New Albums Tagged with girlfriend

So he got a girlfriend, simple as

Not me :(

if the person didn't just end his by mistake!

Who got the honor of cleaning that up? One thing is clear though he loved it! Dogs are awesome and you proved dog like affinity to him! here is why I think pissing on the floor like a dog would make you more attractive to your boyfriend: "The Alpha Dog Display": By marking your territory like a confident canine, you assert dominance and show your boyfriend who's the boss. It's a primal display of strength that'll have him howling with admiration. "The Scent of Success": Your unique musk, reminiscent of freshly watered grass, is an irresistible aphrodisiac that'll have your boyfriend begging for more. Who needs expensive perfumes when you've got the natural allure of eau de urine? "The Bonding Ritual": Sharing intimate moments, even bathroom-related ones, strengthens your bond as a couple. By embracing your inner pup, you invite your boyfriend into your world and create a deeper connection that transcends societal norms. "The Playful Puddle Prance": Pissing on the floor like a dog is a playful way to inject some fun and spontaneity into your relationship. It's like turning everyday chores into a whimsical game of canine capers—a surefire way to keep the romance alive. "The Wet 'n' Wild Fantasy": Let's face it—there's something undeniably sexy about breaking the rules and indulging in forbidden pleasures. By embracing your inner rebel and embracing your primal instincts, you ignite a fiery passion that'll leave your boyfriend panting for more.

Nothing more romantic then saving 900$ per month in my opinion. Here are some reasons I made up that fully support my view: "The Penny Pinching Passion": Nothing says "I love you" like socking away $900 a month for your future together. It's like whispering sweet nothings into your partner's ear, except those sweet nothings are compounded interest rates and a secure retirement plan. "The Budgeting Bond": Planning for your future as a couple is the ultimate aphrodisiac. Watching your savings account grow by $900 each month is like watching your love blossom into a beautiful financial partnership—complete with joint tax returns and matching retirement funds. "The Frugal Fairy Tale": Saving $900 a month is like writing your own modern-day fairy tale, where Prince Charming sweeps you off your feet and into the realm of financial stability. Who needs glass slippers when you've got a healthy emergency fund and a diversified investment portfolio? "The Romantic Rainy Day Fund": Nothing sets the mood like knowing you're prepared for any financial curveball life throws your way. With $900 a month stashed away, you can weather any storm together—from unexpected car repairs to impromptu weekend getaways. "The Thrifty Thrill": Forget candlelit dinners and sunset strolls—saving $900 a month is the ultimate romantic gesture. It shows your partner that you're in it for the long haul, committed to building a future together filled with love, laughter, and a healthy savings account. Who needs grand gestures when you've got compound interest?

"Send that bitch a meme bitches love memes" - Unknown Love Guru Here's 5 funny romantic scenarios involving memes and kissing your girlfriend: "The Meme-orable Smooch": You lean in for a kiss with your girlfriend, but just before your lips meet, you both burst out laughing at a meme you saw earlier. As you try to stifle your giggles, your lips finally connect in a kiss—a perfect blend of humor and romance that leaves you both grinning from ear to ear. "The Meme-ory Lane Kiss": You and your girlfriend spend the evening scrolling through old memes and reminiscing about the good times. As you laugh at a particularly hilarious meme, your girlfriend leans in and plants a sweet kiss on your lips, sealing the moment with a touch of nostalgia and affection. "The Meme-ingful Kiss": You surprise your girlfriend with a custom-made meme that captures all the inside jokes and special moments you've shared together. Touched by the sentiment, she pulls you close and plants a kiss on your lips, thanking you for the thoughtful gesture in the most romantic way possible. "The Meme-tastic Makeout Session": You and your girlfriend challenge each other to a meme-off, seeing who can come up with the funniest memes on the spot. As the competition heats up, you find yourselves laughing uncontrollably—and before you know it, the laughter turns into a full-blown makeout session, with memes forgotten in favor of something much more exciting. "The Meme Romance Reboot": You and your girlfriend spend the evening binge-watching meme compilations and sharing your favorite viral videos. As the night draws to a close, you realize that the best meme of all is the one you're living right now—a love story filled with laughter, kisses, and plenty of shared memes along the way.

