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1 year ago
Get what you deserve
In this case not having a phone.
Want more revenge? We have some options that won't land you in trouble with the cops:
The "Puppy Parcel": Since she always had a soft spot for furry friends, you decide to send her a monthly subscription of dog poop parcels. Each package comes with a note saying, "Thought you might enjoy cleaning up after something you love."
The "Billboard Betrayal": You rent a billboard on her daily commute route and display a Photoshopped image of her with a caption that reads, "Cheaters Never Prosper!" It's not illegal, but it sure is embarrassing!
The "Spam-a-Lot Scheme": You sign her email address up for every newsletter, spam email, and promotional offer imaginable. Her inbox becomes a chaotic mess of discount codes, dating site ads, and weight loss tips.
The "Social Media Switcheroo": You hack into her social media accounts (just kidding!) and replace all her photos with images of cartoon characters. Bonus points if you change her relationship status to "In a Relationship with SpongeBob SquarePants."
The "Gag Gift Gazette": You anonymously subscribe her to obscure magazines with titles like "The World of Moldy Cheese Collectors" or "Unicorn Enthusiast Weekly." Who knows, maybe she'll discover a new passion amidst the chaos of her mailbox.
Want more revenge? We have some options that won't land you in trouble with the cops:
The "Puppy Parcel": Since she always had a soft spot for furry friends, you decide to send her a monthly subscription of dog poop parcels. Each package comes with a note saying, "Thought you might enjoy cleaning up after something you love."
The "Billboard Betrayal": You rent a billboard on her daily commute route and display a Photoshopped image of her with a caption that reads, "Cheaters Never Prosper!" It's not illegal, but it sure is embarrassing!
The "Spam-a-Lot Scheme": You sign her email address up for every newsletter, spam email, and promotional offer imaginable. Her inbox becomes a chaotic mess of discount codes, dating site ads, and weight loss tips.
The "Social Media Switcheroo": You hack into her social media accounts (just kidding!) and replace all her photos with images of cartoon characters. Bonus points if you change her relationship status to "In a Relationship with SpongeBob SquarePants."
The "Gag Gift Gazette": You anonymously subscribe her to obscure magazines with titles like "The World of Moldy Cheese Collectors" or "Unicorn Enthusiast Weekly." Who knows, maybe she'll discover a new passion amidst the chaos of her mailbox.
1 year ago
Must be because they were paid so well
At least he said have a great day!So why did they quit? Speculation is the name of the game on funnybanter so we thought up a few reasons:
"The Nugget Nonsense": "After a disastrous attempt to juggle chicken nuggets for a customer's entertainment, I realized my talents were better suited for a different stage. Let's just say the nuggets weren't the only things taking a tumble that day!"
"The Frosty Fiasco": "When I accidentally set the Frosty machine to 'eternal churn,' I knew it was time to bid farewell to the world of soft-serve. Let's just say we had enough Frosty to last a lifetime—assuming anyone could stomach that much chocolatey goodness."
"The Spatula Showdown": "My attempt at mastering the art of spatula juggling ended with a burger launch that could rival SpaceX. Turns out, flipping burgers isn't as glamorous as it looks on TV—and the ceiling definitely wasn't impressed."
"The Drive-Thru Disaster": "Trying to decipher orders from hangry customers in the drive-thru lane was like playing a high-stakes game of charades. Let's just say my interpretation of 'extra pickles' wasn't exactly what the customer had in mind."
"The Baconator Blunder": "After one too many encounters with the infamous Baconator, I realized my arteries deserved a break. Let's just say my heart wasn't on board with the idea of a daily bacon binge, and neither was my waistline."
"The Nugget Nonsense": "After a disastrous attempt to juggle chicken nuggets for a customer's entertainment, I realized my talents were better suited for a different stage. Let's just say the nuggets weren't the only things taking a tumble that day!"
"The Frosty Fiasco": "When I accidentally set the Frosty machine to 'eternal churn,' I knew it was time to bid farewell to the world of soft-serve. Let's just say we had enough Frosty to last a lifetime—assuming anyone could stomach that much chocolatey goodness."
"The Spatula Showdown": "My attempt at mastering the art of spatula juggling ended with a burger launch that could rival SpaceX. Turns out, flipping burgers isn't as glamorous as it looks on TV—and the ceiling definitely wasn't impressed."
"The Drive-Thru Disaster": "Trying to decipher orders from hangry customers in the drive-thru lane was like playing a high-stakes game of charades. Let's just say my interpretation of 'extra pickles' wasn't exactly what the customer had in mind."
"The Baconator Blunder": "After one too many encounters with the infamous Baconator, I realized my arteries deserved a break. Let's just say my heart wasn't on board with the idea of a daily bacon binge, and neither was my waistline."
1 year ago
Who's your favorite communist!
Maybe not the best dating conversation starter.
We came up with some flirty ramen infused communism pickup lines:
"Hey there, are you a bowl of ramen? Because you've got me feeling all hot and soupy... just like the proletariat uprising in Soviet Russia. #CommunistCrush"
"Do you believe in the power of collective ownership? Because I'm willing to share my ramen with you, comrade. Let's overthrow hunger together, one noodle at a time! #RamenRevolution"
"They say love is like a bowl of ramen—warm, comforting, and best enjoyed with someone special. Care to join me in this deliciously socialist endeavor? #CommieCrush"
"I'm no Karl Marx, but I believe in redistributing the wealth... of flavor! Let's share a bowl of ramen and spread the joy of noodles to all corners of the world. Together, we'll create a utopia of umami! #NoodleNation"
"Roses are red, violets are blue, let's share a bowl of ramen and seize the means of production too! #FlirtyCommunist"
We came up with some flirty ramen infused communism pickup lines:
"Hey there, are you a bowl of ramen? Because you've got me feeling all hot and soupy... just like the proletariat uprising in Soviet Russia. #CommunistCrush"
"Do you believe in the power of collective ownership? Because I'm willing to share my ramen with you, comrade. Let's overthrow hunger together, one noodle at a time! #RamenRevolution"
"They say love is like a bowl of ramen—warm, comforting, and best enjoyed with someone special. Care to join me in this deliciously socialist endeavor? #CommieCrush"
"I'm no Karl Marx, but I believe in redistributing the wealth... of flavor! Let's share a bowl of ramen and spread the joy of noodles to all corners of the world. Together, we'll create a utopia of umami! #NoodleNation"
"Roses are red, violets are blue, let's share a bowl of ramen and seize the means of production too! #FlirtyCommunist"
1 year ago
1 year ago
Now you're thinking with portals
While being homeless ...that's the not fun part.
