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2 years ago
Bust out the heavy duty chairs
It's punching up, she's rich and famous relax. Here are a few reasons we totally didn't make up that clearly state we're allowed to make fun of rich people as long as we want:
"The Champagne Comedy Club Membership": Being rich comes with its own set of privileges, including an exclusive membership to the "Champagne Comedy Club." As a card-carrying member, you're entitled to unlimited quips, jests, and jabs at the expense of the elite.
"The Trust Fund Tease Treaty": Rich people have a surplus of wealth, but they're sorely lacking in the humor department. By making fun of them, you're simply redistributing laughter to those who need it most—while poking fun at their inability to take a joke.
"The Tax Deduction Dilemma": According to the IRS (International Roasting Standards), making fun of rich people is classified as a charitable donation. So, every time you crack a joke at their expense, you're actually contributing to the greater good by lightening the mood and spreading laughter.
"The Yacht Club Yodeling Yarn": Rich people may have yachts, but they lack the simple joys of everyday humor. By poking fun at their extravagant lifestyles, you're leveling the playing field and reminding them that money can't buy a sense of humor.
"The Billionaire Banter Bonus": Making fun of rich people is like a sport—except instead of trophies, you win the satisfaction of seeing their perfectly coiffed hair ruffled by a well-timed jest. Plus, it's the only workout where you can burn calories while rolling your eyes.
"The Champagne Comedy Club Membership": Being rich comes with its own set of privileges, including an exclusive membership to the "Champagne Comedy Club." As a card-carrying member, you're entitled to unlimited quips, jests, and jabs at the expense of the elite.
"The Trust Fund Tease Treaty": Rich people have a surplus of wealth, but they're sorely lacking in the humor department. By making fun of them, you're simply redistributing laughter to those who need it most—while poking fun at their inability to take a joke.
"The Tax Deduction Dilemma": According to the IRS (International Roasting Standards), making fun of rich people is classified as a charitable donation. So, every time you crack a joke at their expense, you're actually contributing to the greater good by lightening the mood and spreading laughter.
"The Yacht Club Yodeling Yarn": Rich people may have yachts, but they lack the simple joys of everyday humor. By poking fun at their extravagant lifestyles, you're leveling the playing field and reminding them that money can't buy a sense of humor.
"The Billionaire Banter Bonus": Making fun of rich people is like a sport—except instead of trophies, you win the satisfaction of seeing their perfectly coiffed hair ruffled by a well-timed jest. Plus, it's the only workout where you can burn calories while rolling your eyes.
2 years ago
Please don't
Regardless of location , please don't
In case you still want to have 5 reasons why this might not be the best idea
Tiny Portions: Gerbils are notorious for their small size, so if you're looking for a hearty meal, you might end up with just a nibble!
Exercise Routine: Gerbils are known for their energetic nature, so eating them might give you a sudden burst of energy – but good luck trying to sit still afterward!
Furball Fiasco: Gerbils have a lot of fur, which could lead to an unexpected and unpleasant hairball situation. Not exactly appetizing!
Cheeky Business: Have you ever tried to eat something with cheeks stuffed full of food? Gerbils have! And let's just say it's not the most graceful dining experience.
Rodent Reviews: If you think Yelp reviews for restaurants can be brutal, just wait until the gerbil community hears about your dining choices. You'll be the talk of the (hamster) wheel for all the wrong reasons!
In case you still want to have 5 reasons why this might not be the best idea
Tiny Portions: Gerbils are notorious for their small size, so if you're looking for a hearty meal, you might end up with just a nibble!
Exercise Routine: Gerbils are known for their energetic nature, so eating them might give you a sudden burst of energy – but good luck trying to sit still afterward!
Furball Fiasco: Gerbils have a lot of fur, which could lead to an unexpected and unpleasant hairball situation. Not exactly appetizing!
Cheeky Business: Have you ever tried to eat something with cheeks stuffed full of food? Gerbils have! And let's just say it's not the most graceful dining experience.
