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1 year ago
Emo Nostalgia Critic
Remember when he didn't suck? Well he does now! So we imagined some one liners he'd say if he were a vampire slayer:
"Hey Dracula, you know what's better than sucking blood? Sucking at being immortal!"
"Count Chocula? More like Count...choke-ula! Bet you can't handle my stake!"
"Vampires? More like vam-pyres, am I right? They're so thirsty, they make Tinder look like a desert!"
"You think you're immortal? Well, I've got news for you, buddy! I'll stake you so hard, you'll feel it for centuries!"
"Forget stakes, I've got bad movies so steamy, they'll make even the undead blush!"
"Hey Dracula, you know what's better than sucking blood? Sucking at being immortal!"
"Count Chocula? More like Count...choke-ula! Bet you can't handle my stake!"
"Vampires? More like vam-pyres, am I right? They're so thirsty, they make Tinder look like a desert!"
"You think you're immortal? Well, I've got news for you, buddy! I'll stake you so hard, you'll feel it for centuries!"
"Forget stakes, I've got bad movies so steamy, they'll make even the undead blush!"
1 year ago
Economic Facts Nudes versus NFTs
Large supply affects demand and price. Paying for nudes? Even Bored Apes can hold a LITTLE value!
Here's why paying for nudes is worse then buying NFT's and ultimately a bad financial decision:
"You're Investing in Non-Fungible Teases": Congratulations, you've just entered the world of non-fungible teases—digital assets that are as fleeting as they are questionable. Sure, you own the rights to that tantalizing image, but good luck convincing anyone it's worth more than a pixelated peek.
"You're Contributing to the NFT Craze... Just Not in the Art World": While everyone else is busy trading digital artwork for exorbitant sums, you're pioneering the next frontier of NFTs: Notoriously Fickle Tantalizations. Who needs a virtual Mona Lisa when you can have a virtual... well, you get the idea.
"You're Turning Your Wallet into a Digital Art Museum... of Sorts": Forget about buying actual art for your walls—your wallet is now a digital art museum showcasing a collection of pixelated masterpieces. Just don't expect any museum grants or tax breaks for your... ahem, contributions.
"You're Embracing the Digital Renaissance... with Open Wallets": Move over, Michelangelo—there's a new Renaissance in town, and it's digital. By investing in digital nudes, you're not just supporting artists; you're single-handedly funding a revolution in the art world. Or at least, that's what you tell yourself.
"You're Riding the NFT Wave... Straight into Pixelated Obscurity": While others ride the wave of NFT mania to financial glory, you're surfing a different kind of wave—one that leads straight into the murky waters of pixelated obscurity. But hey, at least you're making a splash in the digital world... right?
Here's why paying for nudes is worse then buying NFT's and ultimately a bad financial decision:
"You're Investing in Non-Fungible Teases": Congratulations, you've just entered the world of non-fungible teases—digital assets that are as fleeting as they are questionable. Sure, you own the rights to that tantalizing image, but good luck convincing anyone it's worth more than a pixelated peek.
"You're Contributing to the NFT Craze... Just Not in the Art World": While everyone else is busy trading digital artwork for exorbitant sums, you're pioneering the next frontier of NFTs: Notoriously Fickle Tantalizations. Who needs a virtual Mona Lisa when you can have a virtual... well, you get the idea.
"You're Turning Your Wallet into a Digital Art Museum... of Sorts": Forget about buying actual art for your walls—your wallet is now a digital art museum showcasing a collection of pixelated masterpieces. Just don't expect any museum grants or tax breaks for your... ahem, contributions.
"You're Embracing the Digital Renaissance... with Open Wallets": Move over, Michelangelo—there's a new Renaissance in town, and it's digital. By investing in digital nudes, you're not just supporting artists; you're single-handedly funding a revolution in the art world. Or at least, that's what you tell yourself.
"You're Riding the NFT Wave... Straight into Pixelated Obscurity": While others ride the wave of NFT mania to financial glory, you're surfing a different kind of wave—one that leads straight into the murky waters of pixelated obscurity. But hey, at least you're making a splash in the digital world... right?
1 year ago
Type 1
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Auto-Incorrect: Thanks to autocorrect, innocent messages can quickly turn into unintentional comedy gold. One misplaced letter can transform "I'm feeling ducking great!" into an entirely different sentiment.
Emoji Overload: Sometimes, people rely too heavily on emojis to convey their emotions, leading to confusion. Is that smiley face meant to indicate happiness or thinly veiled sarcasm? It's hard to say!
Lost in Translation: With users from all over the globe communicating online, language barriers can lead to some hilarious misunderstandings. What's perfectly clear in one language might become a nonsensical mishmash in another.
Selective Reading: In the age of skimming and scrolling, it's easy to miss crucial context or skip over important details. Cue the awkward moments when someone responds to a post without actually reading the full content.
Meme Madness: Memes are a language unto themselves, but not everyone speaks fluent meme. What's meant to be a clever inside joke can easily be misinterpreted by those not in the know, leading to some perplexing exchanges.
Auto-Incorrect: Thanks to autocorrect, innocent messages can quickly turn into unintentional comedy gold. One misplaced letter can transform "I'm feeling ducking great!" into an entirely different sentiment.
