Register for a no ad experience.
2 years ago
Rocket scientist
It's not brain surgery is it? It's not. So here's a few reasons rocket science is not brain surgery!
Their precision is out of this world... literally: Rocket scientists are used to calculating trajectories to the nth decimal place, but when it comes to delicate brain surgery, a slip of the scalpel could turn your gray matter into mush faster than you can say "Houston, we have a problem."
They mix up tools from their day job: Imagine going in for a routine brain scan and suddenly finding yourself strapped into a centrifuge or being told you need a boost from a solid rocket booster to jump-start your neurons.
Their patients keep floating away during surgery: Zero-gravity environments might be great for space exploration, but they're less than ideal for keeping patients anchored to the operating table. Plus, have you ever tried to perform intricate surgery while floating upside down? Not recommended.
Their bedside manner is more like an alien encounter: Instead of offering comforting words and reassurance, they start babbling about quantum physics and black holes, leaving you more confused and terrified than before.
They're used to solving problems that are, quite literally, out of this world: Sure, they can navigate the complexities of rocket propulsion and orbital mechanics, but ask them to locate the hippocampus or differentiate between the cerebellum and the cerebrum, and suddenly they're lost in a sea of gray matter.
Their precision is out of this world... literally: Rocket scientists are used to calculating trajectories to the nth decimal place, but when it comes to delicate brain surgery, a slip of the scalpel could turn your gray matter into mush faster than you can say "Houston, we have a problem."
They mix up tools from their day job: Imagine going in for a routine brain scan and suddenly finding yourself strapped into a centrifuge or being told you need a boost from a solid rocket booster to jump-start your neurons.
Their patients keep floating away during surgery: Zero-gravity environments might be great for space exploration, but they're less than ideal for keeping patients anchored to the operating table. Plus, have you ever tried to perform intricate surgery while floating upside down? Not recommended.
Their bedside manner is more like an alien encounter: Instead of offering comforting words and reassurance, they start babbling about quantum physics and black holes, leaving you more confused and terrified than before.
They're used to solving problems that are, quite literally, out of this world: Sure, they can navigate the complexities of rocket propulsion and orbital mechanics, but ask them to locate the hippocampus or differentiate between the cerebellum and the cerebrum, and suddenly they're lost in a sea of gray matter.
2 years ago
A show i'd watch
This summer on Disney plus, the next ones are mine don't steal them I'll sue
"Magical Mixology Mayhem": Follow the misadventures of a group of teenage wizards who work part-time at a mystical cocktail bar, mixing potions by day and battling unruly customers by night. Can they keep the drinks flowing and the chaos at bay without accidentally turning anyone into a newt?
"Zombie Prom Queen Diaries": In a small town where the dead refuse to stay buried, follow the high school drama of a teenage zombie girl who's determined to win the title of prom queen – even if it means losing a limb or two along the way. Will she find true love before the big dance, or will her decomposing body be the ultimate buzzkill?
"Fairy Godmother Academy": Join a group of clumsy fairy godmothers-in-training as they bumble their way through magical mishaps and wish-granting disasters. Can they master the art of granting wishes without accidentally turning anyone's pumpkin carriage into a pumpkin pie?
"Alien Exchange Student Exchange": When a group of teenage aliens crash-land on Earth and enroll in a human high school as part of an intergalactic exchange program, hilarity ensues as they try to fit in with their human classmates while hiding their extraterrestrial identities. Will they conquer high school drama or end up dissected in biology class?
"Mystical Matchmaking Madness": Follow the adventures of a group of teenage cupids who work at a celestial matchmaking agency, pairing up star-crossed lovers with the help of magical arrows and mischievous meddling. Can they navigate the ups and downs of teenage romance without accidentally causing a cosmic catastrophe?
"Magical Mixology Mayhem": Follow the misadventures of a group of teenage wizards who work part-time at a mystical cocktail bar, mixing potions by day and battling unruly customers by night. Can they keep the drinks flowing and the chaos at bay without accidentally turning anyone into a newt?
"Zombie Prom Queen Diaries": In a small town where the dead refuse to stay buried, follow the high school drama of a teenage zombie girl who's determined to win the title of prom queen – even if it means losing a limb or two along the way. Will she find true love before the big dance, or will her decomposing body be the ultimate buzzkill?
