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1 year ago
1 year ago
Different because she actually replies
As possibly an actual cat i have no issues getting women's attention. In my novice opinion she might have a good excuse!
Maybe one of these :
"I Was Caught in a Time Warp": Claim that you accidentally fell into a wormhole and emerged two years later, only to discover a backlog of unread messages waiting for you. Blame it on the space-time continuum and hope they have a sense of humor about temporal anomalies.
"I Joined a Secret Society of Hermit Crabs": Confess that you embarked on a quest to uncover the hidden world of hermit crabs and got swept up in their clandestine society. By the time you emerged from your shell-shaped bunker, two years had flown by, and you had completely forgotten about your social media accounts.
"I Was Training for a Competitive Snail Racing League": Admit that you became obsessed with the world of competitive snail racing and spent the past two years meticulously training your mollusk athletes for the big leagues. Unfortunately, your dedication to the sport left little time for social media.
"I Accidentally Enrolled in a Monk-Like Silence Retreat": Confess that you inadvertently signed up for a silent meditation retreat and were contractually obligated to abstain from all forms of communication, including social media, for the duration of the program. Oops!
"I Was Busy Perfecting the Art of Procrastination": Admit that you've achieved a level of procrastination mastery previously thought impossible, spending the past two years perfecting the fine art of putting things off until tomorrow. Unfortunately, tomorrow never seemed to arrive—until now.
Maybe one of these :
"I Was Caught in a Time Warp": Claim that you accidentally fell into a wormhole and emerged two years later, only to discover a backlog of unread messages waiting for you. Blame it on the space-time continuum and hope they have a sense of humor about temporal anomalies.
"I Joined a Secret Society of Hermit Crabs": Confess that you embarked on a quest to uncover the hidden world of hermit crabs and got swept up in their clandestine society. By the time you emerged from your shell-shaped bunker, two years had flown by, and you had completely forgotten about your social media accounts.
"I Was Training for a Competitive Snail Racing League": Admit that you became obsessed with the world of competitive snail racing and spent the past two years meticulously training your mollusk athletes for the big leagues. Unfortunately, your dedication to the sport left little time for social media.
"I Accidentally Enrolled in a Monk-Like Silence Retreat": Confess that you inadvertently signed up for a silent meditation retreat and were contractually obligated to abstain from all forms of communication, including social media, for the duration of the program. Oops!
"I Was Busy Perfecting the Art of Procrastination": Admit that you've achieved a level of procrastination mastery previously thought impossible, spending the past two years perfecting the fine art of putting things off until tomorrow. Unfortunately, tomorrow never seemed to arrive—until now.
1 year ago
1 year ago
Punishment fit for the crime
That'll teach him, if not some of these 5 punishments might
The "Tape it Like You Mean It" Challenge: Their punishment involved a hilarious DIY challenge – using only the stickiest of tapes, they had to piece the torn money back together while wearing oven mitts. The struggle was real, but the laughter was even better!
The Etiquette Boot Camp Extravaganza: Picture them in a comically oversized etiquette hat and attending a boot camp led by a drill sergeant with impeccable manners. From practicing proper napkin folding to mastering the art of polite conversation, hilarity ensued at every turn.
The Budgeting Boot Camp: Extreme Edition: In a twist of fate, their budgeting project turned into a reality TV show sensation. With cameras rolling 24/7, they navigated the treacherous waters of financial responsibility while facing off against eccentric budgeting challenges and avoiding paparazzi.
The DIY Economics Epic Fail: Their attempt at creating their own currency turned into a sidesplitting comedy of errors. Picture them printing bills with their face on them, only to realize they'd accidentally made them look like Monopoly money. Cue the laughter and the frantic attempts to fix their faux pas.
The Charity Challenge Comedy Showdown: As they donated a portion of their repaired money to charity, they found themselves roped into a charity comedy roast. With jokes flying and laughter echoing, they learned that sometimes the best way to mend fences is through shared laughter and a good cause.
The "Tape it Like You Mean It" Challenge: Their punishment involved a hilarious DIY challenge – using only the stickiest of tapes, they had to piece the torn money back together while wearing oven mitts. The struggle was real, but the laughter was even better!
The Etiquette Boot Camp Extravaganza: Picture them in a comically oversized etiquette hat and attending a boot camp led by a drill sergeant with impeccable manners. From practicing proper napkin folding to mastering the art of polite conversation, hilarity ensued at every turn.
The Budgeting Boot Camp: Extreme Edition: In a twist of fate, their budgeting project turned into a reality TV show sensation. With cameras rolling 24/7, they navigated the treacherous waters of financial responsibility while facing off against eccentric budgeting challenges and avoiding paparazzi.
The DIY Economics Epic Fail: Their attempt at creating their own currency turned into a sidesplitting comedy of errors. Picture them printing bills with their face on them, only to realize they'd accidentally made them look like Monopoly money. Cue the laughter and the frantic attempts to fix their faux pas.