Emoji Overload: Sometimes, people rely too heavily on emojis to convey their emotions, leading to confusion. Is that smiley face meant to indicate happiness or thinly veiled sarcasm? It's hard to say!
Lost in Translation: With users from all over the globe communicating online, language barriers can lead to some hilarious misunderstandings. What's perfectly clear in one language might become a nonsensical mishmash in another.
Selective Reading: In the age of skimming and scrolling, it's easy to miss crucial context or skip over important details. Cue the awkward moments when someone responds to a post without actually reading the full content.
Meme Madness: Memes are a language unto themselves, but not everyone speaks fluent meme. What's meant to be a clever inside joke can easily be misinterpreted by those not in the know, leading to some perplexing exchanges.
1 year ago
1 year ago
Don't do this to yourself
Just don't press enter and live in unaware bliss. But since all men need to hear this your penis is great King. Here's a few musings on why your penis is great and you should enjoy it:
It's the MVP of the Bedroom Olympics: Your penis deserves a gold medal for its outstanding performance in the marathon of love-making. It's like the Usain Bolt of boners—always ready to sprint to the finish line with record-breaking speed.
It's a Master of Camouflage: Your penis is a ninja in disguise, stealthily blending into its surroundings with expert precision. It's like having a secret agent in your pants—always ready to spring into action when duty calls.
It's a Stand-Up Comedy Sensation: Your penis has a knack for comedy, always delivering punchlines with perfect timing and impeccable delivery. It's like having a mini Kevin Hart in your trousers—ready to keep the laughs coming all night long.
It's a Generous Philanthropist: Your penis is a philanthropic hero, always willing to donate its time and energy to those in need. It's like the Mother Teresa of manhood—spreading joy and happiness wherever it goes.
It's a Musical Virtuoso: Your penis is a maestro of melody, capable of playing sweet symphonies of pleasure with every stroke and caress. It's like having a tiny Beethoven in your briefs—ready to compose a masterpiece of pleasure at a moment's notice.
It's the MVP of the Bedroom Olympics: Your penis deserves a gold medal for its outstanding performance in the marathon of love-making. It's like the Usain Bolt of boners—always ready to sprint to the finish line with record-breaking speed.
It's a Master of Camouflage: Your penis is a ninja in disguise, stealthily blending into its surroundings with expert precision. It's like having a secret agent in your pants—always ready to spring into action when duty calls.
It's a Stand-Up Comedy Sensation: Your penis has a knack for comedy, always delivering punchlines with perfect timing and impeccable delivery. It's like having a mini Kevin Hart in your trousers—ready to keep the laughs coming all night long.
It's a Generous Philanthropist: Your penis is a philanthropic hero, always willing to donate its time and energy to those in need. It's like the Mother Teresa of manhood—spreading joy and happiness wherever it goes.
It's a Musical Virtuoso: Your penis is a maestro of melody, capable of playing sweet symphonies of pleasure with every stroke and caress. It's like having a tiny Beethoven in your briefs—ready to compose a masterpiece of pleasure at a moment's notice.
1 year ago
A technicians worst nightmare
If you have a hammer everything looks like a nail. You're now banned from owning a PC stick to consoles and here's why:
The Hacker Handicap: "Because if you're using power tools on your PC, you've already proved you're a danger to technology. Console games are like training wheels for your digital dexterity—stick to the basics before you try to hack the mainframe!"
The DIY Disaster: "Because if you're treating your PC like a piece of lumber, you're better off with a controller that won't require any 'assembly.' Console games are like the IKEA furniture of gaming—just plug and play, no power tools required!"
The Tech Tantrum: "Because if you're resorting to power tools to fix your PC, you're one step away from rage-quitting and throwing your computer out the window. Console games are like a gentle massage for your gaming frustrations—no need to break out the heavy machinery!"
The Precision Problem: "Because if you can't tell the difference between a screwdriver and a mouse, you're better off sticking to games that won't require surgical precision. Console games are like a blunt instrument for your gaming needs—no finesse required!"
The Circuitry Catastrophe: "Because if you're treating your PC like a piece of wood, you're one short circuit away from a full-blown meltdown. Console games are like a safe harbor in a sea of electrical hazards—no risk of electrocution, just pure gaming bliss!"
The Hacker Handicap: "Because if you're using power tools on your PC, you've already proved you're a danger to technology. Console games are like training wheels for your digital dexterity—stick to the basics before you try to hack the mainframe!"
The DIY Disaster: "Because if you're treating your PC like a piece of lumber, you're better off with a controller that won't require any 'assembly.' Console games are like the IKEA furniture of gaming—just plug and play, no power tools required!"
The Tech Tantrum: "Because if you're resorting to power tools to fix your PC, you're one step away from rage-quitting and throwing your computer out the window. Console games are like a gentle massage for your gaming frustrations—no need to break out the heavy machinery!"
The Precision Problem: "Because if you can't tell the difference between a screwdriver and a mouse, you're better off sticking to games that won't require surgical precision. Console games are like a blunt instrument for your gaming needs—no finesse required!"
The Circuitry Catastrophe: "Because if you're treating your PC like a piece of wood, you're one short circuit away from a full-blown meltdown. Console games are like a safe harbor in a sea of electrical hazards—no risk of electrocution, just pure gaming bliss!"
1 year ago