"Fairy Godmother Academy": Join a group of clumsy fairy godmothers-in-training as they bumble their way through magical mishaps and wish-granting disasters. Can they master the art of granting wishes without accidentally turning anyone's pumpkin carriage into a pumpkin pie?
"Alien Exchange Student Exchange": When a group of teenage aliens crash-land on Earth and enroll in a human high school as part of an intergalactic exchange program, hilarity ensues as they try to fit in with their human classmates while hiding their extraterrestrial identities. Will they conquer high school drama or end up dissected in biology class?
"Mystical Matchmaking Madness": Follow the adventures of a group of teenage cupids who work at a celestial matchmaking agency, pairing up star-crossed lovers with the help of magical arrows and mischievous meddling. Can they navigate the ups and downs of teenage romance without accidentally causing a cosmic catastrophe?
2 years ago
Even free drugs wouldn't make me a furry
A very steep price to pay for anything in life. Here's a few reasons why the mention of free drugs would get some people clambering to put on their murrsuit:
The Fuzzy Freebies Fantasy: They heard furries get complimentary doses of "Furrycillin" to cure their existential woes, but little do they know it's just a placebo disguised as a fluffy tail.
The "Furry Friends Forever" Fairy Tale: They believe joining the furry community comes with a lifetime supply of free hugs, but soon discover it's more like a never-ending game of "hide and seek" with sweaty strangers in mascot costumes.
The Psychedelic Paw-ty Perk: Rumor has it furries have access to a secret stash of mind-altering substances called "Euphorifur," but it turns out it's just catnip and cheap glitter.
The Plushie Paradise Promise: They've been promised a plushie paradise where the streets are lined with cuddly companions, but soon realize it's just a marketing ploy to sell overpriced teddy bears and novelty tail-shaped butt plugs.
The "Furry Fandom FOMO" Fallacy: They're lured in by the promise of exclusive access to the hottest furry events and parties, only to discover that the only thing on the menu is lukewarm Mountain Dew and lukewarmer conversations about anthropomorphic Sonic fan art.
The Fuzzy Freebies Fantasy: They heard furries get complimentary doses of "Furrycillin" to cure their existential woes, but little do they know it's just a placebo disguised as a fluffy tail.
The "Furry Friends Forever" Fairy Tale: They believe joining the furry community comes with a lifetime supply of free hugs, but soon discover it's more like a never-ending game of "hide and seek" with sweaty strangers in mascot costumes.
The Psychedelic Paw-ty Perk: Rumor has it furries have access to a secret stash of mind-altering substances called "Euphorifur," but it turns out it's just catnip and cheap glitter.
The Plushie Paradise Promise: They've been promised a plushie paradise where the streets are lined with cuddly companions, but soon realize it's just a marketing ploy to sell overpriced teddy bears and novelty tail-shaped butt plugs.
The "Furry Fandom FOMO" Fallacy: They're lured in by the promise of exclusive access to the hottest furry events and parties, only to discover that the only thing on the menu is lukewarm Mountain Dew and lukewarmer conversations about anthropomorphic Sonic fan art.
2 years ago
Bought these 8 minutes ago
2 more days and they'll evolve into something really weird , here we prepared some examples while huffing glue in the company garage
"Strawberry Superhero: Mold Man":
"With its newfound moldy powers, the strawberry transforms into Mold Man, defender of the fridge! Armed with spore projectiles and a fuzzy cape, Mold Man fights off food waste villains one fridge shelf at a time."
"Strawberry Spa Retreat: Moldy Oasis":
"The moldy strawberry evolves into a luxurious spa retreat for microorganisms, complete with a fuzzy mold jacuzzi and spore sauna. Mold spores flock from far and wide for a rejuvenating vacation in the moldy oasis."
"Strawberry Space Explorer: Moldtronaut":
"Launching into orbit, the moldy strawberry becomes Moldtronaut, the first fruit to explore the cosmos! Moldtronaut braves the vacuum of space armed with an intergalactic spore blaster and a helmet made of mold-resistant polymer."
"Strawberry Rockstar: Moldy Mick Jagger":
"Channeling its inner rockstar, the moldy strawberry morphs into Moldy Mick Jagger, lead singer of the legendary band 'The Rolling Mold.' With fuzzy hair and spore-studded leather pants, Moldy Mick rocks the fridge with hits like 'Satisfaction (With Mold)' and 'Gimme Mold Shelter.'"