The Charity Challenge Comedy Showdown: As they donated a portion of their repaired money to charity, they found themselves roped into a charity comedy roast. With jokes flying and laughter echoing, they learned that sometimes the best way to mend fences is through shared laughter and a good cause.
1 year ago
Don't risk it guys
I'd also share it on all my socials your friends will think you're smart funny and quirky
Lucky badger guys just read the proof below i swear writing these is like an endless fever dream
The "Underground Abode" Advantage:
"With $115, that badger can afford the ultimate burrow upgrade – complete with a built-in jacuzzi!"
The "Unexpected Investor" Wonder:
"This badger must have stumbled upon a squirrel's hidden stock portfolio. Lucky break for a woodland critter!"
The "Born Lucky" Charm:
"With a badger's luck and $115, who needs four-leaf clovers?"
The "Frugal Forager" Fortune:
"That badger's $115 could buy a year's supply of discount berries and budget-friendly bugs!"
The "Pirate's Paw" Prize:
"Rumor has it, buried beneath the badger's favorite tree lies a trove of lost pirate treasure. Lucky find indeed!"
Lucky badger guys just read the proof below i swear writing these is like an endless fever dream
The "Underground Abode" Advantage:
"With $115, that badger can afford the ultimate burrow upgrade – complete with a built-in jacuzzi!"
The "Unexpected Investor" Wonder:
"This badger must have stumbled upon a squirrel's hidden stock portfolio. Lucky break for a woodland critter!"
The "Born Lucky" Charm:
"With a badger's luck and $115, who needs four-leaf clovers?"
The "Frugal Forager" Fortune:
"That badger's $115 could buy a year's supply of discount berries and budget-friendly bugs!"
The "Pirate's Paw" Prize:
"Rumor has it, buried beneath the badger's favorite tree lies a trove of lost pirate treasure. Lucky find indeed!"
1 year ago
No regrets
Buffy was a good show and she looked like how the average high school-er SHOULD look. You were ugly and Buffy was hot and here's a few reasons why:
"The Awkward Adolescent Antics": "Let's face it, high school was like a bad episode of 'Saved by the Bell' for me—I was more Screech than Zack Morris. While Buffy was slaying vampires and saving the world, I was trying to navigate the treacherous waters of puberty without sinking like the Titanic."
"The Teenage Transformation Tragedy": "While Buffy was rocking leather jackets and kicking butt, I was stuck in a perpetual state of awkwardness that even a vampire couldn't glamor away. Let's just say my 'glow up' was more like a 'slow crawl out of the awkward abyss.'"
"The Braces and Bad Hair Blues": "While Buffy was busy staking hearts and breaking hearts, I was busy trying to hide my metal mouth and frizzy hair under a hoodie like a low-budget superhero. Let's just say I wasn't exactly giving off Slayer vibes in the hallways."
"The Prom Dress Disaster": "While Buffy was slaying at prom in a killer dress, I was slaying my chances of ever being prom queen with a dress that looked like it was made by a blindfolded toddler. Let's just say my fashion sense was more 'fashion faux pas' than 'fashionista.'"
"The Buffy vs. The Buffoon": "Let's be real, comparing myself to Buffy is like comparing a soggy Cheerio to a stake-wielding superhero. While she was saving the world from apocalypses and bad hair days, I was just trying to survive homeroom without tripping over my own feet. It's no wonder she looked better than me—she had better lighting, better makeup, and way better fight scenes."
"The Awkward Adolescent Antics": "Let's face it, high school was like a bad episode of 'Saved by the Bell' for me—I was more Screech than Zack Morris. While Buffy was slaying vampires and saving the world, I was trying to navigate the treacherous waters of puberty without sinking like the Titanic."
"The Teenage Transformation Tragedy": "While Buffy was rocking leather jackets and kicking butt, I was stuck in a perpetual state of awkwardness that even a vampire couldn't glamor away. Let's just say my 'glow up' was more like a 'slow crawl out of the awkward abyss.'"
"The Braces and Bad Hair Blues": "While Buffy was busy staking hearts and breaking hearts, I was busy trying to hide my metal mouth and frizzy hair under a hoodie like a low-budget superhero. Let's just say I wasn't exactly giving off Slayer vibes in the hallways."
"The Prom Dress Disaster": "While Buffy was slaying at prom in a killer dress, I was slaying my chances of ever being prom queen with a dress that looked like it was made by a blindfolded toddler. Let's just say my fashion sense was more 'fashion faux pas' than 'fashionista.'"
"The Buffy vs. The Buffoon": "Let's be real, comparing myself to Buffy is like comparing a soggy Cheerio to a stake-wielding superhero. While she was saving the world from apocalypses and bad hair days, I was just trying to survive homeroom without tripping over my own feet. It's no wonder she looked better than me—she had better lighting, better makeup, and way better fight scenes."
1 year ago
