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2 years ago
Real human conections
A rare pleasant interaction
Here are five light-hearted and humorous "nice things" a stripper might do for you:
The "Dance Dedication" Delight:
"She dedicated her latest dance routine to me, complete with a personalized twerk just for my amusement!"
The "Confetti Compassion" Comedy:
"She noticed I was feeling down, so she showered me with glitter and confetti – because nothing says 'cheer up' like a glitter bomb!"
The "Tip-Top Talent" Treat:
"She taught me some killer dance moves that I'll definitely never attempt in public – but hey, it's the thought that counts!"
The "Complimentary Compliments" Charm:
"She complimented my outfit, my hair, and my dance moves – it's like having my own personal hype squad!"
The "Selfie Souvenir" Surprise:
"She took a selfie with me and posted it on Instagram with the caption, 'Just hanging out with my biggest fan!' Who needs autographs when you have social media fame?"
Here are five light-hearted and humorous "nice things" a stripper might do for you:
The "Dance Dedication" Delight:
"She dedicated her latest dance routine to me, complete with a personalized twerk just for my amusement!"
The "Confetti Compassion" Comedy:
"She noticed I was feeling down, so she showered me with glitter and confetti – because nothing says 'cheer up' like a glitter bomb!"
The "Tip-Top Talent" Treat:
"She taught me some killer dance moves that I'll definitely never attempt in public – but hey, it's the thought that counts!"
The "Complimentary Compliments" Charm:
"She complimented my outfit, my hair, and my dance moves – it's like having my own personal hype squad!"
The "Selfie Souvenir" Surprise:
"She took a selfie with me and posted it on Instagram with the caption, 'Just hanging out with my biggest fan!' Who needs autographs when you have social media fame?"
2 years ago
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Comics through the ages
Which is your favorite style? Does it fit with your age? We encapsulated the spirit of this post in text because Dave the Search Engine Optimization guy is on my case about adding user value to pages so we get listed in google. Damn it Dave not my fault my major was history you pompous jerk...uhm anyway here are the jokes:
Boomers:
Why did the boomer cross the road? To get to the rotary phone on the other side, of course! Who needs smartphones when you've got a landline that never needs charging?
Gen Z:
Why did the Gen Z-er bring a ladder to the party? Because they heard it was going to be "lit" and they wanted to get on the "high" score leaderboard. Who needs party games when you can climb your way to the top?
Millennials:
Why did the millennial ghost refuse to haunt the library? Because they heard it was filled with "boo-ks" and they didn't want to be accused of cultural appropriation. Who needs ghost stories when you can have woke spirits?
Gen X:
Why did the Gen X-er refuse to join the neighborhood watch? Because they heard it involved too much "surveillance" and not enough "alternative music festivals." Who needs security when you can have grunge rock?
Boomers:
Why did the boomer cross the road? To get to the rotary phone on the other side, of course! Who needs smartphones when you've got a landline that never needs charging?
Gen Z:
Why did the Gen Z-er bring a ladder to the party? Because they heard it was going to be "lit" and they wanted to get on the "high" score leaderboard. Who needs party games when you can climb your way to the top?
Millennials:
Why did the millennial ghost refuse to haunt the library? Because they heard it was filled with "boo-ks" and they didn't want to be accused of cultural appropriation. Who needs ghost stories when you can have woke spirits?
Gen X:
Why did the Gen X-er refuse to join the neighborhood watch? Because they heard it involved too much "surveillance" and not enough "alternative music festivals." Who needs security when you can have grunge rock?
2 years ago
Lawyers it's sad we need them
We need them to navigate the nightmarish system they created
If a child was a lawyer here's some cases they could work on
The Case of the Missing Cookie: Defending a child accused of stealing cookies from the cookie jar. The evidence is crumbly, but the stakes are high – bedtime without dessert!
The Great Toy Heist: Representing a child accused of "borrowing" toys from their sibling's room without permission. Can they plead innocent by reason of sibling rivalry?
The Playground Dispute: Mediating a dispute between two kids arguing over who gets to be the captain of the imaginary pirate ship during recess. Ahoy, mateys, it's time to negotiate a truce!
The Pet Custody Battle: Representing a child in a heated custody battle over the family pet hamster. Who gets custody of Fluffy the hamster – Mom's house or Dad's house? The stakes have never been furrier!
The Homework Rebellion: Defending a child accused of organizing a protest against homework assignments. Can they argue for shorter school days and longer playtime? It's a fight for recess rights!
If a child was a lawyer here's some cases they could work on
The Case of the Missing Cookie: Defending a child accused of stealing cookies from the cookie jar. The evidence is crumbly, but the stakes are high – bedtime without dessert!
The Great Toy Heist: Representing a child accused of "borrowing" toys from their sibling's room without permission. Can they plead innocent by reason of sibling rivalry?
The Playground Dispute: Mediating a dispute between two kids arguing over who gets to be the captain of the imaginary pirate ship during recess. Ahoy, mateys, it's time to negotiate a truce!
The Pet Custody Battle: Representing a child in a heated custody battle over the family pet hamster. Who gets custody of Fluffy the hamster – Mom's house or Dad's house? The stakes have never been furrier!
The Homework Rebellion: Defending a child accused of organizing a protest against homework assignments. Can they argue for shorter school days and longer playtime? It's a fight for recess rights!
