Register for a no ad experience.
9 months ago
You'll have lunch ready when she dumps you
Have a feeling she won't be happy with the gift
If you really want to get dumped try one of these
The "Meme Meltdown": Reply to all her messages with nothing but memes for a week straight. Bonus points if you exclusively use breakup-themed memes. Eventually, she might get the hint that you're "memes" apart.
The "Pet Peeve Parade": Compile a list of all her quirky habits and present it to her in the form of a PowerPoint presentation, complete with charts and graphs showing how they've driven you to the brink of insanity. She might decide you're too obsessed with data and charts to be boyfriend material.
The "Food Fiasco": Take her out for a romantic dinner and spend the entire time rating the food and service like a food critic. When she finally confronts you about it, tell her you're breaking up because she didn't order the recommended dish.
The "Tech Troubles": Create a fake virus alert on her computer that says, "Relationship.exe has stopped responding." When she asks you about it, tell her you can't be in a relationship with someone whose computer can't handle your love.
The "Songbird Serenade": Write her a breakup song and perform it at her family reunion in front of all her relatives. Bonus points if you recruit her grandma to play the tambourine. She might decide you're more interested in fame than her.
If you really want to get dumped try one of these
The "Meme Meltdown": Reply to all her messages with nothing but memes for a week straight. Bonus points if you exclusively use breakup-themed memes. Eventually, she might get the hint that you're "memes" apart.
The "Pet Peeve Parade": Compile a list of all her quirky habits and present it to her in the form of a PowerPoint presentation, complete with charts and graphs showing how they've driven you to the brink of insanity. She might decide you're too obsessed with data and charts to be boyfriend material.
The "Food Fiasco": Take her out for a romantic dinner and spend the entire time rating the food and service like a food critic. When she finally confronts you about it, tell her you're breaking up because she didn't order the recommended dish.
The "Tech Troubles": Create a fake virus alert on her computer that says, "Relationship.exe has stopped responding." When she asks you about it, tell her you can't be in a relationship with someone whose computer can't handle your love.
The "Songbird Serenade": Write her a breakup song and perform it at her family reunion in front of all her relatives. Bonus points if you recruit her grandma to play the tambourine. She might decide you're more interested in fame than her.
9 months ago
He looks serious
This guy took out some trees in his day, and after all why not? There is a well known Cat - Christmas tree war going on.
Here are just some of the reasons for this vicious conflict
"Cat vs. Tree Showdown":
"Christmas trees challenge a cat's throne as ruler of the living room, sparking a fur-flying battle for dominance."
"Tree Conspiracy Theory":
"Cats see Christmas trees as a human ploy to distract from their feline supremacy, igniting a purr-sonal vendetta against the towering intruders."
"Fur-tive Saboteurs":
"Cats launch stealthy missions to sabotage Christmas trees, offended by their audacious attempt to steal the spotlight."
"Ornament Envy":
"Cats resent Christmas trees flaunting flashy baubles, preferring the natural sparkle of their own fur coats."
"Tree-sonous Terrain":
"To cats, Christmas trees are towering threats poised to crush their delicate egos, igniting a feline frenzy of indignation."
Here are just some of the reasons for this vicious conflict
"Cat vs. Tree Showdown":
"Christmas trees challenge a cat's throne as ruler of the living room, sparking a fur-flying battle for dominance."
"Tree Conspiracy Theory":
"Cats see Christmas trees as a human ploy to distract from their feline supremacy, igniting a purr-sonal vendetta against the towering intruders."
"Fur-tive Saboteurs":
"Cats launch stealthy missions to sabotage Christmas trees, offended by their audacious attempt to steal the spotlight."
"Ornament Envy":
"Cats resent Christmas trees flaunting flashy baubles, preferring the natural sparkle of their own fur coats."
"Tree-sonous Terrain":
"To cats, Christmas trees are towering threats poised to crush their delicate egos, igniting a feline frenzy of indignation."
9 months ago
Augtism
A dangerous weapon, an autistic dream? Here are 5 reasons autism goes well with guns
"Zombie Apocalypse Preparedness": Because who doesn't want to be ready for the undead uprising? An autistic person might see a gun as the ultimate tool for defending against brain-hungry zombies while maintaining a safe distance from any potential social interactions.
"Target Practice Therapy": Shooting cans off a fence or hitting bullseyes at the range can provide a unique form of sensory stimulation and focus for someone on the spectrum. Plus, it's a great excuse to wear those noise-canceling headphones without anyone judging you.
"Accessorizing with Style": Forget fidget spinners—nothing says "I'm keeping it together" quite like a sleek, shiny firearm. An autistic person might see a gun as the ultimate fashion statement, adding a touch of danger to their daily ensemble.
"Dystopian Novel Research": Who says reading dystopian fiction has to be a passive activity? An autistic person might want a gun as part of their immersive research experience, ensuring they're fully prepared for any post-apocalyptic scenarios they encounter in their favorite novels.
