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1 year ago
Drive to Alabama for meth
Stay because you sold your car for meth.
We recommend feeding your kids over spending the money on meth, here are 5 reasons why:
"Your kids won't try to sell the food to buy more food."
"Feeding your kids leads to delightful family dinners, while meth dinners tend to be more... solitary affairs."
"The only 'withdrawal symptoms' from not feeding your kids might be some adorable puppy-dog eyes, whereas skipping meth could lead to, well, let's just say less cute outcomes."
"Feeding your kids provides endless opportunities for culinary adventures and picky-eater negotiations, whereas meth just provides... a different kind of adventure, but with significantly less flavor."
"Investing in your kids' nutrition now might just save you money on therapy bills later. Meanwhile, investing in meth... well, let's just say it's not exactly a sound long-term investment plan."
We recommend feeding your kids over spending the money on meth, here are 5 reasons why:
"Your kids won't try to sell the food to buy more food."
"Feeding your kids leads to delightful family dinners, while meth dinners tend to be more... solitary affairs."
"The only 'withdrawal symptoms' from not feeding your kids might be some adorable puppy-dog eyes, whereas skipping meth could lead to, well, let's just say less cute outcomes."
"Feeding your kids provides endless opportunities for culinary adventures and picky-eater negotiations, whereas meth just provides... a different kind of adventure, but with significantly less flavor."
"Investing in your kids' nutrition now might just save you money on therapy bills later. Meanwhile, investing in meth... well, let's just say it's not exactly a sound long-term investment plan."
1 year ago
1 year ago
Girls stop doing this
More filters then all the worlds water supply uses
These trustworthy health warnings might stop them
"Warning: Wrinkle-Rific Filter Ahead"
"Using this filter might age you like fine wine, complete with wrinkles and a distinguished aura. Side effects include sudden urges to dispense wisdom and an increased appreciation for rocking chairs."
"Caution: Crow's Feet Creator"
"Applying this filter excessively could result in crow's feet around the eyes, giving you a prematurely wise appearance. Side effects may include nostalgic yearnings for the good ol' days."
"Notice: Grayscale Glamour"
"This filter drains color from your face, giving you a vintage vibe. Side effects may include sudden cravings for classic movies and a desire to dispense sage advice."
"Alert: Prematurely Gray Guarantee"
"Long-term use of this filter might give you a head of distinguished gray hair. Side effects may include being mistaken for a seasoned sage and unsolicited requests for life advice."
"Attention: Retro Aging Risk"
"Using this filter might transport you back in time, aging you instantly. Side effects may include nostalgia for bygone eras and an affinity for vintage fashion."
These trustworthy health warnings might stop them
"Warning: Wrinkle-Rific Filter Ahead"
"Using this filter might age you like fine wine, complete with wrinkles and a distinguished aura. Side effects include sudden urges to dispense wisdom and an increased appreciation for rocking chairs."
"Caution: Crow's Feet Creator"
"Applying this filter excessively could result in crow's feet around the eyes, giving you a prematurely wise appearance. Side effects may include nostalgic yearnings for the good ol' days."
"Notice: Grayscale Glamour"
"This filter drains color from your face, giving you a vintage vibe. Side effects may include sudden cravings for classic movies and a desire to dispense sage advice."
"Alert: Prematurely Gray Guarantee"
"Long-term use of this filter might give you a head of distinguished gray hair. Side effects may include being mistaken for a seasoned sage and unsolicited requests for life advice."
"Attention: Retro Aging Risk"
"Using this filter might transport you back in time, aging you instantly. Side effects may include nostalgia for bygone eras and an affinity for vintage fashion."
1 year ago
1 year ago
1 year ago
Now you're thinking with portals
While being homeless ...that's the not fun part.
But a family that starves together stays together...until they starve of course.
Here are some fun ways familial starvation brings you together:
"The Hunger Games: Family Edition": Not affording food brings the family together in a competitive spirit, turning mealtime into a thrilling scavenger hunt for snacks hidden in the pantry. Who needs board games when you can have the real Hunger Games?
"The Culinary Creativity Club": Not affording food sparks the family's creativity in the kitchen, turning leftovers into gourmet masterpieces and transforming canned goods into culinary delights. Who needs a Michelin-starred restaurant when you have a budget-friendly family kitchen?
"The Financial Fiasco Fellowship": Not affording food fosters a sense of camaraderie as the family bands together to brainstorm creative ways to stretch their grocery budget, from coupon clipping marathons to strategic meal planning sessions. Who needs financial advisors when you have a thrifty family team?
"The Potluck Party": Not affording food turns mealtime into a potluck extravaganza, where each family member brings their own culinary creation to the table, resulting in a smorgasbord of mismatched dishes and unexpected flavor combinations. Who needs a menu when you have a potluck lineup?
"The Hunger Bonding Ritual": Not affording food transforms mealtime into a bonding ritual, where the family gathers around the empty dinner table to share stories, jokes, and dreams of future feasts. Who needs a fancy banquet hall when you have a heartfelt family dinner conversation?
But a family that starves together stays together...until they starve of course.
Here are some fun ways familial starvation brings you together:
"The Hunger Games: Family Edition": Not affording food brings the family together in a competitive spirit, turning mealtime into a thrilling scavenger hunt for snacks hidden in the pantry. Who needs board games when you can have the real Hunger Games?
"The Culinary Creativity Club": Not affording food sparks the family's creativity in the kitchen, turning leftovers into gourmet masterpieces and transforming canned goods into culinary delights. Who needs a Michelin-starred restaurant when you have a budget-friendly family kitchen?
"The Financial Fiasco Fellowship": Not affording food fosters a sense of camaraderie as the family bands together to brainstorm creative ways to stretch their grocery budget, from coupon clipping marathons to strategic meal planning sessions. Who needs financial advisors when you have a thrifty family team?
"The Potluck Party": Not affording food turns mealtime into a potluck extravaganza, where each family member brings their own culinary creation to the table, resulting in a smorgasbord of mismatched dishes and unexpected flavor combinations. Who needs a menu when you have a potluck lineup?
"The Hunger Bonding Ritual": Not affording food transforms mealtime into a bonding ritual, where the family gathers around the empty dinner table to share stories, jokes, and dreams of future feasts. Who needs a fancy banquet hall when you have a heartfelt family dinner conversation?
1 year ago