"Strawberry Scientist: Dr. Moldberg":
"Embracing its intellectual side, the moldy strawberry becomes Dr. Moldberg, esteemed mycologist and mold enthusiast! Dr. Moldberg conducts groundbreaking research on mold spore taxonomy and hosts mold-themed TED talks in the damp corners of the fridge."
"Strawberry Superhero: Mold Man":
"With its newfound moldy powers, the strawberry transforms into Mold Man, defender of the fridge! Armed with spore projectiles and a fuzzy cape, Mold Man fights off food waste villains one fridge shelf at a time."
"Strawberry Spa Retreat: Moldy Oasis":
"The moldy strawberry evolves into a luxurious spa retreat for microorganisms, complete with a fuzzy mold jacuzzi and spore sauna. Mold spores flock from far and wide for a rejuvenating vacation in the moldy oasis."
"Strawberry Space Explorer: Moldtronaut":
"Launching into orbit, the moldy strawberry becomes Moldtronaut, the first fruit to explore the cosmos! Moldtronaut braves the vacuum of space armed with an intergalactic spore blaster and a helmet made of mold-resistant polymer."
"Strawberry Rockstar: Moldy Mick Jagger":
"Channeling its inner rockstar, the moldy strawberry morphs into Moldy Mick Jagger, lead singer of the legendary band 'The Rolling Mold.' With fuzzy hair and spore-studded leather pants, Moldy Mick rocks the fridge with hits like 'Satisfaction (With Mold)' and 'Gimme Mold Shelter.'"
"Strawberry Scientist: Dr. Moldberg":
"Embracing its intellectual side, the moldy strawberry becomes Dr. Moldberg, esteemed mycologist and mold enthusiast! Dr. Moldberg conducts groundbreaking research on mold spore taxonomy and hosts mold-themed TED talks in the damp corners of the fridge."
2 years ago
A good picture is a good picture
You also don't have to pay the photographer and other great reasons like these:
The Mugshot Magnetism: "Because nothing says 'bad boy/girl' like a well-framed mugshot—impress your potential dates with your undeniable charisma and undeniable criminal record!"
The Conversation Starter: "Because let's face it, there's no better icebreaker than 'So, what were you arrested for?'—skip the small talk and dive straight into the juicy details of your run-in with the law."
The Mystery Factor: "Because why settle for boring selfies when you can leave your potential dates guessing about your mysterious past? Keep them on their toes with tantalizing tales of your wild and reckless youth."
The Unforgettable Impression: "Because you only get one chance to make a first impression, so why not make it a memorable one? With your mugshot front and center, you'll be the talk of the town—and the dating app."
The Transparency Triumph: "Because honesty is the best policy, right? Show your potential dates that you've got nothing to hide by proudly displaying your mugshot—after all, if they can't handle you at your worst, they don't deserve you at your best!"
The Mugshot Magnetism: "Because nothing says 'bad boy/girl' like a well-framed mugshot—impress your potential dates with your undeniable charisma and undeniable criminal record!"
The Conversation Starter: "Because let's face it, there's no better icebreaker than 'So, what were you arrested for?'—skip the small talk and dive straight into the juicy details of your run-in with the law."
The Mystery Factor: "Because why settle for boring selfies when you can leave your potential dates guessing about your mysterious past? Keep them on their toes with tantalizing tales of your wild and reckless youth."
The Unforgettable Impression: "Because you only get one chance to make a first impression, so why not make it a memorable one? With your mugshot front and center, you'll be the talk of the town—and the dating app."
The Transparency Triumph: "Because honesty is the best policy, right? Show your potential dates that you've got nothing to hide by proudly displaying your mugshot—after all, if they can't handle you at your worst, they don't deserve you at your best!"
2 years ago
The Central Bureaucracy from Futurama
The winner of the not my job award goes to that clerk. The DMV what a place! As a person who's never been to one I only hears legends of this magnificent fun and relaxing government run spa. Here are some :
"The Waiting Room Spa Experience": Forget about stressful waiting rooms—this DMV offers complimentary massages, cucumber eye masks, and soothing aromatherapy to ease your DMV-induced tension. Who knew renewing your driver's license could be so relaxing?
"License to Chill": Instead of enduring long lines and grumpy clerks, this DMV encourages visitors to kick back and relax in their state-of-the-art lounge area. With reclining chairs, cozy blankets, and a bottomless supply of hot cocoa, you'll be tempted to extend your stay indefinitely.