But a family that starves together stays together...until they starve of course.
Here are some fun ways familial starvation brings you together:
"The Hunger Games: Family Edition": Not affording food brings the family together in a competitive spirit, turning mealtime into a thrilling scavenger hunt for snacks hidden in the pantry. Who needs board games when you can have the real Hunger Games?
"The Culinary Creativity Club": Not affording food sparks the family's creativity in the kitchen, turning leftovers into gourmet masterpieces and transforming canned goods into culinary delights. Who needs a Michelin-starred restaurant when you have a budget-friendly family kitchen?
"The Financial Fiasco Fellowship": Not affording food fosters a sense of camaraderie as the family bands together to brainstorm creative ways to stretch their grocery budget, from coupon clipping marathons to strategic meal planning sessions. Who needs financial advisors when you have a thrifty family team?
"The Potluck Party": Not affording food turns mealtime into a potluck extravaganza, where each family member brings their own culinary creation to the table, resulting in a smorgasbord of mismatched dishes and unexpected flavor combinations. Who needs a menu when you have a potluck lineup?
"The Hunger Bonding Ritual": Not affording food transforms mealtime into a bonding ritual, where the family gathers around the empty dinner table to share stories, jokes, and dreams of future feasts. Who needs a fancy banquet hall when you have a heartfelt family dinner conversation?
But a family that starves together stays together...until they starve of course.
Here are some fun ways familial starvation brings you together:
"The Hunger Games: Family Edition": Not affording food brings the family together in a competitive spirit, turning mealtime into a thrilling scavenger hunt for snacks hidden in the pantry. Who needs board games when you can have the real Hunger Games?
"The Culinary Creativity Club": Not affording food sparks the family's creativity in the kitchen, turning leftovers into gourmet masterpieces and transforming canned goods into culinary delights. Who needs a Michelin-starred restaurant when you have a budget-friendly family kitchen?
"The Financial Fiasco Fellowship": Not affording food fosters a sense of camaraderie as the family bands together to brainstorm creative ways to stretch their grocery budget, from coupon clipping marathons to strategic meal planning sessions. Who needs financial advisors when you have a thrifty family team?
"The Potluck Party": Not affording food turns mealtime into a potluck extravaganza, where each family member brings their own culinary creation to the table, resulting in a smorgasbord of mismatched dishes and unexpected flavor combinations. Who needs a menu when you have a potluck lineup?
"The Hunger Bonding Ritual": Not affording food transforms mealtime into a bonding ritual, where the family gathers around the empty dinner table to share stories, jokes, and dreams of future feasts. Who needs a fancy banquet hall when you have a heartfelt family dinner conversation?
1 year ago
True and wholesome
Sometimes they're needed straight when you wake up and that should be normalized.But hey that's for more advanced users. Meanwhile we want to create the legal precedent that the first two drinks shouldn't count if you have anxiety!
Here are some reasons:
"The Anxiety Annihilation Aperitif": The first two drinks are like anxiety's worst nightmare—liquid kryptonite that sends your worries packing faster than you can say "shots, anyone?"
"The Boozy Blame Game": If anyone asks, the first two drinks were clearly the work of mischievous imps who snuck into the bar and spiked your soda. You're innocent, they're guilty, case closed!
"The Tipsy Time Travel Trick": With the first two drinks, time warps into a surreal dimension where awkward conversations and social gaffes are just hilarious anecdotes waiting to happen. Who knew alcohol was a time machine in disguise?
"The Liquid Laughing Gas": The first two drinks unlock the secret to eternal laughter, turning even the most mundane conversations into sidesplitting comedy routines. You'll be giggling like a tipsy toddler in no time!
"The Anxiety Antidote Ambush": Anxiety never saw it coming—the one-two punch of alcohol's liquid courage and contagious camaraderie. With the first two drinks, you're like a stealthy ninja, sneaking up on stress and giving it a swift kick in the keister.
Here are some reasons:
"The Anxiety Annihilation Aperitif": The first two drinks are like anxiety's worst nightmare—liquid kryptonite that sends your worries packing faster than you can say "shots, anyone?"
"The Boozy Blame Game": If anyone asks, the first two drinks were clearly the work of mischievous imps who snuck into the bar and spiked your soda. You're innocent, they're guilty, case closed!
"The Tipsy Time Travel Trick": With the first two drinks, time warps into a surreal dimension where awkward conversations and social gaffes are just hilarious anecdotes waiting to happen. Who knew alcohol was a time machine in disguise?
"The Liquid Laughing Gas": The first two drinks unlock the secret to eternal laughter, turning even the most mundane conversations into sidesplitting comedy routines. You'll be giggling like a tipsy toddler in no time!
"The Anxiety Antidote Ambush": Anxiety never saw it coming—the one-two punch of alcohol's liquid courage and contagious camaraderie. With the first two drinks, you're like a stealthy ninja, sneaking up on stress and giving it a swift kick in the keister.
