticket sales. After all, who wouldn't want to see a giant T-Rex skeleton? It's the ultimate tourist trap—and we've been falling for it for centuries."
1 year ago
2 years ago
Dating is very hard
Take the initiative girls.
If you're dealing with one of the dumbest most oblivious people alive try these techniques:
Deploy the "Flirting for Dummies" Manual: Casually slip them a copy of "Flirting for Dummies" under the guise of recommending a good read. Maybe they'll get the hint, or at the very least, they'll have some entertaining bedtime reading.
Invent a Flirting Translator App: Pretend to furiously type away on your phone whenever you're flirting with them. When they ask what you're doing, tell them you're using your new invention—a Flirting Translator App—to decode their responses. Spoiler alert: it's just the Notes app with random gibberish.
Start a Flirting with Obvious Signals Club: Enlist their unwitting participation in a pretend club where you practice "subtle" flirting techniques. Cue exaggerated winks, finger guns, and overly dramatic hair flips. Bonus points if you print out membership cards.
Stage a "Flirting Intervention": Gather their friends and family for an "intervention" where you all hilariously reenact their missed flirting opportunities. Bonus points for costumes and props—maybe a giant neon sign that says "I'm flirting with you!"
Channel Your Inner Mime: Take a page from the silent comedians and communicate your flirtatious intentions through exaggerated gestures and facial expressions. It's like playing a game of charades, but with romance instead of movie titles.
If you're dealing with one of the dumbest most oblivious people alive try these techniques:
Deploy the "Flirting for Dummies" Manual: Casually slip them a copy of "Flirting for Dummies" under the guise of recommending a good read. Maybe they'll get the hint, or at the very least, they'll have some entertaining bedtime reading.
Invent a Flirting Translator App: Pretend to furiously type away on your phone whenever you're flirting with them. When they ask what you're doing, tell them you're using your new invention—a Flirting Translator App—to decode their responses. Spoiler alert: it's just the Notes app with random gibberish.
Start a Flirting with Obvious Signals Club: Enlist their unwitting participation in a pretend club where you practice "subtle" flirting techniques. Cue exaggerated winks, finger guns, and overly dramatic hair flips. Bonus points if you print out membership cards.
Stage a "Flirting Intervention": Gather their friends and family for an "intervention" where you all hilariously reenact their missed flirting opportunities. Bonus points for costumes and props—maybe a giant neon sign that says "I'm flirting with you!"
Channel Your Inner Mime: Take a page from the silent comedians and communicate your flirtatious intentions through exaggerated gestures and facial expressions. It's like playing a game of charades, but with romance instead of movie titles.
1 year ago
2 years ago
Shitty red wine!
Some really nice honest marketing right there, and that's a good thing since it works! Here's a few reasons why brutally honest unfaltering advertising works sometimes:
The Brutal Honesty: "Because let's face it, when a product admits it's mediocre, we're just relieved it's not pretending to be something it's not. It's like a bad date being refreshingly upfront about their flaws."
The Truthful Tagline: "Because in a world of overhyped slogans and exaggerated claims, an ad that says 'This Product Probably Won't Change Your Life, But It's Not Terrible' is strangely compelling. Honesty is the best policy, even in advertising!"
The Refreshing Reality: "Because when an ad admits its flaws, it's like a breath of fresh air in a sea of polished perfection. We may not buy the product, but we'll definitely remember the ad!"
The Relatable Revelation: "Because when a product acknowledges its shortcomings, it becomes instantly relatable. We've all been disappointed by overhyped products before, so why not embrace the honesty and laugh along with the ad?"
The Honest Hilarity: "Because let's be real, a brutally honest ad is just plain funny. Whether it's poking fun at its own flaws or calling out the competition, honesty in advertising is a recipe for comedy gold—and maybe even a few sales!"
The Brutal Honesty: "Because let's face it, when a product admits it's mediocre, we're just relieved it's not pretending to be something it's not. It's like a bad date being refreshingly upfront about their flaws."
The Truthful Tagline: "Because in a world of overhyped slogans and exaggerated claims, an ad that says 'This Product Probably Won't Change Your Life, But It's Not Terrible' is strangely compelling. Honesty is the best policy, even in advertising!"
The Refreshing Reality: "Because when an ad admits its flaws, it's like a breath of fresh air in a sea of polished perfection. We may not buy the product, but we'll definitely remember the ad!"
The Relatable Revelation: "Because when a product acknowledges its shortcomings, it becomes instantly relatable. We've all been disappointed by overhyped products before, so why not embrace the honesty and laugh along with the ad?"
The Honest Hilarity: "Because let's be real, a brutally honest ad is just plain funny. Whether it's poking fun at its own flaws or calling out the competition, honesty in advertising is a recipe for comedy gold—and maybe even a few sales!"
2 years ago
We never got an answer
Is it because the chemicals turned them gay? Probably not but for some strange reason bisexuals and frogs just go together.
These are the best reasons as to why we go from our intern while phoning him drunk on a Saturday night at 2 am:
here are five humorous reasons why bisexuals might have a soft spot for frogs:
"Bi-Frog-uals": Frogs are the ultimate symbol of bisexuality—they're neither fully aquatic nor fully terrestrial, just like those who swing both ways. It's like nature's way of saying, "Why choose when you can have the best of both worlds?"
"Hoppy Endings": Who can resist the adorable sight of a frog hopping around, living its best amphibian life? It's like a metaphor for embracing your true self and hopping from lily pad to lily pad in search of love and acceptance.
"Ribbiting Romance": There's something undeniably romantic about the sound of a frog's croak echoing through the night. It's like nature's way of serenading you with the dulcet tones of amphibian love songs. Who needs a candlelit dinner when you can have a moonlit serenade from your favorite frog?
"Kiss Me, I'm Bisexual": We've all heard the story of the princess who kissed a frog and turned him into a prince. But what if the princess was actually a bisexual who just couldn't resist the allure of those smooth, slimy lips? It's a fairy tale for the modern age.
"Frog Equality": Frogs don't discriminate—they'll happily hop into the arms of anyone who shows them a little love and affection. It's like they're the ultimate ambassadors for inclusivity and acceptance, spreading love (and tadpoles) wherever they go.
These are the best reasons as to why we go from our intern while phoning him drunk on a Saturday night at 2 am:
here are five humorous reasons why bisexuals might have a soft spot for frogs:
"Bi-Frog-uals": Frogs are the ultimate symbol of bisexuality—they're neither fully aquatic nor fully terrestrial, just like those who swing both ways. It's like nature's way of saying, "Why choose when you can have the best of both worlds?"
"Hoppy Endings": Who can resist the adorable sight of a frog hopping around, living its best amphibian life? It's like a metaphor for embracing your true self and hopping from lily pad to lily pad in search of love and acceptance.
"Ribbiting Romance": There's something undeniably romantic about the sound of a frog's croak echoing through the night. It's like nature's way of serenading you with the dulcet tones of amphibian love songs. Who needs a candlelit dinner when you can have a moonlit serenade from your favorite frog?
"Kiss Me, I'm Bisexual": We've all heard the story of the princess who kissed a frog and turned him into a prince. But what if the princess was actually a bisexual who just couldn't resist the allure of those smooth, slimy lips? It's a fairy tale for the modern age.
"Frog Equality": Frogs don't discriminate—they'll happily hop into the arms of anyone who shows them a little love and affection. It's like they're the ultimate ambassadors for inclusivity and acceptance, spreading love (and tadpoles) wherever they go.
1 year ago