"Personalized Serenades While You Wait": Say goodbye to boring elevator music—this DMV boasts live musical performances from local talent while you wait. From soothing jazz to upbeat pop hits, you'll be tapping your toes and humming along as you renew your registration.
"DIY Car Maintenance Workshops": Tired of shelling out big bucks for routine car maintenance? This DMV offers free DIY workshops where you can learn to change your oil, rotate your tires, and perform basic repairs—all while waiting for your number to be called. It's like a grease monkey's paradise!
"Celebrity Sightings Galore": You never know who you'll run into at this DMV—celebrities, politicians, even the occasional superhero. With paparazzi lurking around every corner, you'll feel like a VIP as you renew your license alongside the rich and famous. Who needs Hollywood when you've got the DMV?
"The Waiting Room Spa Experience": Forget about stressful waiting rooms—this DMV offers complimentary massages, cucumber eye masks, and soothing aromatherapy to ease your DMV-induced tension. Who knew renewing your driver's license could be so relaxing?
"License to Chill": Instead of enduring long lines and grumpy clerks, this DMV encourages visitors to kick back and relax in their state-of-the-art lounge area. With reclining chairs, cozy blankets, and a bottomless supply of hot cocoa, you'll be tempted to extend your stay indefinitely.
"Personalized Serenades While You Wait": Say goodbye to boring elevator music—this DMV boasts live musical performances from local talent while you wait. From soothing jazz to upbeat pop hits, you'll be tapping your toes and humming along as you renew your registration.
"DIY Car Maintenance Workshops": Tired of shelling out big bucks for routine car maintenance? This DMV offers free DIY workshops where you can learn to change your oil, rotate your tires, and perform basic repairs—all while waiting for your number to be called. It's like a grease monkey's paradise!
"Celebrity Sightings Galore": You never know who you'll run into at this DMV—celebrities, politicians, even the occasional superhero. With paparazzi lurking around every corner, you'll feel like a VIP as you renew your license alongside the rich and famous. Who needs Hollywood when you've got the DMV?
2 years ago
The two extremes
Very young and old as ass parents are the only possibilities. Biology is fighting against the old ones succeeding but the young ones? Maybe we should all have kids in our teens not those glamorous moms on daytime TV. Here are a few reasons why teen pregnancy is in:
"The Built-in Babysitter": "Who needs a nanny when you've got a built-in babysitter? With a baby of your own, you'll never have to worry about finding someone to watch the kids—just hand them off to your parents and enjoy your newfound freedom!"
"The Ultimate Icebreaker": "Forget awkward small talk—having a baby as a teen is the ultimate conversation starter. Suddenly everyone wants to know your story, and you'll have no shortage of attention at parties (or PTA meetings)."
"The Trendsetter Teen": "Move over, TikTok influencers—teen parents are the new trendsetters. With your baby in tow, you'll be the envy of all your friends, who will marvel at your maturity and responsibility (or at least pretend to)."
"The High School Hilarity": "Teen parenthood adds a whole new level of excitement to high school life. From diaper changing in the school bathroom to breastfeeding in the cafeteria, every day is an adventure you'll never forget."
"The Youthful Energy Boost": "Who needs sleep when you're a teenager? With a baby to care for, you'll have plenty of opportunities to burn off that excess energy—whether it's rocking them to sleep at 3 am or chasing after them when they start crawling."
"The Built-in Babysitter": "Who needs a nanny when you've got a built-in babysitter? With a baby of your own, you'll never have to worry about finding someone to watch the kids—just hand them off to your parents and enjoy your newfound freedom!"
"The Ultimate Icebreaker": "Forget awkward small talk—having a baby as a teen is the ultimate conversation starter. Suddenly everyone wants to know your story, and you'll have no shortage of attention at parties (or PTA meetings)."
"The Trendsetter Teen": "Move over, TikTok influencers—teen parents are the new trendsetters. With your baby in tow, you'll be the envy of all your friends, who will marvel at your maturity and responsibility (or at least pretend to)."
"The High School Hilarity": "Teen parenthood adds a whole new level of excitement to high school life. From diaper changing in the school bathroom to breastfeeding in the cafeteria, every day is an adventure you'll never forget."
"The Youthful Energy Boost": "Who needs sleep when you're a teenager? With a baby to care for, you'll have plenty of opportunities to burn off that excess energy—whether it's rocking them to sleep at 3 am or chasing after them when they start crawling."
