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1 year ago
1 year ago
2 years ago
Nuclear burn
If the seat post can take it so can the buyer.I invented some more FAQ customer burns:
The Flaming Flop: "Q: What if I don't like the product? A: Well, we can't promise you'll love it, but we can guarantee it'll make a great conversation starter at your next 'Worst Purchase Ever' support group meeting."
The Sizzling Snark: "Q: Does this product come with a warranty? A: Sure, it comes with a warranty that's about as reliable as your ex's promises to 'change.' Good luck with that!"
The Roasting Riddle: "Q: How long does shipping take? A: About as long as it takes for your crush to text you back—so you might want to pack a lunch and settle in for the long haul."
The Charred Comeback: "Q: Is this product eco-friendly? A: Absolutely! It's so eco-friendly, it practically composts itself—just like your hopes and dreams after buying it."
The Toasted Tease: "Q: Can I return the product if it's not what I expected? A: Of course! Just remember, returning this product is a lot like trying to return a bad haircut—you'll have to live with the consequences, but at least it makes for a good story!"
The Flaming Flop: "Q: What if I don't like the product? A: Well, we can't promise you'll love it, but we can guarantee it'll make a great conversation starter at your next 'Worst Purchase Ever' support group meeting."
The Sizzling Snark: "Q: Does this product come with a warranty? A: Sure, it comes with a warranty that's about as reliable as your ex's promises to 'change.' Good luck with that!"
The Roasting Riddle: "Q: How long does shipping take? A: About as long as it takes for your crush to text you back—so you might want to pack a lunch and settle in for the long haul."
The Charred Comeback: "Q: Is this product eco-friendly? A: Absolutely! It's so eco-friendly, it practically composts itself—just like your hopes and dreams after buying it."
The Toasted Tease: "Q: Can I return the product if it's not what I expected? A: Of course! Just remember, returning this product is a lot like trying to return a bad haircut—you'll have to live with the consequences, but at least it makes for a good story!"
2 years ago
1 year ago
2 years ago
Got caught on onlyfans
Deposit amount 7.21$. Or 50,000$ if she's actually good at it. Though the problem persists she got caught. Here's some top tier excuses to give your parents when they find out you made an OnlyFans:
"The Entrepreneurial Endeavor": "I'm just trying to diversify my portfolio, Mom and Dad! OnlyFans seemed like a more lucrative investment than the stock market—plus, I heard they're giving out signing bonuses."
"The Artistic Expression": "It's performance art, Dad. I'm exploring the intersection of nudity and existentialism, pushing the boundaries of society's expectations and challenging the notion of what it means to be human. Also, I needed rent money."
"The Catfish Caper": "I'm not actually on OnlyFans, Mom. Someone must have stolen my identity and set up a fake account using all my photos and personal information. It's a classic case of online impersonation—honestly, I'm flattered they think I'm hot enough to scam people."
"The Social Experiment": "I'm conducting a groundbreaking sociological study on the commodification of intimacy in the digital age. It's all in the name of science, Mom—I swear! Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to analyzing my subscriber demographics."
"The Digital Nomad Dream": "I've decided to quit my day job and become a full-time content creator, Dad. OnlyFans is just the beginning—I'm planning to expand into YouTube, Twitch, and maybe even TikTok if I can figure out how to dance. It's the millennial dream, really—working from home in my pajamas and getting paid to be myself."
"The Entrepreneurial Endeavor": "I'm just trying to diversify my portfolio, Mom and Dad! OnlyFans seemed like a more lucrative investment than the stock market—plus, I heard they're giving out signing bonuses."
"The Artistic Expression": "It's performance art, Dad. I'm exploring the intersection of nudity and existentialism, pushing the boundaries of society's expectations and challenging the notion of what it means to be human. Also, I needed rent money."
"The Catfish Caper": "I'm not actually on OnlyFans, Mom. Someone must have stolen my identity and set up a fake account using all my photos and personal information. It's a classic case of online impersonation—honestly, I'm flattered they think I'm hot enough to scam people."
"The Social Experiment": "I'm conducting a groundbreaking sociological study on the commodification of intimacy in the digital age. It's all in the name of science, Mom—I swear! Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to analyzing my subscriber demographics."
"The Digital Nomad Dream": "I've decided to quit my day job and become a full-time content creator, Dad. OnlyFans is just the beginning—I'm planning to expand into YouTube, Twitch, and maybe even TikTok if I can figure out how to dance. It's the millennial dream, really—working from home in my pajamas and getting paid to be myself."
2 years ago
Subaru meet according to AI
Pretty accurate
Here are five humorous reasons a vape smoker might own a Subaru:
Cloud-Chasing Commutes: Subaru cars are renowned for their spacious interiors, perfect for generating massive vape clouds while cruising down the highway. It's like having a built-in fog machine on wheels!
Hipster Highway Havens: Subaru's rugged yet stylish designs appeal to the hipster crowd, providing the perfect backdrop for Instagram-worthy vape selfies in scenic locations. Because nothing says "cool" like vaping in a forest with your Subaru in the background.
All-Wheel Drive Adventure: Subaru's reputation for off-road capability makes it the ideal choice for vape smokers who love to explore the great outdoors. Whether it's vaping on a mountaintop or in a secluded forest clearing, Subaru owners can always find the perfect spot to puff away.
Impressive Cargo Capacity: Subaru's versatile cargo space offers plenty of room for storing all the essentials for a vape smoker's road trip, from spare vape batteries to an assortment of e-liquid flavors. Plus, there's ample space for stashing snacks for those inevitable vape-induced munchies.
Subaru's "Vape Nation" Edition: Rumor has it that Subaru is planning to release a special edition model tailored specifically to vape smokers, complete with custom vape holders, integrated vape charging stations, and a "Vape Nation" decal package. Because why settle for a regular car when you can drive a vape-tastic Subaru?
Here are five humorous reasons a vape smoker might own a Subaru:
Cloud-Chasing Commutes: Subaru cars are renowned for their spacious interiors, perfect for generating massive vape clouds while cruising down the highway. It's like having a built-in fog machine on wheels!
Hipster Highway Havens: Subaru's rugged yet stylish designs appeal to the hipster crowd, providing the perfect backdrop for Instagram-worthy vape selfies in scenic locations. Because nothing says "cool" like vaping in a forest with your Subaru in the background.
All-Wheel Drive Adventure: Subaru's reputation for off-road capability makes it the ideal choice for vape smokers who love to explore the great outdoors. Whether it's vaping on a mountaintop or in a secluded forest clearing, Subaru owners can always find the perfect spot to puff away.
Impressive Cargo Capacity: Subaru's versatile cargo space offers plenty of room for storing all the essentials for a vape smoker's road trip, from spare vape batteries to an assortment of e-liquid flavors. Plus, there's ample space for stashing snacks for those inevitable vape-induced munchies.
Subaru's "Vape Nation" Edition: Rumor has it that Subaru is planning to release a special edition model tailored specifically to vape smokers, complete with custom vape holders, integrated vape charging stations, and a "Vape Nation" decal package. Because why settle for a regular car when you can drive a vape-tastic Subaru?