Rodent Reviews: If you think Yelp reviews for restaurants can be brutal, just wait until the gerbil community hears about your dining choices. You'll be the talk of the (hamster) wheel for all the wrong reasons!
2 years ago
2 years ago
Real movie facts
I tried it , it really works!
Have some more real movie facts I guess
"The Matrix": During the filming of the iconic bullet-dodging scene, Keanu Reeves actually dodged real bullets. It turns out the special effects team forgot to replace the prop bullets with CGI ones, but fortunately, Keanu's reflexes were too quick for the speeding projectiles.
"Jurassic Park": The T-rex animatronic used in the movie was originally intended to be a giant inflatable balloon, but the filmmakers quickly realized that it looked more like a deranged birthday party mascot than a fearsome dinosaur. They decided to scrap the idea and go with CGI instead.
"Titanic": Leonardo DiCaprio actually learned to play the violin for his role as Jack Dawson, but his performance was so bad that the sound editors had to replace it with the screeching of a dying walrus in post-production. Surprisingly, audiences didn't notice the difference.
"Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone": Daniel Radcliffe's lightning bolt scar was originally drawn on with permanent marker, but due to a mix-up with the makeup department, it turned out to be indelible. Radcliffe had to wear a wig for the rest of the film to cover up the embarrassing mishap.
"The Lord of the Rings": During the filming of the epic battle scenes, the extras were accidentally given real weapons instead of prop ones. Chaos ensued as the actors fought for their lives, but fortunately, director Peter Jackson managed to capture some truly authentic battle footage amidst the mayhem.
Have some more real movie facts I guess
"The Matrix": During the filming of the iconic bullet-dodging scene, Keanu Reeves actually dodged real bullets. It turns out the special effects team forgot to replace the prop bullets with CGI ones, but fortunately, Keanu's reflexes were too quick for the speeding projectiles.
"Jurassic Park": The T-rex animatronic used in the movie was originally intended to be a giant inflatable balloon, but the filmmakers quickly realized that it looked more like a deranged birthday party mascot than a fearsome dinosaur. They decided to scrap the idea and go with CGI instead.
"Titanic": Leonardo DiCaprio actually learned to play the violin for his role as Jack Dawson, but his performance was so bad that the sound editors had to replace it with the screeching of a dying walrus in post-production. Surprisingly, audiences didn't notice the difference.
"Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone": Daniel Radcliffe's lightning bolt scar was originally drawn on with permanent marker, but due to a mix-up with the makeup department, it turned out to be indelible. Radcliffe had to wear a wig for the rest of the film to cover up the embarrassing mishap.
"The Lord of the Rings": During the filming of the epic battle scenes, the extras were accidentally given real weapons instead of prop ones. Chaos ensued as the actors fought for their lives, but fortunately, director Peter Jackson managed to capture some truly authentic battle footage amidst the mayhem.
2 years ago
2 years ago
Nailed or failed
Let's not kid ourselves you failed. If you're waiting fot the results of a test you hurried finishing right now we got your back! You FAILED and here's a few reasons why:
"The Quick Quagmire": "Because you sprinted through that test like you were being chased by a stampede of angry squirrels—leaping over questions faster than a hurdle champion on caffeine. Unfortunately, speed doesn't always equate to accuracy, and now you find yourself knee-deep in the quicksand of academic mishaps."
"The Turbocharged Tragedy": "Because you approached that test with all the finesse of a toddler in a toy store on Black Friday—grabbing answers like they were the last slice of pizza at a party. But just like trying to eat pizza with both hands while sprinting, your efforts resulted in a messy disaster."
"The Sonic Boom Bust": "Because you raced through that test with the intensity of Sonic the Hedgehog on a caffeine high—whizzing past questions faster than the speed of sound. Unfortunately, you forgot that Sonic's main talent is collecting golden rings, not A-pluses on exams."