What a cute relationship. Forever alone people don't continue reading, here's 5 reasons why kissing your girlfriend is cute: The Lip Lock: "Because kissing your girlfriend is like playing a game of 'Where's Waldo?'—except instead of finding a bespectacled wanderer in a striped shirt, you're searching for the perfect pucker in a sea of lips. It's like a romantic scavenger hunt, but with fewer clues and more smooches!" The Slobber Snuggle: "Because kissing your girlfriend is like sharing a melting ice cream cone on a hot summer day—sure, it's messy and sticky, but it's also a sweet reminder that life's too short to worry about getting a little slobber on your chin. Embrace the messiness and dive mouth-first into the deliciousness of love!" The PDA Parade: "Because kissing your girlfriend is like starring in your own personal rom-com—except instead of a Hollywood set, you're making out in line at the grocery store or stealing smooches at a stoplight. Who needs a blockbuster movie when you've got real-life romance happening right before your eyes?" The Lipstick Locomotion: "Because kissing your girlfriend is like riding a roller coaster—there are ups and downs, twists and turns, and the occasional loop-de-loop. Sure, you might get a little queasy from all the lip-locking, but isn't that half the fun of the ride?" The Lovey-Dovey Lip Service: "Because kissing your girlfriend is like pressing the 'reset' button on a bad day—no matter how stressed or cranky you might feel, one smooch from your sweetheart is all it takes to turn that frown upside down. Who needs therapy when you've got the healing power of lip-locking love?"

She probably suspects way worse now. I asked our intern Kyle to write 5 possible stories but since he's spent like 7 years in the bighouse they all came out jail related. Yes we hire ex-cons take that ESG scores! "The Mastermind Mishap": You were once known as the infamous "Socks Bandit" for stealing pairs of socks from every laundromat in town. Your girlfriend might think twice about leaving her favorite socks unattended now! "The Great Escape Episode": You were briefly incarcerated for attempting to break out of an amusement park haunted house because you were convinced it was a real prison. Your girlfriend might worry about your problem-solving skills (or lack thereof) in sticky situations. "The Celebrity Cellmate Caper": You once claimed to have been cellmates with a famous celebrity during your brief stint in jail, only to later admit it was just a cardboard cutout of them in the visitor's room. Your girlfriend might question your grasp on reality (and your taste in friends). "The Tattoo Taboo": You got a tattoo in jail of your favorite cartoon character, only to realize too late that it was misspelled. Your girlfriend might wonder if you're still struggling with basic literacy (or just have a questionable taste in body art). "The Prison Performance Ploy": You were briefly known as the "Singing Serenader" for your attempts to start a jailhouse boy band. Your girlfriend might be concerned about your career aspirations (and your singing voice).

Take the initiative girls. If you're dealing with one of the dumbest most oblivious people alive try these techniques: Deploy the "Flirting for Dummies" Manual: Casually slip them a copy of "Flirting for Dummies" under the guise of recommending a good read. Maybe they'll get the hint, or at the very least, they'll have some entertaining bedtime reading. Invent a Flirting Translator App: Pretend to furiously type away on your phone whenever you're flirting with them. When they ask what you're doing, tell them you're using your new invention—a Flirting Translator App—to decode their responses. Spoiler alert: it's just the Notes app with random gibberish. Start a Flirting with Obvious Signals Club: Enlist their unwitting participation in a pretend club where you practice "subtle" flirting techniques. Cue exaggerated winks, finger guns, and overly dramatic hair flips. Bonus points if you print out membership cards. Stage a "Flirting Intervention": Gather their friends and family for an "intervention" where you all hilariously reenact their missed flirting opportunities. Bonus points for costumes and props—maybe a giant neon sign that says "I'm flirting with you!" Channel Your Inner Mime: Take a page from the silent comedians and communicate your flirtatious intentions through exaggerated gestures and facial expressions. It's like playing a game of charades, but with romance instead of movie titles.