"Intergalactic Defense Strategy": Because you never know when the aliens might invade. An autistic person might want a gun as part of their intergalactic defense strategy, ensuring they're ready to defend Earth against any extraterrestrial threats that come their way.
"Zombie Apocalypse Preparedness": Because who doesn't want to be ready for the undead uprising? An autistic person might see a gun as the ultimate tool for defending against brain-hungry zombies while maintaining a safe distance from any potential social interactions.
"Target Practice Therapy": Shooting cans off a fence or hitting bullseyes at the range can provide a unique form of sensory stimulation and focus for someone on the spectrum. Plus, it's a great excuse to wear those noise-canceling headphones without anyone judging you.
"Accessorizing with Style": Forget fidget spinners—nothing says "I'm keeping it together" quite like a sleek, shiny firearm. An autistic person might see a gun as the ultimate fashion statement, adding a touch of danger to their daily ensemble.
"Dystopian Novel Research": Who says reading dystopian fiction has to be a passive activity? An autistic person might want a gun as part of their immersive research experience, ensuring they're fully prepared for any post-apocalyptic scenarios they encounter in their favorite novels.
"Intergalactic Defense Strategy": Because you never know when the aliens might invade. An autistic person might want a gun as part of their intergalactic defense strategy, ensuring they're ready to defend Earth against any extraterrestrial threats that come their way.
9 months ago
9 months ago
A vey carefull man!
Watching his step biding his time ready for anything!
Have 5 reasons why this is a good idea
Stealth Mode: Because checking the time discreetly is a skill best mastered with your foot!
Leg Day Countdown: Who needs a gym timer when your ankle watch can remind you how long it's been since your last leg workout?
Fancy Footwork: Because nothing says "classy" like accessorizing your ankles!
Time Flies When You're Having Fun... at the Beach: For those who want to keep track of time while frolicking in the waves without the risk of losing their watch to the ocean.
Ankle Fashion Trendsetter: Who needs wristwatch tan lines when you can start a new trend of ankle watch tan lines?
Have 5 reasons why this is a good idea
Stealth Mode: Because checking the time discreetly is a skill best mastered with your foot!
Leg Day Countdown: Who needs a gym timer when your ankle watch can remind you how long it's been since your last leg workout?
Fancy Footwork: Because nothing says "classy" like accessorizing your ankles!
Time Flies When You're Having Fun... at the Beach: For those who want to keep track of time while frolicking in the waves without the risk of losing their watch to the ocean.
Ankle Fashion Trendsetter: Who needs wristwatch tan lines when you can start a new trend of ankle watch tan lines?
6 months ago
9 months ago
Enjoying frequent naps
You'll enjoy naps when you have kids too since you'll be falling asleep every time you have a spare minute. Overall naps are great and here's a few reasons why:
The Snooze Button Symphony: "Because naps are like hitting the snooze button on life's alarm clock—except you get to enjoy the dreamy encore performance in your own cozy cocoon of blankets."
The Siesta Serenade: "Because taking a nap is like orchestrating your own mini symphony of snores, snuggles, and spontaneous dreams. Move over, Beethoven—there's a new maestro in town, and they're conducting from the comfort of their pillow fort."
The Slumber Party Saga: "Because naps are the ultimate solo slumber party where you're the VIP guest list, the entertainment, and the after-party all rolled into one. Who needs Netflix when you can star in your own dreamy blockbuster?"
The Pillow Plunge: "Because naps are like taking a thrilling plunge into the abyss of the unknown, where the only waves crashing are the ones lulling you into a state of blissful oblivion. Who needs extreme sports when you can conquer the art of nap-time acrobatics?"
The Dreamy Dancefloor: "Because naps are like stepping onto the dance floor of your imagination, where the music is composed of soft snores and the only moves you need to know are the ones that lead you straight to dreamland's front door. Who needs nightclubs when you can boogie down in your own mind?"
The Snooze Button Symphony: "Because naps are like hitting the snooze button on life's alarm clock—except you get to enjoy the dreamy encore performance in your own cozy cocoon of blankets."
The Siesta Serenade: "Because taking a nap is like orchestrating your own mini symphony of snores, snuggles, and spontaneous dreams. Move over, Beethoven—there's a new maestro in town, and they're conducting from the comfort of their pillow fort."
The Slumber Party Saga: "Because naps are the ultimate solo slumber party where you're the VIP guest list, the entertainment, and the after-party all rolled into one. Who needs Netflix when you can star in your own dreamy blockbuster?"
The Pillow Plunge: "Because naps are like taking a thrilling plunge into the abyss of the unknown, where the only waves crashing are the ones lulling you into a state of blissful oblivion. Who needs extreme sports when you can conquer the art of nap-time acrobatics?"
The Dreamy Dancefloor: "Because naps are like stepping onto the dance floor of your imagination, where the music is composed of soft snores and the only moves you need to know are the ones that lead you straight to dreamland's front door. Who needs nightclubs when you can boogie down in your own mind?"