"The Formula One Fumble": "Because you tackled that test like a Formula One driver on the final lap of the Grand Prix—pushing the pedal to the metal and zooming past questions faster than a Ferrari on the Autobahn. But just like in racing, sometimes it's better to slow down and take the corners carefully, or you'll end up crashing into the wall of academic despair."
"The Flash Flood of Failure": "Because you blazed through that test like The Flash on a mission to save the day—zipping past questions faster than a bolt of lightning. But much like a sudden flash flood, your rapid-fire approach left you drowning in a deluge of incorrect answers and dashed hopes of academic glory."
"The Quick Quagmire": "Because you sprinted through that test like you were being chased by a stampede of angry squirrels—leaping over questions faster than a hurdle champion on caffeine. Unfortunately, speed doesn't always equate to accuracy, and now you find yourself knee-deep in the quicksand of academic mishaps."
"The Turbocharged Tragedy": "Because you approached that test with all the finesse of a toddler in a toy store on Black Friday—grabbing answers like they were the last slice of pizza at a party. But just like trying to eat pizza with both hands while sprinting, your efforts resulted in a messy disaster."
"The Sonic Boom Bust": "Because you raced through that test with the intensity of Sonic the Hedgehog on a caffeine high—whizzing past questions faster than the speed of sound. Unfortunately, you forgot that Sonic's main talent is collecting golden rings, not A-pluses on exams."
"The Formula One Fumble": "Because you tackled that test like a Formula One driver on the final lap of the Grand Prix—pushing the pedal to the metal and zooming past questions faster than a Ferrari on the Autobahn. But just like in racing, sometimes it's better to slow down and take the corners carefully, or you'll end up crashing into the wall of academic despair."
"The Flash Flood of Failure": "Because you blazed through that test like The Flash on a mission to save the day—zipping past questions faster than a bolt of lightning. But much like a sudden flash flood, your rapid-fire approach left you drowning in a deluge of incorrect answers and dashed hopes of academic glory."
2 years ago
You can't win with these people
Putting women out of a job. We should create more porn jobs not fewer! Porn addiction is good for you ...or so we've been bribed to say by big porn. Here are the reasons our unbiased totally honest research found out:
"The Cardiovascular Workout": Forget about hitting the gym—watching porn can get your heart racing faster than a marathon sprint. Who needs a treadmill when you can burn calories from the comfort of your own bed?
"The Stress-Relief Solution": Feeling stressed? Dive into a world of adult entertainment and let your worries melt away faster than ice cream on a hot summer day. Who needs meditation when you can achieve zen-like relaxation with just a few clicks?
"The Creativity Catalyst": Watching porn can spark your imagination and inspire you to think outside the box (or the bedroom). Who needs brainstorming sessions when you can brainstorm your way to satisfaction?
"The Sleepytime Sedative": Can't seem to catch those elusive Z's? Watching porn might just be the ticket to dreamland. Who needs sleeping pills when you can drift off into a blissful slumber with some late-night entertainment?
"The Social Skills Simulator": Watching porn can teach you valuable life lessons and improve your social skills. Who needs awkward small talk when you can learn the art of seduction from the comfort of your own screen?
"The Cardiovascular Workout": Forget about hitting the gym—watching porn can get your heart racing faster than a marathon sprint. Who needs a treadmill when you can burn calories from the comfort of your own bed?
"The Stress-Relief Solution": Feeling stressed? Dive into a world of adult entertainment and let your worries melt away faster than ice cream on a hot summer day. Who needs meditation when you can achieve zen-like relaxation with just a few clicks?
"The Creativity Catalyst": Watching porn can spark your imagination and inspire you to think outside the box (or the bedroom). Who needs brainstorming sessions when you can brainstorm your way to satisfaction?
"The Sleepytime Sedative": Can't seem to catch those elusive Z's? Watching porn might just be the ticket to dreamland. Who needs sleeping pills when you can drift off into a blissful slumber with some late-night entertainment?
"The Social Skills Simulator": Watching porn can teach you valuable life lessons and improve your social skills. Who needs awkward small talk when you can learn the art of seduction from the comfort of your own screen?
