Register for a no ad experience.
2 years ago
2 years ago
2 years ago
Not the vets penis
Clarifying that was extremely important. The vet does not want a kitty BJ and here's a few reasons why:
The Paws and Perversion: "Because while cats may have a reputation for grooming themselves, that's where we draw the line—nobody wants a 'meow-massage' from their feline friend, especially not in the vet's office!"
The Furball Fiasco: "Because getting a tongue bath from your cat is one thing, but letting them go to town on your nether regions is a whole other ballgame—literally. Plus, who wants to explain those scratch marks to their significant other?"
The Scratching Post Scandal: "Because cats may have rough tongues, but that's no excuse for them to treat the vet's genitalia like a scratching post. It's a vet's office, not a feline fetish dungeon!"
The Hairball Horror: "Because if there's one thing worse than a hairball, it's a hairball in the wrong place—like, say, your vet's crotch. Nobody wants to deal with that mess, not even the most dedicated cat lover."
The Kitty Catastrophe: "Because while cats may be curious creatures, there are some things they're better off not exploring—like the vet's private parts. Let's leave the 'pussyfooting' to the professionals, shall we?"
The Paws and Perversion: "Because while cats may have a reputation for grooming themselves, that's where we draw the line—nobody wants a 'meow-massage' from their feline friend, especially not in the vet's office!"
The Furball Fiasco: "Because getting a tongue bath from your cat is one thing, but letting them go to town on your nether regions is a whole other ballgame—literally. Plus, who wants to explain those scratch marks to their significant other?"
The Scratching Post Scandal: "Because cats may have rough tongues, but that's no excuse for them to treat the vet's genitalia like a scratching post. It's a vet's office, not a feline fetish dungeon!"
The Hairball Horror: "Because if there's one thing worse than a hairball, it's a hairball in the wrong place—like, say, your vet's crotch. Nobody wants to deal with that mess, not even the most dedicated cat lover."
The Kitty Catastrophe: "Because while cats may be curious creatures, there are some things they're better off not exploring—like the vet's private parts. Let's leave the 'pussyfooting' to the professionals, shall we?"
2 years ago
Bear party
They look like they're having fun!
I'd love to go so I imagined up some reasons why I want to:
"Pawsitively Un-Bear-Lievable Snacks": Where else can you indulge in a buffet of salmon sushi, honey-glazed donuts, and picnic baskets overflowing with goodies? At a bear party, the snacks are as wild and unpredictable as the guests!
"Bearly Legal Dance Moves": From the cha-cha-cha to the electric slide, there's no shortage of hilariously mismatched dance styles on display. Who needs rhythm when you've got the sheer joy of busting a move with your furry friends?
"Growling Good Conversations": Ever wanted to engage in deep philosophical debates with a bear? At a bear party, anything goes! Whether you're discussing the merits of hibernation or the best technique for catching fish, you're guaranteed to have a roaring good time.
"Bear-aoke Battle Royale": Step up to the mic and unleash your inner diva with a round of bear-aoke! From classic hits to campfire sing-alongs, there's no shortage of opportunities to belt out your favorite tunes and earn the admiration of your ursine audience.
"Fur-ocious Fashion Showdown": Who wore it best: the grizzly in the flannel shirt or the polar bear in the Hawaiian shirt and shades? At a bear party, fashion takes a backseat to pure, unadulterated hilarity. Embrace your wild side and let your outfit roar!
I'd love to go so I imagined up some reasons why I want to:
"Pawsitively Un-Bear-Lievable Snacks": Where else can you indulge in a buffet of salmon sushi, honey-glazed donuts, and picnic baskets overflowing with goodies? At a bear party, the snacks are as wild and unpredictable as the guests!
"Bearly Legal Dance Moves": From the cha-cha-cha to the electric slide, there's no shortage of hilariously mismatched dance styles on display. Who needs rhythm when you've got the sheer joy of busting a move with your furry friends?
"Growling Good Conversations": Ever wanted to engage in deep philosophical debates with a bear? At a bear party, anything goes! Whether you're discussing the merits of hibernation or the best technique for catching fish, you're guaranteed to have a roaring good time.
"Bear-aoke Battle Royale": Step up to the mic and unleash your inner diva with a round of bear-aoke! From classic hits to campfire sing-alongs, there's no shortage of opportunities to belt out your favorite tunes and earn the admiration of your ursine audience.