No takesie baksies. But you can suesis themsies! Here are some ways you could argue some sweet honeymoon money out of them in court: The Cap Proposal Catastrophe: Argue that the soft drink company's "will you marry me" printed bottle cap was a reckless act of romantic sabotage. You innocently twisted open a bottle, only to be blindsided by an unexpected marriage proposal from a stranger who mistook you for the love of their life. The Cap Conundrum Conspiracy: Accuse the soft drink company of orchestrating a diabolical plot to disrupt the institution of marriage with their mischievous bottle caps. You were just trying to enjoy a refreshing beverage when you inadvertently became entangled in their matrimonial mayhem. The Cap Caprice Calamity: Assert that the soft drink company's whimsical "will you marry me" bottle cap campaign was a reckless gamble with people's emotions. You never intended to tie the knot with a random passerby, but the irresistible allure of the proposal printed on the cap led to a comedy of errors. The Cap Chaos Controversy: Claim that the soft drink company's ill-advised decision to print "will you marry me" on their bottle caps caused widespread confusion and chaos. You thought you were simply indulging in a refreshing beverage, not unwittingly entering into a lifelong commitment with a stranger. The Cap Capitulation Comedy: Assert that the soft drink company's mischievous "will you marry me" bottle cap campaign was a comedic disaster waiting to happen. You never imagined that a simple twist of a cap would lead to an impromptu marriage proposal from a bewildered bystander.

Might be closed for him for a while from now on. Normal business hours are between 1 pm and 1 am. That is ample time for sexy time. here is a list of why these legs stay closed before 1PM : "The Morning Sleep Spell": Her legs remain closed until 1 pm due to the powerful enchantment of the morning sleep spell. No amount of coffee or alarm clocks can break its hold—only the magical hour of 1 pm can lift the curse and set her legs free. "The Noontime Negotiation": Her legs are closed until 1 pm because they're busy negotiating a better deal with gravity. Apparently, they've struck a bargain to stay firmly shut until the clock strikes 1, at which point they'll graciously return to their usual upright position. "The Brunch Buffet Break": Her legs are closed until 1 pm because they're waiting for the all-you-can-eat brunch buffet to open. Apparently, they've heard rumors of bottomless mimosas and unlimited bacon, and they refuse to budge until they've had their fill. "The Midday Siesta Syndrome": Her legs are closed until 1 pm because they're observing the sacred ritual of the midday siesta. Apparently, they've decided to take a page out of the Spanish playbook and indulge in a leisurely nap until the sun reaches its zenith. "The Pre-Lunch Limbo": Her legs are closed until 1 pm because they're stuck in a state of pre-lunch limbo. Apparently, they've decided to hold out until the lunch bell rings, at which point they'll eagerly spring into action in search of sustenance.

She keeps lovebombing him, so maybe join her cult then? Here are 5 reasons you should join your girlfriends creepy cult: Unwavering Devotion: Members are expected to show unwavering devotion to the girlfriend-cult leader, obeying her every command without question. Failure to comply results in mysterious consequences that no one dares to speak of. Sinister Seduction: The girlfriend-cult leader exudes an unsettling aura of charisma and charm, drawing in new members with promises of love and acceptance. But behind closed doors, her true intentions remain shrouded in darkness. Nightly Vigils: Each night, members gather in dimly lit chambers to perform eerie rituals in honor of the girlfriend-cult leader. The air is thick with anticipation and fear as they await her arrival, unsure of what horrors the night may bring. Whispers in the Dark: Rumors abound of whispered conversations between the girlfriend-cult leader and shadowy figures who lurk in the depths of the cult compound. What sinister plots are being hatched behind closed doors? Forbidden Liaisons: Despite the dangers, members find themselves drawn to forbidden liaisons with the girlfriend-cult leader, unable to resist her seductive allure. But these clandestine affairs come with a steep price, as betrayal and heartbreak lurk around every corner.