"Fur-ocious Fashion Showdown": Who wore it best: the grizzly in the flannel shirt or the polar bear in the Hawaiian shirt and shades? At a bear party, fashion takes a backseat to pure, unadulterated hilarity. Embrace your wild side and let your outfit roar!
2 years ago
Real movie facts
I tried it , it really works!
Have some more real movie facts I guess
"The Matrix": During the filming of the iconic bullet-dodging scene, Keanu Reeves actually dodged real bullets. It turns out the special effects team forgot to replace the prop bullets with CGI ones, but fortunately, Keanu's reflexes were too quick for the speeding projectiles.
"Jurassic Park": The T-rex animatronic used in the movie was originally intended to be a giant inflatable balloon, but the filmmakers quickly realized that it looked more like a deranged birthday party mascot than a fearsome dinosaur. They decided to scrap the idea and go with CGI instead.
"Titanic": Leonardo DiCaprio actually learned to play the violin for his role as Jack Dawson, but his performance was so bad that the sound editors had to replace it with the screeching of a dying walrus in post-production. Surprisingly, audiences didn't notice the difference.
"Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone": Daniel Radcliffe's lightning bolt scar was originally drawn on with permanent marker, but due to a mix-up with the makeup department, it turned out to be indelible. Radcliffe had to wear a wig for the rest of the film to cover up the embarrassing mishap.
"The Lord of the Rings": During the filming of the epic battle scenes, the extras were accidentally given real weapons instead of prop ones. Chaos ensued as the actors fought for their lives, but fortunately, director Peter Jackson managed to capture some truly authentic battle footage amidst the mayhem.
Have some more real movie facts I guess
"The Matrix": During the filming of the iconic bullet-dodging scene, Keanu Reeves actually dodged real bullets. It turns out the special effects team forgot to replace the prop bullets with CGI ones, but fortunately, Keanu's reflexes were too quick for the speeding projectiles.
"Jurassic Park": The T-rex animatronic used in the movie was originally intended to be a giant inflatable balloon, but the filmmakers quickly realized that it looked more like a deranged birthday party mascot than a fearsome dinosaur. They decided to scrap the idea and go with CGI instead.
"Titanic": Leonardo DiCaprio actually learned to play the violin for his role as Jack Dawson, but his performance was so bad that the sound editors had to replace it with the screeching of a dying walrus in post-production. Surprisingly, audiences didn't notice the difference.
"Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone": Daniel Radcliffe's lightning bolt scar was originally drawn on with permanent marker, but due to a mix-up with the makeup department, it turned out to be indelible. Radcliffe had to wear a wig for the rest of the film to cover up the embarrassing mishap.
"The Lord of the Rings": During the filming of the epic battle scenes, the extras were accidentally given real weapons instead of prop ones. Chaos ensued as the actors fought for their lives, but fortunately, director Peter Jackson managed to capture some truly authentic battle footage amidst the mayhem.
2 years ago
Who gets to see your posts
Coming soon : just think about it and the CIA will know. Three letter acronym agencies love invading your privacy but have you ever questioned why? Maybe they're overpaid or simply lonely? Maybe they love the drama and treat your life like a reality show. Here are some reasons why these sometimes discrete agencies completely forgo the concept of privacy when it comes to normal citizens :
"The Private Parts Portfolio:" Your dick pics, selfies, and posts are like adding a new wing to the CIA and NSA's top-secret art gallery. From avant-garde selfies to abstract dick pic masterpieces, every submission is a potential addition to their classified collection—or at least a source of amusement for bored intelligence agents.
"The Surveillance Selfie Spectacular:" Your dick pics, selfies, and posts are like starring in your own reality TV show, with the CIA and NSA tuning in for the latest episode of "Life Unfiltered." Whether it's relationship drama or wardrobe malfunctions, every submission is a riveting saga of intrigue and embarrassment.
"The Covert Confessional:" Your dick pics, selfies, and posts are like a top-secret confessional booth, with the CIA and NSA listening in for your deepest, darkest secrets. From late-night musings to intimate revelations, every submission is a potential treasure trove of classified information—or at least a good source of entertainment for bored intelligence agents.
"The Digital Disguise Dilemma:" Your dick pics, selfies, and posts are like a game of high-stakes hide-and-seek, with the CIA and NSA searching for clues to your true identity. From cryptic captions to carefully curated filters, every submission is a potential disguise—or a revealing glimpse into your secret life as a double agent.
"The Classified Content Carousel:" Your dick pics, selfies, and posts are like riding a top-secret carousel of classified information. From black ops to covert operations, every submission is a potential revelation—or at least a good source of amusement for bored intelligence agents.
"The Private Parts Portfolio:" Your dick pics, selfies, and posts are like adding a new wing to the CIA and NSA's top-secret art gallery. From avant-garde selfies to abstract dick pic masterpieces, every submission is a potential addition to their classified collection—or at least a source of amusement for bored intelligence agents.
"The Surveillance Selfie Spectacular:" Your dick pics, selfies, and posts are like starring in your own reality TV show, with the CIA and NSA tuning in for the latest episode of "Life Unfiltered." Whether it's relationship drama or wardrobe malfunctions, every submission is a riveting saga of intrigue and embarrassment.
"The Covert Confessional:" Your dick pics, selfies, and posts are like a top-secret confessional booth, with the CIA and NSA listening in for your deepest, darkest secrets. From late-night musings to intimate revelations, every submission is a potential treasure trove of classified information—or at least a good source of entertainment for bored intelligence agents.
"The Digital Disguise Dilemma:" Your dick pics, selfies, and posts are like a game of high-stakes hide-and-seek, with the CIA and NSA searching for clues to your true identity. From cryptic captions to carefully curated filters, every submission is a potential disguise—or a revealing glimpse into your secret life as a double agent.
"The Classified Content Carousel:" Your dick pics, selfies, and posts are like riding a top-secret carousel of classified information. From black ops to covert operations, every submission is a potential revelation—or at least a good source of amusement for bored intelligence agents.
2 years ago
Sounds like a fun evening
Who got the honor of cleaning that up? One thing is clear though he loved it! Dogs are awesome and you proved dog like affinity to him! here is why I think pissing on the floor like a dog would make you more attractive to your boyfriend:
"The Alpha Dog Display": By marking your territory like a confident canine, you assert dominance and show your boyfriend who's the boss. It's a primal display of strength that'll have him howling with admiration.
"The Scent of Success": Your unique musk, reminiscent of freshly watered grass, is an irresistible aphrodisiac that'll have your boyfriend begging for more. Who needs expensive perfumes when you've got the natural allure of eau de urine?
"The Bonding Ritual": Sharing intimate moments, even bathroom-related ones, strengthens your bond as a couple. By embracing your inner pup, you invite your boyfriend into your world and create a deeper connection that transcends societal norms.
"The Playful Puddle Prance": Pissing on the floor like a dog is a playful way to inject some fun and spontaneity into your relationship. It's like turning everyday chores into a whimsical game of canine capers—a surefire way to keep the romance alive.
"The Wet 'n' Wild Fantasy": Let's face it—there's something undeniably sexy about breaking the rules and indulging in forbidden pleasures. By embracing your inner rebel and embracing your primal instincts, you ignite a fiery passion that'll leave your boyfriend panting for more.
"The Alpha Dog Display": By marking your territory like a confident canine, you assert dominance and show your boyfriend who's the boss. It's a primal display of strength that'll have him howling with admiration.
"The Scent of Success": Your unique musk, reminiscent of freshly watered grass, is an irresistible aphrodisiac that'll have your boyfriend begging for more. Who needs expensive perfumes when you've got the natural allure of eau de urine?
"The Bonding Ritual": Sharing intimate moments, even bathroom-related ones, strengthens your bond as a couple. By embracing your inner pup, you invite your boyfriend into your world and create a deeper connection that transcends societal norms.
"The Playful Puddle Prance": Pissing on the floor like a dog is a playful way to inject some fun and spontaneity into your relationship. It's like turning everyday chores into a whimsical game of canine capers—a surefire way to keep the romance alive.
"The Wet 'n' Wild Fantasy": Let's face it—there's something undeniably sexy about breaking the rules and indulging in forbidden pleasures. By embracing your inner rebel and embracing your primal instincts, you ignite a fiery passion that'll leave your boyfriend panting for more.
